I would like to thank Chavi for coming up with a summary for me. I was
turing out to be hopeless on this one, and she really pulled me out of
a rut. Thanks, girl!
DISCLAIMER: Ok, you guys all know that I don't own this stuff, right?
So I'm only doing this once, but it is put into effect for ALL chapters
of this fanfic. See? FAN fic. I don't own Harry Potter or anything
relating to it, so therefore I am a FAN. Hence the name fanfic!!! The
only parts of this particular story that I own are the plot, and the
new character: ME! So, don't get on my case for not writing a disclaimer
at the start of every chapter. This one covers it all, so why do I need
to keep repeating myself?
A/N: THIS IS SORTA FUNNY. I REALLY HAVE THIS THING FOR MAKING FUN OF
VOLDEMORT. UMMM... DETAILS? KINDA AN AUTHOR/ROMANCE/ACTION/ADVENTURE
/HUMOR, I SUPPOSE. I AM THE MAIN CHARACTER (YES! MEETING THE TUBULAR
TRIO AT LAST!) FEEDBACK AND CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENTS/CRITICISM ETC. ARE
WELCOME. ALSO, ANY QUESTIONS ASKED WILL BE ANSWERED WITHIN MY LIMITA-
TIONS. SO, ENJOY!
Voldemort's New Plan
Chapter 1
"Ready, guys? Ok, here we go!" I said as I popped my new DVD into the
DVD player. A few friends had come over to watch our favorite movie of
all time: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone!
We stared in utter jubilation as the movie came on, shouting obscenities
at the Dursleys and cheering Harry on in Quidditch.
Then came my favorite part. We gasped, shrieked, and screamed at all of
the right places as Ron, Hermione, and Harry bravely made their way
toward the Sorcerer's Stone.
Just as Quirrell fainted and Lord Voldemort left his body, ready to
take off, something happened that - no matter how hard I tried - I
could not remember happening before: Voldie paused, and turned the part
of him that was supposed to be his head toward us. LOOKING AT US! He
just sat there, staring.
::No, not 'staring'. Must be something wrong with the tape...::
"Hang on. I'll fix it." I told my friends. They, out of boredom,
resorted to throwing oreos at one another. One landed on my head,
leaving a few chocolate crumbs in my hair.
"Eww! Gross, people!" Nevertheless, I chucked one back at my assailant
as I made my way up to the DVD player. The remote control seemed to be
malfunctioning...
As soon as I got up to the TV screen, Voldemort's freaky, somewhat-
transparent body SHOT OUT OF THE SCREEN. My friends and I began
screaming at the top of our lungs.
"Silence, Muggles!" Everyone immediately fell silent at his cold speech,
which was even freakier in real life.
Lord V.'s head turned back to look at me, and in the blink of an eye,
he had pointed his wand at me, though I have no idea how he held it,
and shouted, "Imperio!"
I was floating. Not a care in the world... La dee dah dee deeeee!
Suddenly, my sense of blissful nothingness was taken away.
I was jolted back to reality, then quickly squeezed my eyes shut again.
"Fool Muggle! Open your eyes! I don't have all day!" came a cruel hiss.
Slowly, as though pained, I opened my eyes, and looked around. I was
inside something that seemed a little familiar. Everything was black,
silver, and green, and VERY expensive-looking. It was almost like a
very rich, evil-someone's living room...
Suddenly, realization struck. ::Dur!:: I thought to myself.
I focused on the hideous being in front of me, and flinched. ::Damn,
Voldi is UGLY!::
Voldemort glared at me. "Sadly, my tool, we had to jump through time to
get here. Four years, to be exact. Now I must get you into Hogwarts.
Sooo... I'm going to have to modify your memory. I hope you don't mind?
Obliviate!"
Before I knew what was happening, I had forgotten everything.
I sat there, dazed, and someone in front of me - I'm not sure who,
because I was trying to remember how I'd gotten here - shouted
"Stupefy!" And then I --
A/N: HEEHEE CLIFFHANGER. I LOVE IT! DON'T WORRY, I'LL PICK UP WHERE I
LEFT OFF COME THE NEXT CHAPTER. CHEERS!
turing out to be hopeless on this one, and she really pulled me out of
a rut. Thanks, girl!
DISCLAIMER: Ok, you guys all know that I don't own this stuff, right?
So I'm only doing this once, but it is put into effect for ALL chapters
of this fanfic. See? FAN fic. I don't own Harry Potter or anything
relating to it, so therefore I am a FAN. Hence the name fanfic!!! The
only parts of this particular story that I own are the plot, and the
new character: ME! So, don't get on my case for not writing a disclaimer
at the start of every chapter. This one covers it all, so why do I need
to keep repeating myself?
A/N: THIS IS SORTA FUNNY. I REALLY HAVE THIS THING FOR MAKING FUN OF
VOLDEMORT. UMMM... DETAILS? KINDA AN AUTHOR/ROMANCE/ACTION/ADVENTURE
/HUMOR, I SUPPOSE. I AM THE MAIN CHARACTER (YES! MEETING THE TUBULAR
TRIO AT LAST!) FEEDBACK AND CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENTS/CRITICISM ETC. ARE
WELCOME. ALSO, ANY QUESTIONS ASKED WILL BE ANSWERED WITHIN MY LIMITA-
TIONS. SO, ENJOY!
Voldemort's New Plan
Chapter 1
"Ready, guys? Ok, here we go!" I said as I popped my new DVD into the
DVD player. A few friends had come over to watch our favorite movie of
all time: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone!
We stared in utter jubilation as the movie came on, shouting obscenities
at the Dursleys and cheering Harry on in Quidditch.
Then came my favorite part. We gasped, shrieked, and screamed at all of
the right places as Ron, Hermione, and Harry bravely made their way
toward the Sorcerer's Stone.
Just as Quirrell fainted and Lord Voldemort left his body, ready to
take off, something happened that - no matter how hard I tried - I
could not remember happening before: Voldie paused, and turned the part
of him that was supposed to be his head toward us. LOOKING AT US! He
just sat there, staring.
::No, not 'staring'. Must be something wrong with the tape...::
"Hang on. I'll fix it." I told my friends. They, out of boredom,
resorted to throwing oreos at one another. One landed on my head,
leaving a few chocolate crumbs in my hair.
"Eww! Gross, people!" Nevertheless, I chucked one back at my assailant
as I made my way up to the DVD player. The remote control seemed to be
malfunctioning...
As soon as I got up to the TV screen, Voldemort's freaky, somewhat-
transparent body SHOT OUT OF THE SCREEN. My friends and I began
screaming at the top of our lungs.
"Silence, Muggles!" Everyone immediately fell silent at his cold speech,
which was even freakier in real life.
Lord V.'s head turned back to look at me, and in the blink of an eye,
he had pointed his wand at me, though I have no idea how he held it,
and shouted, "Imperio!"
I was floating. Not a care in the world... La dee dah dee deeeee!
Suddenly, my sense of blissful nothingness was taken away.
I was jolted back to reality, then quickly squeezed my eyes shut again.
"Fool Muggle! Open your eyes! I don't have all day!" came a cruel hiss.
Slowly, as though pained, I opened my eyes, and looked around. I was
inside something that seemed a little familiar. Everything was black,
silver, and green, and VERY expensive-looking. It was almost like a
very rich, evil-someone's living room...
Suddenly, realization struck. ::Dur!:: I thought to myself.
I focused on the hideous being in front of me, and flinched. ::Damn,
Voldi is UGLY!::
Voldemort glared at me. "Sadly, my tool, we had to jump through time to
get here. Four years, to be exact. Now I must get you into Hogwarts.
Sooo... I'm going to have to modify your memory. I hope you don't mind?
Obliviate!"
Before I knew what was happening, I had forgotten everything.
I sat there, dazed, and someone in front of me - I'm not sure who,
because I was trying to remember how I'd gotten here - shouted
"Stupefy!" And then I --
A/N: HEEHEE CLIFFHANGER. I LOVE IT! DON'T WORRY, I'LL PICK UP WHERE I
LEFT OFF COME THE NEXT CHAPTER. CHEERS!