A/N: I wrote this ages ago, and finally got around to posting it. I am going to leave it as an open - ended one shot. Hope you enjoy it, and please leave a review if you want me to continue it! I've been trying for ages to continue it! Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever been in possession of The Inheritance Cycle. It has always been, and will continue to be Christopher Paolini's. I make no monetary profit, only confidence.
How do you express that which you know you should not? How do you express those tumultuous feelings that which you can not name nor understand or even begin to fathom? What if they are wrong and you know it is so? Or if they go against your duties? And what if you don't care? All questions whose answers have been eluding my grasp with a great and terribly vexing power, even at my age. There are yet more questions and answers that will not reveal themselves to me.
"Arya, you should not dwell on that which you can not change." Firnen's deep voice sounded from within her mind.
Sighing heavily, she replied "I know, Firnen, but alas - " Struggling most ineloquently to voice her feelings with the correct words, she simply sends the feelings through their bond to the large awe - inspiring green dragon.
Her feelings were of confusion, longing, sadness, shame, yearning, fear; and yet more that can not be explained or said. With a heavily imbalance of confusion and longing, she sent more to further explain herself. Confusion, confusion for all of this, for she does not often open up herself, and leave herself so vulnerable to feelings, feelings of the nature she can not comprehend; feelings she is not used to due to her tendency of keeping herself locked up and closed off tightly from the world. Longing for that which she cannot have; that which is beheld from her reach.
Feelings of empathy emanated deeply through the bond from Firnen.
Venting, with a tremor of exhaustion and fear, Arya says "Firnen, I did not expect this to happen! It should not have occurred! My feelings growing, festering within me! I -" she dwindled off, recognizing she was incoherent and permitting her feelings to rule her; not wanting to allow another breakdown of tears and rage similar to those from the night before.
"Arya, I understand. I feel exactly as you do." Firnen's deep voice rang out mentally, truly empathetic and calming.
Guilt coursed through Arya at his comment, bringing back memories of his short time with his beloved mate, Saphira. Jealously at the fact he spent more time being open with his beloved than she had was shoved to the background. "Oh, Firnen, I apologize wholeheartedly! In being selfishly absorbed with myself, I have overlooked you and your feelings; I'm sorry. I allowed my feelings to cloud my judgement; I will not allow them to do so again."
Firnen replied gently "Little one, it tis all right. This is still new to you. It is perfectly all right."
Shame coursed through her again. Truly he was much wiser than her, despite the vast age gap. She had felt similarly that many a time with Eragon.
Firnen, dipping his head at her feelings of thanks, continued "Now, you must not forget your duties, or your other obligations..." he paused "Though rest assured, we will discuss this to a further extent later."
Sighing, Arya nodded her head and agreed with "You are, as most times, correct, Firnen. Now, as Queen, I must fulfill my duties."
With that, albeit reluctantly, Arya strode confidently away from Firnen, preparing her mask, her guard which she had let down around Firnen, mind still in turmoil, heading to Tialdari Hall* to convene with the Council of Elders.
Softly, to herself, knowing her dragon will overhear her, but with no concern as to that, Arya whispered "Oh, Eragon…"
* = I am not completely sure if I spelled this right, if you do know, I'd be much obliged if you let me know!
I imagine Arya's guard as going down around Firnen (whose name, by the way, I have no clue how to add the accent above the "i" for), and being much more open. Hope you enjoyed it, please review! If you have questions or comments, please PM or review! Just remember, I don't have that thick of a skin, so please, no flaming!