In the end, he'd fooled himself. He fell into the belief that she'd stopped caring. All that was gone, blown out like a candle when she realized he wasn't some prince descended from the heavens to whisk her off. No, she didn't love him. And no, he Did Not Love Her.
"I Don't Love You"
he'd said.
It was all he could think to do, the only thing he could actually control when his death was so inescapable, lurking around every corner. To leave her without any burdens, any attachments to himself, because all it took was an unlucky moment for the strongest of warriors to fall.
And it tugged on her tongue, that plea of a child. But you said. You promised!
She thought to herself, Was I only a good lay? A tumble to pass the time?
But Petra was so smart, she knew. Knew that the brush of his fingers against hers whispered affection. The lingering gaze and the kiss in his office. Knew that he secretly liked it when she stayed the night in his room. That sometimes, when she faked slumber, he'd take a minute or two to watch her sleep, brushing the hair from her face. That for every moment he ignored her in the field, there would be a chance for them in private.
She waited, letting her patient heart blind her to the fact that for them there was no waiting. No waiting for love or a man or a happy ending. All they could do was die, fill up the minutes until their time ran out.
We're Not In Love
Still she smiled, laughed and followed, ever patient. Filling his mug and watching his six as if he'd never dared lie to her. The mission came first, of course.
When the mission is over, she thought. I can wait that long.
The only regret she carried over with her was that he never warned her he'd never press his mouth against hers again, so she could have savored that last kiss, remembered it better.
The angle of her neck brought bile to his throat. The break in her back burned in his heart. Like some new recruit Levi had counted on her survival.
But even then, it's alright. She didn't love me. Life goes on. She left nothing behind.
Her father's words cut like a blade, stunning him so badly he is stuck in place, the rest of the legion trotting past him.
"..don't want her to get married too soon…"
Married?
But We Were Not In Love
She Did Not Love Me
In the end, Levi was right about one thing.
Their lives were flashes of light in the sky. Blink and you miss it.
He blinked, and he missed her.