Prologue – "I tend to fix cars, not destroy them"

She was getting married. The invitation sat on my kitchen table, its envelope so tempting and seductive, wanting me to read about the fate my best friend and the girl I love would soon face. I had to get out of here. I had to go somewhere.

As I ran off the rez, heading north, dark thoughts clouded my mind as I ran and ran and ran. The pack echoed thoughts through me, showing support and concern. A series of howls followed my escape from this shattering reality.

Jake, where are you going?

We'll come with you.

Don't leave.

Embry, Quil, leave him be, Sam commanded, Jake, take the time you need.

I replied with nothing, but took his respect of my torn –up state and continued at my fast pace. No matter how far I would go though, I could hear them. No matter where I was, I was always going to be haunted with their voices. No matter what is given, there are perks and there are flaws. Running and reaching the border of Canada in a couple of hours? Perk. Hearing and seeing your pack mates' thoughts and not having the choice on whether or not you want to be a wolf? Con.

I had been running for hours, possibly days. I went north, east, back tracked west, dipped south. I watched the sun rise, then fall in the evening. I'd stop at water sources and hydrate myself, then just sit there, looking over the water's reflection of the sky. I tried not to think of anything. I tried to feel numb. My body did feel numb, but not my thoughts. There were too many emotions filtering through my brain. I was rarely alone. I could still hear my pack mates as they kept up with their daily routines. I wanted them gone, just for a moment, for an hour or a day. I didn't want this at all. I wanted normal. Just normal, no wolves or vampires or anything.

Deal with it, Jacob, Leah responded, listening in on my pity party one day.

My jaw snapped shut as a growl, visions of violence and blood pouring into my thoughts. She seemed to have gotten the message and shut up.

****

I had no clue how many days I had been missing from La Push. A week? Maybe two? Should I head back home? The pack had made very few and pathetic attempts to win me over to coming home. Every attempt they tried sent me running. I wish I had a compass. I wish I had a map. I wish I knew where I was.

But here I was again, running. I could be the next Olympic track runner, if I was allowed to be a wolf. Maybe I could trick Embry or Quil into entering me into one of those dog agility competitions. They probably don't have a size category for my size. I'd be stuck running a horse's course, jumping over those stupid hurdles.

I turned my running into a game then, weaving between trees, playing the dodge game. Tree. Tree. Tree. Tree. Road. Whoa, wait, what?

My wet paws hit pavement. Nice, newly paved pavement. This random road reminded me of Forks. Driving Bella home after her cliff diving experience. Constantly meeting at the damn treaty line to exchange Bella like she was the child of a divorced couple. Wait, she was the child of a divorced couple.

I stood in the center of the thin road, looking at its two directions. I really wished I had a compass. Alright, time to analyze my choices. Option 1, ignore the road, keeping taking the woods (I had run into civilization a few times during this escape, but had mostly avoided them or snuck through them during the early hours of the morning to find the next patch of woods). Option 2, head down one way of the road with the safety of the woods and figure out where I was with a city name or even a small picture of a state or something. And then option 3, take the other way down the road to find which city was that way; that sounded a lot like option 2, but one road could lead to Wonderland and the other road could lead to the Wizard of Oz. Why was life always like this?

And why was I such an idiot? This road seemed so bare. It felt about six in the morning. The sun had only been in the sky for half an hour maybe. I'd assume no one was ever up this early except old people and werewolves running rounds. I guess my mind had been somewhere else, lost in thought, that I didn't hear the approaching car. I was too focused on myself and my decisions until I heard the loud screeching of tires begging for grip against the moist pavement. I turned my head just in time to catch the initial hit of the impact as the cheap-ass Honda Accord collide into my legs, my shoulder and neck slamming against the hood of the car. Luckily, we didn't roll far, my mass and the impact helping the car to stop.

I mentally groaned; dazed not even beginning to cover how I felt. My body slid off the hood of the car, collapsing to the ground, a small huff coming from my mouth as I landed on broken ribs. Broken ribs, I was pretty sure my front right leg was broken (nothing way serious like the doc blood sucker had to fix, so hopefully no mending wrong). The lucky bitch at the wheels knew right where to hit me it seemed. Lucky for her, with quick healing, none of this would be here tomorrow. Still, that didn't stop it from causing a throbbing in my head and a powerful ache in my body. I wasn't even aware of the sudden calls of alarm as my pack mates began to realize what had happened.

Holy fuck, Jake just got hit by a car!

Get Sam! Get Sam!

Dude, are you okay? Can you hear me? Don't go towards the light!

I growled; the embarrassment of this whole event too much to handle that I finally spoke, Shut up Embry.

Placing my left front paw on the pavement, I struggled to pull my weight up. It wasn't easy. Slipping, I fell back on the hard ground, letting out a deplorable whimper. I wanted to lie there for a bit longer to recover, but I had to get out of the road. I had to get out of here before whoever is at the wheel came out calling animal control or something. That would be even more humiliating.

Finally the car door opened, but I could see nothing. The driver side was at my butt, what a wonderful view. Twisting my ears back, I listened for any hint of a phone call or a gun cocking to finish me off. That's what we had to do with deer that accidentally got hit, put them out of their misery. I honestly didn't want to bullet hole to match my car accident injuries.

I heard only three things: heels clicking on the pavement, shallow breaths of panic, and the jingling of jewelry. I tried to turn my head to see, but saw nothing. She wasn't coming around the front? When you get into an accident, don't you usually go to where the damage is done? Should I give her my insurance card and information? This was so odd. I knew how to handle this situation as a human, but as a giant wolf? I get the feeling that no tribal history will save me from this predicament.

If she wasn't coming around the front, then maybe the back? Once again, I tried to hoist myself up on left side. I manage to get to my feet in a very unsteady and shaky manner. But when I finally caught a glimpse at my attacker, I crumbled to the ground again. Not because of pain. Not because of how unstable I was. No, because gravity itself had completely shifted. Everything in my world turned upside down. Everything felt whole; everything felt complete; everything suddenly felt very warm Nothing felt the same. I shivered as I took in the world in a whole new light, her light. Only one thing passed through my mind though. Only one thing. Fucking hell.