Summary: One day, Renji wakes up in the Human world with his memories lost. Deciding to start his life anew, he practically gave up on ever getting his memories back, until one day an old flame appeared before him, giving Renji hope once more.

Pairing: ShuuRen

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: weirdness/abstractness – not much description, mentions of Renji/OC, possible confusion.

Author's Note: It's not going to be a long one, since this was originally supposed to be a oneshot, so I think it's gonna have two parts to it as a total.

The idea came to me at random. Not sure if it was already used or not, but... Here it is anywayz.

Disclaimer: Do not own Bleach.

Chapter One: Waking Up

Eyes fluttered open, revealing deep brown, blinking a couple of times, getting used to the light of the room.

Staring at the white ceiling, the man slowly regained his senses as he sat up. He looking around the room, full of old and typical bedroom furniture, without recognizing it at all...

But that was not what bothered the man most. Raising his hands, he wondered why they were covered in tattoos...or rather, why he himself was completely covered in them. Red catching his eye, he took hold of his own hair, wondering why it was red. Was it...dyed?

...but the most frightening part was...he remembered nothing. Zero. At all.

Who...was he?..

Noticing a mirror in the far corner of the room, the redhead rose to his feet and made his way there. Strangely, he remembered and understood basic things, just... Not the things he wanted to understand and remember. Things that really mattered.

Looking himself over in the mirror, he stood in only his pants, he didn't know the face staring right back at him. Turning in all directions, the man looked over his foreign body and... Understood nothing.

And for some reason, he was not at all panicking. The redhead had a feeling that the fact he couldn't remember anything was for the best, something that was done to save him.

But that was all he had. And he was not at all satisfied.

The door to the room suddenly creaked open, revealing a young lady with died blond hair, only slightly taller than a half of the man's high, her body thin, with bright dark brown eyes, who was carrying a tray with a teapot and a cup. Noticing the man was awake, she bowed, "Thank goodness you seem to be well," it was noticeable she was relieved as she made her way into the room, setting the tray on the desk, "You were found collapsed on the streets near our house. The doctor said you were well physically. Are you?"

"...S-sure..." the reply came so naturally and he understood the language. Everything was okay, except that he didn't remember anything. For once, why did he collapse on the streets? Where was his home? Did he have relatives?.. Gods, this was... Too much.

Because of trying to remember so hard, the redhead's head stated pounding and he couldn't help but crouch over from the pain. It felt like a thousand hammers were hitting his head... And at that second, he really wished for death for the pain was excruciatingly unbearable.

"Sir, are you alright?!" he female was by his side in an instant, looking him over, fear visible on her face.

After a couple of painful minutes, the pain started to fade away and the tattooed man sighed in relief, turning to the blonde with a light smile on his face, "I'm fine. Thank you."

"...A-ah... You talk without an accent!" the woman exclaimed staring at the man before her as if he grew another head, "...b-but... You have such foreign features..."

The redhead blinked at her, slightly confused, but didn't say more.

"Oh, I... I'm sorry for my insolence," she bowed, "My name is Aiko Kimiko. But you can just call me Aiko," the woman smiled lightly.

"What a lovely name..." the man commented, wishing he could remember his own name so he could introduce himself to such a nice lady more properly, but he decided to go with what came to mind first, "The name's Andy and I remember nothing. Nice to meet you."

"Oh! So you are a foreigne-" and Aiko stopped with her exclamation as what Andy said next finally hit her thoughts, "...what do you mean you remember nothing?"

Andy sighed and looked back at himself in the mirror, "I lost all of my memories."

After that, at least a month passed by as Andy, the man with no memories, tried to get used to society again. Everything he did came to him naturally, be it helping around the house, going out or simply reading a book. Absolutely everything was known to him, any task at all...although he struggled a bit when it came to technology, but he got a hang of the gizmos easy enough. And he was sometimes himself surprised about all this, since it was more than strange to do everything naturally without a freaking bit of memory in your head... But he was starting to get used to it, used to having no memories. Andy wanted to get his memories back, but the more he lived in this house, the more he started to think... It really didn't matter. He could start anew or something...right?

But he still had that nagging feeling in his gut, telling him he was forgetting something important...

For whatever reason, Aiko was a very kind woman. As it turns out, she was actually in her mid-twenties, some prestigious university's student, working a part-time job in a cafe she used to frequent as a client before. She said that nothing much stood out in her life and that it has always been peaceful. Aiko lived with her grandfather, the only other resident in the house. It seems her parents passed away when she was very little, so she never knew them. Her only relative and the one who raised her was the old man, whose name Andy couldn't memorize for the death of him, but he grew to like the old geezer, who seemed to read a lot, so he could speak of many entertaining things. The old man also liked walks in the park, watching children playing there, talking about his younger years of life. Andy really grew to like the man instantaneously.

This new, peaceful life was great, actually. Soon, he would find himself a job, not yet sure if he could find one with all of the tattoos adorning his body, but pay his fair share of living expenses. Maybe even get it on with Aiko. Why not? She was a rather lovely woman. Andy had no idea what type he preferred before his memory loss, but he was going to make her his new type.

Andy also got himself some new clothes. Aiko laughed, saying he looked like a villain from a movie, but... She had to admit, the clothes Andy got himself suited him, from the black jacket to ripped jeans and leather boots. And a shirt that said, "Do I look like I give a damn, punk?"

Well, it wasn't what Andy's personality held, at least not what the redhead himself thought, but it felt like these clothes worked for him, strangely.

Everything was going smoothly. Until one single event that would change his new peaceful existence.

Since a few days now, a man started appearing at the gate entrance to the house. He never walked in, only stood there, watching. The man was clad in a dark...what looked liked to be a... yukata of sorts, or something, Andy had no idea, since it was the first time he saw anyone wear something like that. The man had dark hair, striking features and... Were these tattoos on his face and arms? For whatever case, he looked like a rock star from a cover of some magazine that Andy has seen before. Definitely not much out of the ordinary, except for maybe a sword at his side. Maybe he was part of yakuza? But then, what did he want with them?

Andy hoped he was not the one to bring trouble.

And since the time he first appeared, he kept on appearing day after day, at random times, but always when Andy was home... Always looking with a deep, sorrowful expression on his face. What was his deal..?

Once, he was walking down the street, groceries in one hand and Aiko clinging to his other arm. Yeah, in the end, he made a move on her and she wasn't at all displeased... Although she kept on telling him he should go see a doctor. Maybe he could help him, but Andy brushed Aiko's offer off, saying he wanted to stay here, with her. And memories would probably make him want to leave, so they stopped talking about it since.

It was another day like any other and as they made it to the front gate, the same man was already there.

Sighing, he turned to Aiko, "Do you know that guy? He has been appearing at the gate a lot recently... Maybe your old friend or something?"

"H-huh? What are you talking about? What guy?"

"That one over there," Andy pointed a finger at the man, who stood there, leaning against the wall, staring spaced out at the house, that same expression on his face.

"...I don't see anybody..." Aiko blinked, confused, as she stared at the spot Andy pointed to.

"...what? But he is right there!" Andy was surprised. The hell was going on? "But I see him right the-"

"You are the only one who can see and hear me...Andy. Stop making a fool of yourself," came a deep voice from the man as they finally made it to the front gate.

At that same second, the redhead stopped in his tracks, Aiko staring up at him, still confused, "Why did you stop, my love?"

Andy was staring at the tattooed man before him, shocked, as if in a trance, but as soon as he head Aiko, he turned to her, smiling sheepishly, "...sorry, I think I am having another one of my headaches. I should to go for a walk..."

"...so that's what you call things you don't understand now, huh?" the brunet commented, crossing his arms, receiving an instant glare from Andy.

Aiko stared at Andy for a long while, not believing him one bit, but decided it was indeed for the best. It wasn't the first time Andy went for a walk to clear his head, but this time…he was acting too strange. Still, she decided not to push it. Getting on her tiptoes, Aiko kissed his lips, taking the groceries bag from his hand, "Alright. But don't be long. Dinner is going to be ready soon," and with that, she left, Andy watching her back.

The brunet looked at the redhead, then at the girl, "Lovely catch..." he muttered under his breath, Andy hearing what he said though.

"Who the hell are you and why have you been appearing here all of a sudden? Are you a mob or what and the most important thing... Why the hell am I the only one who can see and hear you?" Andy spat, watching the other man smirk and turn on his heels.

"Let's go talk someplace else...Andy. You did promise your lovely girlfriend you were going to go for a walk to clear your head."

Andy frowned at the other's forwardness, but followed anyway. For some reason, he was getting a...nostalgic feeling, as if he has seen this man somewhere before, but he couldn't put a finger on it for the death of him.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, stopping at a river bank. The brunet sat down, so Andy did, too. Andy was at complete ease with this man, for a reason he didn't know. He wasn't at all worried at getting attacked, nothing at all. He couldn't explain it, but Andy knew... The man before him was-

"...do I know you?" the redhead spoke up, finally breaking the silence.

The brunet tensed visibly, turning to look at Andy, that same sad expression on his face, "...The name's... Shuuhei and... Yeah, you do know me," he smiled lightly, "Or rather, used to, before your memory loss..."

"...you knew me before my memory loss, huh... Someone from my past…" Andy looked hopeful at Shuuhei, "...could you please tell me...who I am? Where I came from, my name and-"

"...the question is... If you would want that yourself," Shuuhei cut in, turning to look at calming waters, "...I overheard the talk you had with your new...girlfriend. You don't want to leave. And I can guarantee that your memories will make you want to leave."

Staring at Shuuhei, Andy was baffled. Here it was, his chance to get all of his memories back. There was no way he couldn't take it...right?

"I will stay, regardless of what my memories hold," he thought about it. He had Aiko now. He didn't want to leave.

Shuuhei laughed at that, "...No, you wouldn't. Knowing you as well as I do, I know you won't..." sighing, the brunet turned to look at Andy again, "...would you believe me if the reason you are the only one who can see me, is because I'm a spirit?" Andy's eyes stared wide at him, "...and so are you."

The redhead was speechless. He couldn't say a single word except for, "B-but...everyone else can see me."

"...Oh, that..." Shuuhei smiled a tiny bit, his eyes still miserable, "...that's not a real body. We spirits can use artificial bodies to walk among the living."

Andy raised his arms slowly, clenching and unclenching fists, staring at himself, "...but...why?"

"...In your case, it's to save you."

"From what?"

"...I can't say..."

"Why?!"

"...I promised...you..."

"What?!" Andy was getting despaired. He was confused, really confused, but it didn't look like the man before him was a liar... And he started to feel like he wanted to know who he was...again.

He was living a lie. He realized that just now. The month that passed was all...a lie...

"...I shouldn't have come here," Shuuhei said suddenly, lowering his head, "...I shouldn't have shown myself to you. I shouldn't have told you this much already, but I... I...can't bear it anymore," the last words were quiet as the brunet shook, a hand over his face, trying to keep himself together.

Andy's heart clenched as he watched the man before him break down like that, not sure what he was supposed to do... Putting a hand on the other's shoulder in a comforting gesture, the tattooed redhead said, "...then, just tell me. You were my friend, right?"

Shuuhei's head suddenly snapped up at that and before Andy could realize what was going on, he was pinned to the ground, his arms held in a tight grip, Shuuhei hovering over him as he struggled against him, but to no avail.

"Look at you... If it was you from before, you would be able to break this kind of hold on you easily...fuck..." Shuuhei was getting almost hysterical as he leaned close to Andy's face, "Fuck...fuck...fuck..."

And the world seemed to have stopped as the redhead's eyes widened, his mind slowly registering he was being kissed by a man. And not just any kiss, it was so familiar... Shuuhei's lips moved so naturally along his, as if that was where they belonged, as if they had done this before plenty of times...

What..? N-no way...

After less that a minute, the brunet leaned back, staring down at the redhead, his eyes full of sadness, regret and...pain. It was all simple pain, "...it was the first time you didn't kiss me back... Not that I can blame you," he let out a pathetic snicker.

And then, since Andy's arms were now lose, he didn't hold back and moved on instinct, punching the damn motherfucker off himself, rubbing his lips off with a sleeve, "The fucking hell you think you're doing?! I am not fucking gay you queer shithead!" he yelled, kicking Shuuhei in the stomach, grabbing the man by the collar and slamming him against the ground, "...who the fuck do you think you are to just...just...come into my new life and think you can do this?! Fucking twat!" Andy punched Shuuhei again, "Go to fucking hell where you belong! I don't need or want you here..." and as sudden shock subdued, the redhead stared down at Shuuhei, watching the other simply look up at him. Then, Andy let go of him, standing up.

Looking up at the sky, Andy let out a sigh. He watched the dim moon visible in the clear sky, the sun still high in the clouds. Feeling a sudden urge, Andy raised his hand towards the moon, then after a few seconds, that same hand reached out to Shuuhei, which the brunet took wordlessly, standing up.

The atmosphere was heavy with all of the mixed emotions running through both men, but there was a strange connection, an understanding between them.

Sighing, Shuuhei shook his head, rubbing his twice punched cheek, "...You are going to hate me if I tell you everything... I really don't want to. It is going to ruin you."

Andy closed his eyes for a moment, thinking about it, but when he next opened them, they were full of confidence, "...I promise I won't be. In the end, it seems I can't live without my memories. If you walk away right now they are going to hunt me down for the rest of my life..." Shuuhei's eyes held understanding in them, but he still shook his head.

"...I made a promise to you... That I won't... It's for your own safety. And I wish for you to stay well and live happily more than anything else, but... I simply can't live without you. I can't look at you with another person, in a romantic relationship...and pretend I don't give a shit...without you even breaking up with me..." Shuuhei bit his lip, "...I really made a huge mistake by coming here. I thought that... I could let go of you if I saw you one last time, for your happiness is top priority...but I felt...jealousy...when I saw you with another...I..." Shuuhei couldn't say more so he went quiet.

Andy listened carefully, before adding, "...I can't believe I was gay..." Shuuhei looked up at him with surprised eyes, watching the redhead laugh, "Look, false happiness is no happiness at all. I rather be unhappy, having my own memories back than being happy with something false. Whether you made a mistake or not... No longer matters. You told me many things already...and showed me I am indeed missing a lot. What's done is done...and there is no way I can let go of this now," pausing a second, the redhead scratched the back of his head, thinking about it, "...besides, I don't think I was that unhappy...and... Something tells me I was never a type to accept safety, eh?" Shuuhei smiled along with Andy at that, knowingly, "...so, tell me, Shuuhei...who am I?"

Letting out a deep breath, the brunet looked up into brown eyes, "...you are... Abarai Renji. A Shinigami of Soul Society. 6th Division Fukutaichou and... The murderer of your own Taichou - Kuchiki Byakuya."

Renji's eyes went completely wide at that, horrified at the information, his mind racing, racing with too many scenes, too many memories.

Screaming his heart out, Renji dropped to his knees, grabbing for his hair painfully, his head pounding loudly... So loudly he thought he was going to die on the spot.

And then, as if nothing happened, everything went blank...and he lost consciousness, feeling a pair of arms catching him.

To Be Continued...