Jordan: I've recently discovered my love for Adam/Dean, and Adam in general, so ya'know...
I do not own Supernatural.
Another day, another time that Adam found himself crouched on the same old boulder, looking out over the same old frozen lake, under the same old blue sky, thinking about the same old thing. And just as usual, that same old thing seemed to materialize in front of him.
"What are you thinking about baby brother?" Dean Winchester sat next to him, but Adam just pushed him away.
"Dean, I'm not a fucking child. I'm 19." He walked towards the water and crossed his arms in annoyance, "That's all you ever do, you treat me like I'm fucking 4 years old. I'm sick of it." He could feel his eyes stinging with unshed tears, but he held them back and stared across the ice.
"Adam. Dude, chill." Dean walked over and stood next to him. He placed his arm on Adam's shoulder.
Adam pushed him away, and moved back to his rock. "Just leave me alone Dean." But Dean moved over and grabbed his wrist.
"Never." Their eyes met, and for a moment, Adam thought that he saw something, but he turned away, "Adam, look at me." Adam's eyes remained at his feet. "Adam, you little fuck, look at me."
Instead, Adam just looked at his wrist. "Dean, you're hurting me. Let go." He tried to move his wrist, but Dean's hand wouldn't budge.
"Not until you look at me." His voice cracked slightly, and Adam finally looked up to realize that Dean was crying too. And suddenly, Adam could feel Dean's hand let go of his wrist, and Dean's arms around him. "Adam, I love you."
"Dean….. Just go." He sniffled quietly, and his gaze returned over the calm lake as he flipped a stone over the slick surface.
"But Adam, I don't want to leave you." Dean's eyes stayed upon the motionless figure of his younger brother.
"Dean, just go, I already know that this isn't real. It's a dream, all you are is a piece of my imagination, a wish that won't come true." Tears were streaming down his face as he looked up at Dean.
"How do you know it's a dream? Why can't this be reality Adam? Why can't it just be us?" Their eyes stayed locked.
"Because it's always a dream. It's never reality, and it's never going to be just us, because it just doesn't work like that. Because I fucking love you, but I know that it's never gonna happen. Because Dean, I'm a sick fuck, and because all this is, and will always be is a fucking dream." His voice kept cracking. His eyes turned red with the tears streaming.
"But Adam." He tried to start a sentence.
"No Dean. Just stop. Just fucking stop." His head fell into his hands, quietly sobbing.
Dean's hand found it's way onto his little brother's shoulder. "But this doesn't feel like a dream. It feels real to me. And besides, even if it is a dream, why can't we just be together? Just for this short time that we can have."
"Dean. Do you realize how painful it is to fall asleep in someone's arms and wake up only to realize that those arms weren't real? Do you know how painful it is to feel lips on yours, then wake up; still feeling a ghost of that feeling? No Dean, you wouldn't." He just stood up and ran. He ran until his legs fell from under him. His face crunching into the freshly fallen snow. "You couldn't just leave me alone." He whispered to nobody.
It wasn't long before he could hear Dean's footsteps behind him. "Adam, you're such a dumbfuck." He whispered as he picked his brother up out of the snow. "Why can't you just accept it?"
"D-Dean." Adam whispered softly as his eyes fluttered closed.
Dean carried him slowly to the car and strapped him in, driving slowly over the icy roads. Arriving at the empty cabin that they had broken into. He carried him into a bedroom, and placed him onto the bed, stripping them both down, and laying next to him. Just as Adam's eyes began to drift open. "Dean, what are you doing?"
He jumped from the bed, but Dean followed him up and pinned him against the wall. "Adam, why can't we just make the most of this?"
"Dean." He paused before leaning forward and pressing his lips to Dean's. "I just can't hold back anymore."
"Good, that makes this much easier." And with one blink, Dean's eyes blackened, and he threw Adam back onto the bed, however, it wasn't a bed anymore. He was pressed upon a stone table, fire burning around him as he suddenly remembered the truth.
He was in Hell.
His own personal Hell.
A Hell where each time, when he finally believed that Dean was his, he was thrown back onto the black stone to be tortured by his own dreams. And when it was over, he would still be on that stone. But soon it wouldn't be the same stone.
Because suddenly it would all change, and it would be another day, another time that Adam found himself crouched on the same old boulder, looking out over the same old frozen lake, under the same old blue sky, thinking about the same old thing. And just as usual, that same old thing would seem to materialize in front of him, and thus, the cycle would continue.
It takes an hour (if I'm lucky) to write this little bit, I'd appreciate a review.