A/N: I mostly did these out of boredom, and the need to write something other than What If You.
This is dedicated to Marsy (Tell Her This) because she puts up with me never knowing what to do next with What If You (honestly half the storyline for that has come from her) and we have awesome, if random, conversations along the way. Also because it's her birthday on Saturday, hence the number of drabbles. :D
Disclaimer: I do not own Scrubs, or any of the songs used. They belong to Bill Lawrence and respective artists/record companies. This is just for funsies.
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son, fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
I Will Follow You Into The Dark – Death Cab For Cutie
The young Perry Cox walked out of his Sunday Catholic School frowning and mentally cursing his teacher. Paige loved that place, he, on the other hand, didn't.
It wasn't that he hated doing extra work on a Sunday, in fact he couldn't care less about that, he wanted to be a doctor after all. He had to get used to hard work. It was that he hated what he was being taught. How God was so forgiving and loved everyone equally. Perry found that hard to believe. If he loved everyone equally why did he have to walk home to a father who beat him senseless and a mother who sat in the corner and watched soundlessly?
In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
Let's play pretend
Act like it comes naturally
Family Portrait – Pink
Elliot Reid sat on her bed staring blankly at the family portrait hung on her wall. It was formal; everyone was dressed well with their hair done smartly.
Everyone was smiling happily at the camera. They actually looked genuinely happy. Her father wasn't looking disappointedly down at her and her mother wasn't fussing with her hair, telling her she'd look prettier if she wore it this way, or telling her not to eat any of this food because it makes you fat and you'll never manage to get married if you're fat.
Clearly her mother didn't think anyone could love her just for her, not for what she looked like. If she was perfectly honest she didn't think that either.
So she looked at her family portrait, and pretended that happy family was what hers was like every day.
Seems my own arrogance has knocked me off my feet again
When you know I'm crawling to you as fast as I can
First teach me to walk
And then I'll learn to dance for you
Like an honest clumsy clown
Tripping along the way
Fool – Lifehouse
This was a new experience for Dr. Cox. Deep romantic feelings for another person were something he'd always considered as a great sign of weakness. Not to mention the fact he'd decided a long time ago he simply didn't have time for a serious relationship. That was a distraction he didn't need.
Yet now he's come to Sacred Heart and met Jordan. She was strong and independent, and although he hated it, he'd been caught off guard. His feelings for her were much stronger than anything he was used to, and he's become a complete fool for her.
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
Iris – Goo Goo Dolls
Perry Cox turned off the heart monitor. His patient, Mr. Gilmore, was dead. He waited for the feeling of grief to wash over him, the feeling of guilt that he could have spent more time with this patient.
It didn't come. Somehow he knew it never would.
At the end of the day, this patient was a vegetable, a potato. There was nothing he could do and Perry knew it.
Everyone has their time when they stop caring about patients like that, when they stop wasting their time trying to save lives that can't be saved. And Perry's had finally come.
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss
Mr. Brightside – The Killers
JD lay next to his sleeping best friend, he glanced left at the clock. It read 2:33 am. He didn't know quite how he'd ended up here. He remembered apologizing; he remembered her asking if he'd ever slept with her, he remembered saying no, then asking why that was important.
Then everything changed, his feelings for her erupted as she pulled him into a kiss, which he joined in with after the second long shock had worn off. Within what seemed a moment they were collapsing onto his bed. Lips touching, hands roaming. He loved it, he couldn't deny that, and he loved her. He just had to get ready to face the consequences tomorrow. Oh my God he's slept with his best friend.
I have, I have, you breathing down my neck, breathing down my neck
I don't, don't know, what you could possibly expect under this condition
Dark Blue – Jack's Mannequin
JD had been at Sacred Heart for a few weeks now. He was learning fast, all the small things he found so difficult at first had become second nature. And he had his own mentor, Dr. Perry Cox. Who berated him and called him girl's names, but JD didn't mind. Dr. Cox would realize he was his mentor soon enough.
Then a new patient was rushed into the ICU, he'd been in a car accident and had to be intubated immediately. Dr. Cox handed the intubator straight to JD. And JD froze, he'd never done this procedure on a live person before and now Dr. Cox expected him to do it in a life or death situation? Dr. Cox waited a moment before snatching it off JD. JD was just another incompetent intern to him.
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
They tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces to every time
Bad Day – Daniel Powter
Elliot's life had completely fallen apart. Her father had completely cut her off, just because she told him she didn't want to be a gyno girl and have to look at bajingo after bajingo after bajingo. Then she lost her apartment, had a patient suing her and had her truck stolen.
She could cope with the odd bad day, everyone had them, but recently nothing seemed to be going her way. She just couldn't grab a handhold, or any other kind of hold over anything for that matter.
But tonight we'll leave
All our lovers behind
And try to live a quiet life
My love is dressing me like a clown
Dress Me Like A Clown – Margot and the Nuclear So and So's
JD's eyes widened slightly as he realized what Elliot pausing to run her hands through his hair meant. Then he put down his beer and moved his face slowly closer to hers. She did the same.
Before he knew it they were rolling around on his bed. Again. They'd been here a thousand times before, he told himself this time it would be different. He loved her. Maybe she loved him to. Then one word ruined his mood. Sean. Elliot loved Sean, her perfect boyfriend. Yet she was here, with him, her far from perfect friend. He told himself that just tonight they'd leave everything else behind, and just be with each other.
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
The Blower's Daughter – Damien Rice
Everything had fallen to pieces. She'd had the perfect boyfriend, and she'd left him, for a guy she genuinely thought loved her, and she loved, no matter how much she tried to bury those feelings.
She'd thought it would be perfect; he would be 'the one.' Sadly that had lasted all of one day. Now she was lying in bed, the man who broke her heart lying in the next room. 'I don't love you.' The four words that had ripped through her like tiny shards of glass replaying over and over in her head. Hurting her more each time.
She had to get used to it. There was no hero for her who could make everything better, all the hurt she felt go away.
No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
Stop This Train – John Mayer
JD knew the world wasn't fair, he knew that it was always the nice guy who deserved to live that died and the old guy that couldn't care less about whether or not he ever got to see the sun rise again that lived. But this. This was beyond unfair.
Four people had died. And no matter what Dr. Cox thought no one was to blame. Every even half decent doctor would have called for those organs to be transplanted in a second. Only an idiot would waste time by calling to test for that. Rabies? That always seemed like one of those illnesses that you hear about but never think you'll ever have to deal with.
Yet they'd had to deal with it. And four people had died and one doctor was at home trying to drink himself to death. It was unfair.
He's everything you want he's everything you need
He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be
He says all the right things, at exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
Everything You Want – Vertical Horizon
Out of every other situation Elliot had ever been in, she hated this one the most. She was engaged to a man who loved her so much. Who would walk through fire for her. Yet she still had these huge doubts about marrying him, Carla told it was cold feet, and she told herself the same, but something at the back of her mind told her that isn't what this is at all.
She didn't love Keith, no matter how hard she tried she couldn't make herself truly love him. The saying 'you can't force love' came into her mind. She'd never realized how true it is, before now. Keith was everything she'd ever wanted, but she just didn't love him.
'Cause you will be somebody's girl
And you will keep each other warm
But tonight I am feeling cold
The Secret's In The Telling – Dashboard Confessional
Something in the back of JD's head told him this was wrong. Told him he should pull away from this and get the hell out of here. While he still had the willpower to do it.
But he knew he wouldn't, because it came down to this: he was in love with the woman who lay next to him now, the one engaged to a man he hated, not the one sat at home, waiting with that half glass of wine she's allowed every night.
The woman next to him would never be his, he knew that, but maybe just for tonight he could pretend.
When the future's architectured
By a carnival of idiots on show
You'd better lie low
Violet Hill – Coldplay
Sacred Heart had a new batch of interns. Again. And they were all idiots. Again.
Perry Cox shouldn't be surprised, he'd been here long enough to know that all new interns were scared little kids who didn't have a clue what working in a hospital was actually like.
They all thought life in a hospital was like on some TV show, all the nurses looked like models and all the patients were easily cured. In the end everything got better and some voiceover narrative neatly wrapped up all the storylines.
Yet when as he had once said they are 'the future of the hospital' he had to wonder how this place ever kept going?
Just say I want you, just exactly like I used to
Cause baby this is only bringing me down
I Want You – Kings of Leon
JD and Elliot were sat at this strange Coffee Bucks, after Dr. Kelso's 'it's nice to see you two dating again' comment. Two people, one blonde, one brunet, in their own little world.
Both were silent for several moments, just staring at each other, both working up the courage to speak.
Eventually JD broke the silence, asking if Elliot wanted him to go first. Elliot nodded, thankful that she didn't have to admit her feelings first.
JD took a deep breath, trying to calm the nerves about voicing his thoughts. "Elliot, I'm still crazy about you."
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
Viva La Vida – Coldplay
Bob Kelso found all this weird. Having to sit in Coffee Bucks watched life at Sacred Heart move by.
He was used to being the one making all the decisions and calling all the shots. Doing all the paperwork and getting all the hateful glares. Now he had to sit back and watch Dr. Cox take over. Take charge over Dr. Dorian and Dr. Reid, Nurse Espinosa and her husband Turkelton. Attempt to deal with the Janitor's antics.
Even though he stuck around, trying to hold onto the hospital that he had ruled over for so many years he could feel it all slipping away. He was becoming just another powerless face in a place he used to own.
To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I almost do
Run – Snow Patrol
JD stood at the doors to Sacred Heart, for the last time. Working here anyway, he knew he would still visit but this was the end of a massive era in his life, nothing could ever be the same. He'd grown from a scared little intern who was too afraid to touch anyone to the confident doctor he was now here. He'd laughed here, cried here, loved here, hated here. Gone through so many make ups and break ups. For 8 years Sacred Heart had been his second home. Now he was leaving.
He saw everyone gathered at the nurse's station to wave him off, many were crying, and he knew Dr. Cox was holding back his tears. As he walked out of the doors he let the tears he'd been trying to hold back slide down his face.
You stand before me surrounded by lights.
Dressed in white.
You threw flowers in the air, this night.
You Got Growing Up To Do – Joshua Radin
JD waited nervously at the altar for the music to begin. When, after what seemed a lifetime, it did, he turned on his legs, which were now shaking violently.
As soon as he the woman walking down the aisle all the nerves vanished, replaced by love, and happiness that this was finally happening.
Sun shone brightly through the window, surrounding her in light, making her blonde hair and white dress shine. She grinned nervously at him and he grinned back. Carla was standing at the other side of the altar looking at Elliot with her 'I knew I was right' look on her face. Everything had finally worked out, and JD couldn't be happier.