Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Star Trek, nor do I make any money from this story.
Note: This is likely to be the first in a series of McKirk drabbles.
A Fish By Any Other Name
Leonard McCoy had been sitting at his desk at their shared dorm, concentrating intently on his studies when he'd heard it. It was an unintelligible noise, a cluster of repetitive syllables mashed together into one confusing, jumbled whole. He turned in his chair, neck craning around until he was able to settle his gaze firmly upon the Jim-sized lump lying contentedly on his bed, PADD propped up against a pillow as he scrolled through its contents.
"What the hell was that?" the brunet demanded, his brows furrowing, voice indicating his irritation at having been disturbed. He had a natural inclination to question his blond roommate regarding anything unusual, since these sorts of things had a habit of running wildly out of control if left unchecked, no matter how inane they might originally seem.
The lump simply looked up at him with those damnably-blue eyes, blinking owlishly. "What was what?" The blond was genuinely confused, going so far as to actually look around their room, surveying the area for anything that might have thudded, squeaked, groaned, or created any other form of audible noise. "I didn't hear anything."
Bones rolled his eyes, amazed once again by the dense clump of air that was settled directly between Jim's ears, and he lifted one hand to gesture exasperatedly. "Whatever the hell that noise was, you were the one that made it," he retorted with a scoff. The look of sudden recognition that passed across the cadet's face didn't do anything to ease the doctor's mild irritation.
"You mean 'humuhumunukunukuapua'a'?"
Leonard was dumbfounded. He just deadpanned at the blond, as if this was supposed to be some sort of hilarious alien language that was created solely for the purpose of driving him insane. He genuinely believed that the universe was creating such a thing right at this very moment, but he hadn't expected it to fall into Jim's hands quite so quickly. "Huma-what?"
"Humuhumunukunukuapua'a," the younger male repeated easily, a slow, wry grin spreading across his face. He seemed to realize that the strange word had captured the doctor's attention and was planning on using it to his advantage. "It's really not that hard to say," he goaded, but the brunet wouldn't have any of it, silencing him with a single flick of his hand.
"I don't give a damn how to say it, but what the hell is it?" As soon as the question left his lips, he had a PADD shoved in his face, a picture of a rather ugly looking white, black, and yellow fish taking up the majority of the screen, with the words "Humuhumunukunukuapua'a / Reef Triggerfish" printed just underneath. In Bones' opinion, it was one of the strangest-looking Terran fish he had ever seen, with eyes that nearly sat on top of its thin head and a mouth that looked like it had been sucking on lemons.
Somehow, in the midst of being distracted by the image, he'd ended up with something heavy and squirming in his lap, and a pair of azure eyes staring at him over top of the device. "What?" he growled, not in the mood for the blond's games, his hands already moving to shove both the PADD and the body attached to it out of the way.
Unfortunately, the recalcitrant invader would not budge. "It's a reef fish from Hawaii," Jim supplied helpfully, going so far as to actually point at the picture, as if Bones couldn't see it when it was right in front of his nose. "Humuhumunukunukuapua'a actually means triggerfish with a snout like a pig."
And suddenly, the brunet wasn't listening anymore, his eyes fixated on his roommate's lips that were mere inches away, his own mouth suddenly feeling dry. "Say that again."
"Humuhumunukunukuapua'a," Jim enunciated slowly, mouth perfectly conforming to each sound, tongue completely pliant under his command.
Jesus fucking Christ.
How unfortunate it was, that despite it being such an obnoxious, ridiculous, and completely unpronounceable word, it forced the blond's mouth into something that was entirely too kissable, his lips rounding and puckering to form the required sounds in the most inviting way possible.
His distraction must have been evident, since he could have sworn he saw the slightest upward twitch of a smirk before the blond launched into another recitation: "Humuhumunuku—"
Bones didn't let him finish. The PADD clattered to the floor forgotten as he surged upwards and out of the chair, taking the laughing blond with him and plowing them both into their shared mattress with a grunt, raining kisses down on the squirming form trapped beneath him.
"Easy, Bones!" Jim yelped, trying to keep the wandering hands from divesting him too quickly of his clothes. "There are still five other humuhumus to go!"