Forever and Always
Spring 24, Age 8
Dear Mommy:
Hi mommy! It's Gill. I miss you so much! I think Papa misses you a lot too. I can't believe it's been a week since we put your body in the ground near the church. I hope you're comfy down there. We get lots and lots of visitors to the house. They all bring us stuff. But Papa doesn't answer the door. He stays in his room all day. So I go greet the people. Miss Yolanda brings me breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day and sometimes throws a few snacks in the basket. Mrs. Barbara and Mr. Simon (you remember them, right?) brought over a lot of really nice framed pictures of you and our family. You look so pretty in all of them! I put them all up on the mantle (with a little help from Mr. Dale because I can't reach yet) and I just want to look at them all the time. But then I get sad. Because I miss you. The people are all very sad too. They cry sometimes when they talk to me. I don't like it when they do that, Mommy, because it makes me sad too!
After Miss Shelley asked if she could do my laundry and took some of my clothes to wash, Luke came over. He asked if I wanted to go play outside again. I told him I didn't feel like it when really deep down I just wanted to be by myself. He got mad at me and said that I was getting boring! He told me that I stay inside all day like a crybaby! So I pushed him down and I kicked him. Mr. Jake saw us from a distance and came running over. I started crying because of how mad at Luke I was and because I was scared I was gonna get in trouble. But Mr. Jake didn't yell at me. He told Luke to be very nice to me. He said that if I didn't want to play outside for a little while, that was ok. Then he made Luke apologize for calling me a baby and making me cry. I said I was sorry for pushing him down and kicking him. We hugged and now we're ok.
I don't see Papa at all. Sometimes when it's late at night and all the people stop coming to the house (Mrs. Ruth helps me get ready for bed and tucks me in at 8:00), I sneak into Papa's room to say goodnight to him. But I never can. He's always sitting on the bed facing the window with his back to me. He holds your fancy ring and cries really loud. So I just leave and get back in bed.
Ok this is a secret, but sometimes when I'm all by myself, I cry really really hard. But I do it very quietly so no one will know. I wanna look strong and brave. But I miss you so much, Mommy. The little Harvest Fairies are the only ones that see me cry so hard. If there was any way I could make you come back, I would. I hope you feel a lot better in Heaven than you did here on earth. I love you forever and always.
Your baby,
Gill