A/N - This is the sequel to my first Bond story, 'The Eureka project'. I would recommend reading that first for this to make sense.
Q's trembling hand hovered over the call symbol; his eyes flicked to to the time and saw it was the middle of the night. He had developed a bout of insomnia and had real problems trying to sleep these days. His mind flashed with unwanted images which made Q's decision for him, he needed to hear that he was okay. He pressed the button firmly and held the phone to his ear, already regretting the action but knowing he had to do this. He had promised he would after all.
Two rings until the phone was answered. "Hello, I'm here."
Q released the pent up tension and smiled genuinely when he heard the familiar voice. He could relax now that he knew his nightmare had been just that, Mallory was alive and well.
"I didn't wake you did I?" Q asked guiltily as his gaze swept over London at night from his flat window.
Q heard someone shift on the other end of the line followed by a warm chuckle. "It wouldn't have mattered if you did, you know our agreement. But no, I was already up."
The agreement that M spoke of was something that the pair had been bullied into by Bond and Moneypenny. It was clear after the traumatic events of their kidnapping that they were both going to suffer repercussions for some time. One of those repercussions became apparent when Q had panic attacks after a flashback episode; when he couldn't get a hold of or see that Mallory was alright. They had been manageable when they shared a hospital room but not once they were separated. Q and M had shared an incredibly damaging experience so it was no wonder they were having separation issues, all it took now was to hear the other's voice to alleviate concerns of death.
Q knew it wasn't healthy, hell his therapist had said as much but he couldn't help or stop the anxiety attack by himself. Even James had failed to get through to him the first time it happened. He had felt like he was drowning again, unable to get his breath his panicked eyes had darted for familiarity and only saw images of John… He had soon passed out after the lack of oxygen caused his body to shut down. When he woke he was met by several worried faces and was soon whisked back towards trained medics.
The agreement was born after Q got checked out; he and M had been living at home recovering for three weeks now. The nightmares were usually a daily occurrence and even though Q hated calling the first few times he had to admit the panic subsided as soon as M picked up the phone, M had even called the quartermaster once or twice. They were both struggling. Q imagined his reactions were more severe because he actually watched M die, he had those memories. Each time Q woke in alarm from the nightmares he would make his way out to the kitchen, make a cup of early grey and dial M. The amount of time it took for him to calm down from the effects of the attack had lessened over time, but the guilt over waking Mallory up had not.
M had argued that it was far more important that Q got real rest over M's sleep, after all Q was the one searching endlessly for the mole. It became quite clear after a few hours of working on the search that the mole was technically complement, this pushed the task of catching the mole firmly into Q's hands. Bond, Mallory nor Moneypenny had any chance with computers. He, M and James had agreed to let Eve in on the mole within MI6.
They were loathe to tell another person but they all agreed that they trusted Moneypenny with their lives, that and it had become clear that the mole knew his existence had been discovered. James could look after Q full time away from the office and so they needed somebody to cover M's back. Mallory hadn't been happy with the suggestion at first but eventually relented when he realised it was happening whether he liked or not, Eve moved in that night so Q and M had constant backup. It's not like M and Q had been fully recovered then either, they just didn't want to be sitting ducks within MI6 and had frankly become sick of being in the sterile medical room.
Three weeks later Q found his movements less stiff, he still had dressings over the majority of his chest and his ribs would take some time to heal but the pain from moving reduced each day. He was slowly healing. Mallory's recovery had been slower, M had lung problems and a horrible rattling in his chest when he breathed for a week. The sustained drowning sessions were to blame, it was even touch and go for a while if the liquid would clear before pneumonia set in. M had gotten lucky though and the wheezing had reduced to almost nothing if he didn't have to speak a lot.
Q had been able to get back to work far sooner, much to the chagrin of James, as all he needed was access to a laptop to get started. They had argued it out for a while before James grudgingly admitted that they wouldn't be safe until the mole was found and the quickest way to do that was for Q to get going.
The quartermaster had started erecting specific security traps around sensitive files so that he would be notified if a pattern was noticed internally, after setting all the traps he was disappointed to find that no-one was going any where near classified information. They quickly deduced that the mole knew he was being monitored, either by being told or by coming across one of Q's traps and not setting it off. Q spent a week improving the security around all files and once satisfied realised that he wouldn't find the mole this way. He was too clever to walk directly into the line of fire.
The benefit of the traps however was that not only could the mole not get new information without being found out, he also couldn't erase any past mistakes or trails. Q took on the difficult job of trawling back through years and years of data, hoping to find something that the mole had slipped up on when he hadn't been so careful. It was slow progress but Q felt he was getting close, so much so that he hated it every time James forcibly dragged him away from work to sleep. The last thing he wanted to do was sleep; when he slept all he saw was horror.
Q was startled out of his thoughts when M spoke up, they had been connected in silence for a few minutes whilst Q's anxiety levels dropped. "Do you want to talk about it?"
No.
Q never wanted to talk about it; he would rather the whole thing was blotted from his mind but that wasn't going to happen any time soon. He decided to be honest this time. "Not really."
He closed his eyes and revelled in the sound of Mallory's gentle laughter fill his ear. He was glad then that he had made the phone call, his chest was no longer tight and his breathing was normal. Anxiety attack averted.
"Maybe I should have someone check on you, honesty isn't usually your first instinct."
Q smiled, M was not wrong. He had been a bloody nightmare with his therapist he was aware. If Q had his way he wouldn't have a therapist but it was mandatory, even James had insisted on the meetings.
A sudden noise in the kitchen had Q on edge again; he whipped round towards the sound startled. His eyes found James and he immediately let the tension leave his body, and it was then he heard Mallory's urgent calls over the phone.
"Q? Are you alright?"
"Sorry M, it's just James. He startled me." Q smiled warmly as the agent mouthed an apology and continued with his task to make two cup's of tea.
Every night Q retreated to the living room. James would give it 5 minutes and then follow and ensure Q was doing okay, the first couple of times Bond had almost given Q a heart attack by unknowingly sneaking up on the pre-occupied quartermaster. He was frighteningly aware that James could sneak up on him without him ever hearing, especially after an anxiety attack when his mind was distant. James now made sure to make as much as noise as he could all the way from the bedroom to the kitchen, the last thing he wanted to do was actually have to touch Q to get his attention; that had ended disastrously the first time.
Q realised he must have been really out of it if James had managed to get all the way to the kitchen and was making them both tea before he heard anything, he was a tad jumpy tonight.
"Thank him for almost giving me a heart attack." Mallory dead-panned; Q could pick up the relief in his friend's voice.
Q continued to watch as James made their drinks and caught his partner's eye. "Oh I will M."
James picked up on the dangerous tone immediately and straightened up looking directly at Q, he recognised the promise in Q's words. A smirk spread over the agent's face only proving to infuriate his quartermaster even further. That bloody smirk.
He watched fondly as James picked up the cups and joined Q on the sofa silently, happy to just offer his presence as support. Q appreciated the company, it's the final touch that drives off the demons in his mind. Q takes the proffered cup and sipped on the perfectly made drink, Bond had really perfected the blend. It was still strange seeing James here every night, the pair had been in a relationship of sorts but they still had separate flats. They had never thought of living together and now that they did Q wondered why they didn't do this months ago. Bond had moved all of his stuff in immediately after the threat on Q's life, he imagined the agent wouldn't leave even after the threat was dealt with. The quartermaster hoped he was right as he had grown used to James living with him, he liked it.
Q was drawn back to the phone in his hand as he heard clattering on the other end. "Are you alone?"
"No Eve is with me, she makes tea." Came the instant reply.
Q smiled at the information, he and Mallory had two very astute agents. Whenever he or M were on the phone, Bond would always appear at the right moment and make tea. Suddenly a suspicious thought crossed his mind and he glanced over at Bond who met his scrutinising gaze with an innocent smile. Were Eve and Bond coordinating them?
"Do you think Eve and Bond coordinate?" He kept his eyes on James who didn't give anything away, the agent continued smiling innocently and sipped his tea in silence.
"It's entirely possible." Mallory conceded after some thought.
Q looked from James' tea to his own and a worrying thought raced through his mind. "What if they drug the tea?"
James burst out laughing and ended up spilling his own drink down his sleep top, Q heard Malory's bark of laughter from the phone as well. His paranoia disappeared as he too started laughing at his own crazy thoughts, he put it down to lack of sleep.
When M had gotten control of his outburst he replied. "Q, that's a bit far-fetched even for you."
Q smirked as James scowled at the spillage, he watched happily as the agent fetched a tea towel to clean up the impromptu mess. "Perhaps…"
Mallory clearly caught the lack of seriousness in his tone and left the conversation there. Q's eyes flicked to the clock and winced as he realised how little sleep he had gotten so far, the bags under his eyes were a permanent feature these days. He was just so damn tired. He realised that M was waiting on him, another one of their rules. Whoever initiated the phone call had to end it, that way the other would know when things were okay to leave.
"I'll see you tomorrow M."
"Take care Q." Came the immediate reply.
Q ended the call and reached for the remainder of his tea, not before throwing a suspicious glance at James who had settled next to him again. Bond only smiled when he saw the glare and shook his head in amusement. The pair sat in companionable silence as they both finished their drinks, Q felt his eyes drooping as he drained the cup.
Bond didn't miss the sign. "Do you want to come back to bed?"
Q closed his eyes painfully at the thought, he actually feared going to sleep now. Every night without fail he would have horrible nightmares and flashbacks, he was terrified of losing control and to be frank didn't want to relive his torment if he could help it. It was just a pain that the body needed so much sleep, he felt exhausted and run down as it was.
He fought down the irrational panic over the thought of mere sleep. "I don't think I can face sleep at the moment."
Q opened his eyes to look at James, expecting pity or a similar expression. Bond had a smirk plastered over his face however, "Who said anything about sleep?"
The quartermaster's eyebrows rose in disbelief, James could be a randy git sure but it was the last thing Q had been expecting. He smiled when he recognised Bond's attempts to take his mind off his fears. "You're unbelievable you know?"
James gaze softened. "I know."
The agent pulled Q into a sideways hug, Q found himself leaning into the comfort without really thinking about it. Leaning against James' chest he felt himself relax as he heard the steady heartbeat, it distracted him from his dark memories. Q felt his eyes begin to close again and James clearly felt his muscles weaken so he manoeuvred himself to help Q up. "Come on lets get you to bed, we can talk if you don't want to sleep."
Q allowed himself to be lifted upwards and leaned against the solid support as James lead them to the safety of the bedroom. "Thank you, James."
A/N - Until next time...