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Dear Jethro,

If you are reading this then the supposedly worst case scenario had happened, and I am dead. You may want to know that I have been followed for the last month (prior to writing this letter), they have taken photos of me, and somehow got copies of my mail. Jethro these people are from my past, our past. I don't know who they are, but I do know that they want me dead, and have now obviously succeeded. Jethro I did not tell you about this, as they would then have come after you too, and if you had of died instead of me then I would never have forgiven myself, you have much more to live for than me, the team need you, and so does Abby.( Jethro I know what you just said and it was for yours and my sakes, not gods.)

Seaming as I am now dead, I am guessing that you had Ducky autopsy my body, and you now know I was ill. You most likely also know that I could have had an operatio, but if I am honest, I did not see a reason why I should put myself through that, when I had no-one waiting, don't feel guilty, all my family is gone, I have no children, I've lost touch with nearly all of my friends and I know me and you would never be together again.

I'm going to take this chance to say sorry, I know it is about 10 years to late, and before you start reciting you god damn rules, I know you think saying sorry is a sign of weakness, but sometimes it needs to be said; Jethro I am sorry for leaving you in Paris, I have regretted it for so long. I did what I thought was best for me at the time, yet I was young and foolish, and I know it wasn't what was best. I left you then with just that stupid Dear john letter, and it was the cowards way out, I've left you again now, years later, yet this time forever, yet again though, I have taken the cowards way out. Jethro, you captured my heart years ago, and although I never admitted it, I never truly got it back. I have and will always love you Jethro.

My love forever,

Jen x

P.S. If you dare name one of you damn boats after me, then I have left specific instructions for Ziva to head slap you and to have no mercy.