Tony would never admit it, never, but recently his luck with the ladies had run out, not a single date in three months and not so much as a touch from a member of the opposite sex in almost twice as long. To say he was "frustrated" would be a massive understatement. At this point, even the slightest breeze was enough to send a jolt through his body – he felt like a pubescent teen again dealing with the embarrassing arousals at least a few times a week.
And wouldn't you know, in the middle of the longest dry spell he'd experienced since his high school days, while he was sitting at his desk surrounded by coworkers and friends, two of the most beautiful women walked in wearing the most revealing and sensual dresses you'd ever seen – everything about them exuded sexiness. For the long-deprived Tony this was more than the slightest breeze, this was a full on gust and his body felt the jolt in every way possible. Tony was grateful that he was seated behind his desk as they walked in, otherwise he would have been in very uncomfortable position. As it was, the distraction in his pants was not all that comfortable, so he begin reciting the pledge of allegiance, picturing the most grotesque things he'd seen, and thinking of his grandmother to get it to go away, and after a minute or so his efforts paid off.
Tony knew, however, that he had to have some release, had to blow off some steam somehow, and so, during the lunch hour when he thought the building was pretty clear he made his way downstairs to the autopsy floor and snuck into the small bathroom just beside the elevator – he wouldn't be disturbed here. Tony was so deprived that he didn't need any forms of visual encouragement, in fact, he had become aroused on the way down the elevator. He quickly lowered his pants leaving him in only a pair of bulging white briefs and he soon got down to business.
Unfortunately for him, Tony had forgotten to lock the door, and only a few minutes into his task he was interrupted when Palmer swung open the door, unaware that the restroom was occupied.
"Oh…uh…umm…Tony!...I…ugh…I…" Palmer stammered, still standing in the open doorway.
"For godsake Jimmy, close the door!"
Palmer shut the door, but remained on the wrong side, in the restroom with a very exposed and embarrassed Tony Dinozzo who stared at him with wide eyes.
"Jimmy, why didn't you leave? What are you doing?"
"Palmer was still so shocked and embarrassed at the situation he had caused that he wasn't able to respond immediately, but after a few moments he looked up from Tony's lap – where his gaze had been concentrated – to his face. "Tony, I think the better question is what are you doing…well, I know what you're doing, I mean I do it too….not here….uh…well, you know what I mean….we're both guys with needs…umm…I mean….what are you doing Tony?"
"You said it yourself, Jimmy, I'm a man, I have needs, so if you'll excuse me, I think I'll just be on my way now," Tony responded as he stood up and pulled on his briefs and pants.
"Uh..Tony….don't you need to…uh…you know…finish?" Palmer asked rather innocently
"Well, it would have been nice, Jimmy, but I guess I can't now."
"Don't stop on my account Tony, I won't tell anyone."
"I'm certainly not about to start up again with you in here though, besides, I don't know if I'd even be able to since the interruption."
"Gee, I'm sorry Tony, I didn't mean to, you know, cause you any trouble, it's just, the door was unlocked, and I was coming in to use the restroom, I had no idea," Palmer looked at Tony in sorrow.
"Jimmy, don't beat yourself up, I shouldn't have been in here, it's just been a while for me and things got a little steamy in the bullpen today, I was just trying to relieve some tension."
"Tony…how…uh…how would you feel about some help?"
"What are you talking about, Jimmy?" Tony asked.
"Well, you know, since I interrupted an all, I figure I owe it to you to help you out," Palmer took a few steps toward Tony.
"I don't know, Jimmy, I'm not really into that kind of stuff."
"You don't have to be, just let me help you out, otherwise, I'll feel really bad about all of this," Palmer sank to his knees and removed the pants and briefs Tony was wearing.
"Uhhh…Jimmy…if we're going to do this, why don't we lock the door this time."