FROZEN AND ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO DISNEY, I DON'T OWN THEM!
This is a short one shot set in a slightly alternate universe where Hans attempted to go through with his original "woo Elsa" plan.
Hans' eyes followed the queen across the ballroom with the litheness of Freyja herself. She really was quite beautiful, most of the royal girls and women Hans in the past were not really much to look at, but Arendelle's new ruler was gorgeous. If his plan succeeded, he most definitely wouldn't have to be married to a hag has he'd feared.
With predatory determination and intent, the handsome prince strode confidently across the room to where Elsa stood, pouring herself a glass of champagne. Not a single drop spilled, of course.
When she turned to make her way back towards her sister in the center of the ballroom, Hans quickly intercepted her and put himself between the queen and her destination. He took her free hand without warning and pressed it to his lips, causing Elsa to react with a gasp of shock.
"Uh, Forgive me your majesty, I don't believe I've had the chance to formally introduce myself yet."
He simply stood there. She did the same. A Moment crawled by, and Hans charming smile faltered in the face of Elsa's quizzical expression.
This was strange, usually a woman would begin to struggle for words or awkwardly compliment him following his first impression. Not the case here, apparently.
"So, who are you?"
Hans snapped out of his confusion and answered; "Uh, I am Prince Hans of the Southern Isles, thirteenth son of King Gustav IX".
"Well, it's lovely to meet you Prince Hans, I am honored you made the journey to attend my coronation"
"Of course! Uh, might your majesty give me the honor of a dance?"
"Oh-oh no, sorry, I don't dance, I don't know how. And, well, I'm holding a glass of champagne."
"Um-I can…teach you?"
"No, my apologizes, but I'm going to have to reject your offer."
"I-o-okay."
Hans stared blankly at the far wall, a look of shock and bewilderment plastered on his face. This was not going according to plan.
An hour later, the prince tried again.
"Hello, again, your majesty."
Elsa turned around, a surprised expression on her face.
"Oh, Prince Hans!"
Hans glanced sideways, catching the eye of Elsa's little sister, Anna.
"This must be your lovely sister", Hans said, bowing.
He flashed his charming grin once more, and the princess covered her mouth with her hand, giggling uncontrollably. Hans kissed her hand, and Anna's face immediately glowed redder than the embers in the fireplace on the far wall of the ballroom.
Elsa shot an amused glance at her sister, which only caused her blushing to intensify.
"Uh, my sister is…pleased to meet you…I think. Anna, this is Prince Hans of the…Northern Islands, was it?"
A flash of anger crossed the prince's face for a moment, but went just as quickly.
"Southern Isles", he corrected.
There was an awkward silence between the three of them, and Hans could practically feel the Throne of Arendelle slipping out of his hands like a wet apple.
He desperately glanced around the grand ballroom, searching for something he could use to create a conversation. His eyes settled on a massive and obviously very old tapestry depicting Thor's battle with Jormungandr.
"Arendelle's embroidery and fabrics are known across Europe, but I never imagined they could be so beautiful. Surely the reason for your majesty's gorgeous dress."
"Thank you."
Anna jumped in.
"So, Prince Hans, what's it like in the Southern Isles?"
"Oh, it's a lovely place! The weather is a lot warmer than here, but it is still quite cold. Our economy is based mostly on exports of marine…"
Suddenly, Hans realized he had just finished a discourse on the history, economy, and governmental structure of the Southern Isles. He was mortified.
"I-I Don't believe our nations are currently partners in trade, are they Queen Elsa?"
"No, I don't believe so, not in any permanent way at least."
"We should definitely become so, I feel it would be a greatly beneficial relationship between two great-"
"What's this I hear about trade?"
Hans visibly jumped and let out a small squeal as the Duke of Weselton elbowed him aside and inserted himself into the group "conversation".
"Oh! Duke! I was only saying to Queen Elsa that Arendelle and the Southern Isles should become permanent trade partners. I-I Mean, due to our proximity, it would be only natural th-"
"I'm afraid that will prove quite impossible my boy. You see, the trade agreement between the Kingdom of Corona, and in particular the city of Weselton stipulates that Arendelle is not to trade with any nations in nearer proximity than the nearest part of Corona, and the Kingdom of the Southern Isles falls within that range."
A Dark rage bubbled up in the Prince's stomach. How dare this stick-thin little bastard shove himself where he didn't belong and try to sabotage Hans meticulous plot? He wanted nothing more than to un-sheath the deliciously dull ceremonial sword at his hip and separate the Duke's body from his head, but instead he simply said; "Oh."
The Duke locked gazes with Hans, as if daring him to do anything.
"Well…yes, so I presume there will be no further talks of trade between the Southern Isles and Arendelle, yes?"
"…Yes."
"Then I bid you good evening."
With a short bow, the Duke turned, and flanked by his two large bodyguards, marched back to a group of nobles with which he had been previously conversing.
"Wow, that little man is such a…ugh", Anna said.
"Unfortunate", Elsa said.
Hans was still furious. The Duke had made him look like an idiot in front of his prospective conquest. The thought of eviscerating the weasel and hearing him beg for mercy suddenly invaded Hans' head, but he was snapped out of his dark fantasies by Anna's voice.
The girl was ringing her hands and blushing harder than ever as she said; "So, uh-P-Prince Hans, would you like to uh…uh…dance with…with me?"
Hans had to stop himself from throwing his hands in the air and marching away in humiliation and defeat. What was he supposed to do? If he said no, he would make the queen hate him for rejecting her obviously smitten and naïve younger sister, but if he said yes, she would think he had some interest in Anna.
Hans' mind was racing, trying to come up with some solution to this issue. Finally, he said; "Of course! But only if your gorgeous older sister will dance with me as well afterwards."
Anna gazed imploringly at her sister, and Hans had to fight to suppress a devilish grin of triumph. "I've got you now!" He thought. If she said no, Anna would be furious, but if she said yes, then he would dance with him, and by all the gods he would make her fall in love with him.
"Fine", Elsa said, defeated.
"Remember to help yourself to the plate of sandwiches later, you've earned it you handsome genius!", Hans told himself.
With that thought, Hans took the giggling Princess' hand and lead her out onto the dance floor with practiced grace.
Across the ballroom, a certain Duke had convened his two bodyguards in the corner for a "secret" meeting.
"I See what that boy is doing!", He spat, "Trying to woo the queen, get her to switch us out for the Southern Isles as a main trading partner, no doubt. This has the fingerprints of old Gustav himself all over it! Well, it's up to you two men to make sure his little prince won't get very far! Do whatever you have to make sure he doesn't get any chance to make a halfway decent impression on Queen Elsa. And don't be too obvious for God's sake!"
His men nodded, and started off.
"When I was pulled from a war to serve in this man's guard, I didn't think it would involve keeping young men and women from dancing with one another", one of them grumbled.
"I Heard that Hermann!", the Duke shouted after him, drawing the attention of the surrounding partygoers. "For that, you'll get no pay for a week!"
Hermann continued off with more grumbling.
"So how exactly are we supposed to 'sabotage' this?", Hermann asked his companion.
"I Don't know, just make him slip on a spilled drink or something. Or we could do nothing and tell the Duke we tried."
Hermann glanced over to the Duke who was watching them intently with the sharp, steel gaze of a hawk.
"Won't work Heinrich, look at the way the old bastard is watching us. We've to at least look like we're trying."
"Fine, I'll just go with your drink idea."
"Next time he heads out to the dance floor, just spill some wine in his general area", Heinrich said, waving his hand to signal 'general'.
Hermann groaned and went to pour himself the sabotaging glass of champagne.
Hans had finally completed his waltz with the princess, and was walking her back to her place with her sister, looking quite pleased with himself
Smiling, he stretched out a hand to Elsa.
"Now, your Majesty?"
Elsa huffed and allowed him to take her gloved hand in his own.
As he headed out to the floor, he noticed one of the Duke's men heading rather conspicuously towards him, holding a glass of champagne that looked comically small in his large hand.
Hans tried to ignore him and began his dance.
The dance the prince had with the queen was much closer than the one he'd had with the princess. Though one couldn't blame him, this had often worked on women in the past. However, it seemed Elsa would not join the ranks of those women, the poor girl looked more uncomfortable by the second, and Hans noticed she was growing quite uncomfortably cold.
It was not so noticeable at first, but it became so unbearably cold, that Hans had to reposition his right hand from the queen's waist to her more heavily clothed upper back, where it would undoubtedly be warmer.
As Hans wondered about this strange phenomenon, the Weselton soldier drew closer, still incredibly conspicuously. The combined distraction of these two occurrences caused to Hans to turn to the left just a touch to sharply, and slipping on a substance somewhere between ice and slush that he was sure had not been there a moment before, he was sent sprawling onto the floor at an awful angle.
As he stood, rubbing his head, he took in a horrible sight; the queen covering her mouth with a gloved hand, attempting to stifle laughter.
The Weseltonian guard shrugged and downed the glass of champagne in two gulps.
"How did he slip?, you didn't even spill the wine."
Hermann shrugged, setting down the champagne glass on the table.
"I Don't know, like I always say, God helps those who help themselves."
"I'll drink to that", Heinrich said.
Hans third and final attempt of the night came later, after he had fixed his soaked suit and recovered from his humiliation, when he caught sight of the queen standing alone on a balcony, staring out over Arendelle's harbor.
Hans sidled up to the queen, resting his arms on the edge of the railing, as she did.
"You truly have a lovely country, Queen Elsa."
"Thank you, Hans", she said for the fifth time that night.
"Not as lovely as its' ruler, however."
"Hans, I-I'm flattered by your…attentions, really I am, but I don't think this is the right…place for them."
Hans was taken aback, and a dark, sinking pit appeared in his stomach. No! It could not end like this!
Just as he prepared to open his mouth for what would undoubtedly be a terrible response, the Duke of Weselton's guards appeared on the balcony behind them. Hans noticed that the larger one, with the muttonchops, held a paper of some sort in his gloved hand.
"Uh, Prince Hans", the guard started. "An urgent message has come from the Southern Isles. The Duke, as a close friend of your father's asked me to relay it to you. It appears that your wife is shippin-no wait, I mean-"
"I'm not married!", Hans exclaimed, mortified.
"Yes, well, according to this lett-"
"Give me that!", The quickly unraveling prince snarled. "This is a
He turned back to Elsa, his face a mask of panic and desperation.
"I'm not married! Well I will-no! Will you marry me?"
He dropped clumsily to one knee, half tripping as he did so.
"Queen Elsa, please marry me! I Love you!"
The queen simply stared at him in utter shock, she opened her mouth a few times, but no words came forth.
"I-I…is that a yes?"
"No Hans."