First of all I would like to give a virtual Yellow Hippo that holds a card that says "Thank you for being my fantastic Beta for this" to Kristi (tukct81). Thank you if it weren't for you I wouldn't be brave enough to publish this

Anyway ;) Here's my first chapter, I hope you like it. And please review positively or negatively. Good criticism makes a better writer . And I think I can improve as I have inspiring writers such as Cher Sue to look up to :D Thanks for reading.

How did I get here?

Ok.. so this should be fun…. Here I am doing probably the most stupid thing anyone has ever done in the history of having an evil doppelganger, but then again no one else had Katherine Pierce to deal with. She's something isn't she? An evil slut vampire who only loved herself as Damon puts it.

So this is me, brave, crazy little Elena, swapping places with none other than Katherine Pierce. What makes it even more crazy is that I'm orchestrating this to go see … wait for it .. Damon Salvatore. Yes I did just quote Barney Stinson. I guess being a vampire gave me a lot of free time to watch HIMYM . And again, yes I did use the abbreviation. What? I already said I had too much time on my hands…When you feel as numb as I feel nothing takes too much time; not vampire training, not talking and certainly not having sex with Stefan. Any joy I used to get out of any of those things simply vanished through thin air as I transitioned. Specially since everybody thinks I'm pushing them away when I say that I don't wanna talk. They don't get that I don't want to do anything at all. I thought I felt dead before when my parents died, but this is worse, much worse. I really feel dead. And I don't just mean literally.

I bet you that 47 days ago I would have never thought I would be agreeing to this but you see… 45 days can change your whole life. If that's what I can call mine .. a life. 47 days ago I woke up in to find Stefan saying that he's sorry for everything and explaining to me that I was ..well .. dead but not really… long story short, I was in transition. Into a vampire in case that wasn't clear. Well, when I transitioned I had issues at first with me being the doppelganger. My body was rejecting the transition and I could only feed from the vein, which resulted in a very awkward make-out session with Stefan in the woods which ended up with me throwing up animal blood. Romantic huh? This led to endless fights between the Salvatores which ended up in Damon leaving town because we .. umm .. we kinda shared blood or blood-shared, I'm not really sure what it's called. Saying that Stefan was mad would be the understatement of the century. And Damon.. well Damon is Damon and by that I mean angry, hurt and not willing to admit it until he lashed out which he did. But this time he just …. Left.

He's gone… and I haven't seen him for four weeks.

Some how when Damon left he took my fire –as Caroline puts it- with him… my life with him, he probably took something else that I don't want to admit with him as well. And I'm not talking about my teddy bear. Which he took for … some reason

Where does Katherine fit in all this? Well she didn't, until 2 weeks ago. Katherine came back strutting like she owned the place looking for Stefan because she thought Klaus was dead and they could live happily ever after. But then we filled her in on the Klaus/Tyler high jinks. But that wasn't the fun part, I really enjoyed how disappointed she looked when she saw me; she thought I was dead, then turns out I wasn't only not dead but also a vampire which meant she had one hell of a competition to win Stefan's heart. But that opportunity diminished when she tried to kill the competition and everyone tried to stop her, then she and Stefan bickered and bickered and I kind of tuned out.. I actually tuned out a lot after he left.

Most of the time our little gang was doing research about my condition. While most vampires get their senses heightened when they turn but not me, at least not anymore, but then I guess I never did get that perk

When I first turned, I was so overwhelmed by the heightened senses: smell, taste, touch ..etc .. that I didn't realize how completely and utterly numb I felt inside . It was like I didn't have a heart anymore. When one of my friends was in danger I wasn't scared. It was like my head was programmed to take an action and save them because that was what had to be done. Every so often I would get a glimpse of feeling something; when Caroline was acting annoying and sweet at the same time reminding me of what our friendship was like. When Stefan would tell me he would do anything for me or when Katherine would bitch about how none of the Salvatores really loved me and it was always going to be her. How ironic was that statement? I said it so any times but it lost its meaning. It doesn't hold the certainty it held before. Not because it is not always going to be Stefan and not because it is going to be someone else. But simply, because I didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered, no one mattered.

But how did I get here? I have NO idea. Was it when Damon left like Caroline thinks? Was it when Stefan and I had sex and I only felt the physical part of it? Or was it when I stopped smiling, crying and everything in between? I will probably never know how I went from a human to a transitioning vampire with heightened senses to a vampire with no feeling, no heart, no life.

But why I did have to switch places with Katherine? It was all Caroline actually. She planned the whole thing. No one would believe that I really wanted to go find Damon just to feel. And they had the right to worry since I wanted to feel something before by taking my daylight ring off and trying to run in a field of sunlight and rainbows. Ever since then everybody was sure I had gotten crazy and honestly I think I might actually be. Since I agreed with Caroline to skip town and go find Damon. You know why she suddenly switched teams since she obviously had a 'team Stelena' shirt at home. Well… it might have something to do with what I told her about the only time I actually felt something was when Damon and I shared blood , I mean blood-shared. She knew that my choice had nothing to do with not-loving Damon, which I don't by the way, I think, but had everything to do with what's right. But I lost my right/wrong senses about four weeks ago.

Katherine was all for it considering how much she 'loves' Stefan, and she'll get a chance to pretend to be the good doppelganger. I wasn't jealous; I wasn't feeling manipulative, which I totally was, frankly? All I felt was that I couldn't give a fuck what anyone does with anyone else. I had something now… Hope. Hope that I can find my self again if I find him. Because , obviously, for some reason we were connected. Maybe it had something to with him being my 'sire' or whatever. I don't know. All I know is it all stopped when he left and I am not stopping till I find out why.

So here I am, at the door of his apartment in California. I knocked. Once. Twice. And waited ….. was he even here? Maybe I got the address wrong. But then I hear something .. someone.. OH DEAR GOD HE IS HERE. Suddenly, I doubt my plan. It's a stupid plan. Why would he make me feel something if even Stefan couldn't? This would only end tragically, for both of us. It was over. He left town. And I let him go. Why was I here? Leaving Katherine with my friends and Jeremy at mystic falls pretending to be me while I search for my fire with Damon. HOW STUPID WAS THAT? Oh dear God I should go. Okay here I~~

Then the door opened

He's here….