Addicted
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It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
I've become increasingly worried that this is wrong. I'm too reliant upon the diary but I can't stop writing. You're too powerful.
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
I don't know how many times I've told myself that I won't write back. Then I give in and decide to reply one last time.
And I know I let you have all the power
You know how vulnerable I am. I've told you, shown you and allowed you to be the dominant one. I've never helped you deal with a problem or seen any form of weakness from you.
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
I don't care about anyone else. After I've spoken to you, it's almost like no one else matters. I don't even miss my Mum much anymore.
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
Where's the confident, chatty and excitable girl I used to be? My brothers are beginning to notice the change. I can fake my personality in letters but in reality, I'm a shadow of the person I was. I'm becoming nothing without you and I think that's what you wanted.
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
When I'm writing, I feel as though I have to tell you everything. Something in the diary makes me want to spill my secrets. There's nothing in my mind that you haven't heard. I don't even feel safe without having you in my head. My brain is almost connected to my quill and the words flow across the page and vanish before I even realise how much I've told you.
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realise I'm never gonna quit you over time
I tried to get rid of the diary but it always finds its way back to me. I want to write to you. Worse than that, I need to write to you.
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Who cares about Hogwarts, the school I've been longing to attend since I was three? I feel trapped inside my own mind unless I write down my fears and spell them out for you. I don't care about making friends or doing my homework or learning to fly a broomstick. There's nothing but you.
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
I just want to talk to you all the time. Nothing else makes me feel happy or content.
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
Every new thought I have, I want to share it with you. I sit in class and I can't wait to rush upstairs and talk to you about my day.
In my thoughts
In my dreams
I can't even go for one night without dreaming about you. Even before I knew what you looked like, I dreamed of you. Having a friend like you is every girl's fantasy. You understand me. I never fight with you. You don't disagree. You see me, like no one ever bothered to see me before.
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
Ginny Weasley could be anyone. I could be anyone. As long as you're here Tom, I don't need anything else. Lock me in Azkaban with the diary and a quill and I'd be fine.
It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's funny but the more I write to you, the less I feel like me. I can't remember anything I've done during the day, except writing to you and reading your replies.
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
I don't want to dream about you anymore. I used to dream about Harry, about my brothers, about my parents and my friends. I miss having other thoughts. There are always other students laughing and joking and studying but I know that I'm not like them. Sometimes I wish you weren't here, just so that I could be lonely again. At least that would be normal. I don't even miss my Mum now but that's not normal, is it?
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
In the middle of the night, I hear someone calling my name. People telling me to do bad things. I wake up and write to you, you show me memories and I black out. Once hours have passed, I forget what I've been doing. You write back and tell me that it's a side-effect of homesickness. I believe you because I trust you.
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now
I need to get rid of the diary if I ever want to be normal again. I'm sorry, Tom. I'll miss you more than anything.
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I need the diary back. Merlin, MERLIN, I need the diary back. I'm desperate to find it. What I'm going to do is copy all of my thoughts down on a piece of parchment and when I've got the diary back, I'll write them in. Until I find the diary, I can't sleep or concentrate on anything. Tom, I need to talk to you so badly.
I'm addicted to you
I can't tell anyone about us in case they take you away. I think I would eventually die if that happened.
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
Please, leave me alone. I can't live with you but I can't live without you.
In my dreams
You've taken over me
Tom, Hermione was attacked yesterday. She's my friend and I don't know what I was doing when it happened. Oh GOD. Why can't I remember?
It's like I'm not me
I'm so scared.
It's like I'm not me
I need you to tell me that it will be alright.
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
This will be the last time that I write. We can't keep doing this. It can't be good for you, either.
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
This will be the last time that I write. This time, I honestly mean it. I wish I didn't.
Just one more time
Then that's it
I had to write again but after this, there won't be anything else from me. I'm going to move on with my life.
Just a little bit more to get me through this
I felt so alone last night. That's why I've decided to write for one last time. I won't ever talk to you again after this. I can't. In a few days, we'll both be living our separate lives.
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Ron misses Hermione. I felt so guilty and scared and I wanted you to comfort me like you used to. It makes me feel so much better. I was wrong, Tom. I can't make it on my own.
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
It's not dangerous. I'm only talking to you. I could stop anytime I wanted to, I promise.
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Soon, I'll be alright without you. I'll always miss you but nothing's forever. We had a great time while it lasted.
Just a little bit more to get me through this
The other first year students don't like me. You showed me that you knew what it was like to be alone. Can I see that memory again, just so I know that it isn't only me? Everyone goes through this.
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
Is this love? Because it's more than friendship. I don't feel as though I could live without you.
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
Whenever I see a couple, I think of you. How old are you now? You went to Hogwarts in the past but how long ago exactly? The thought that you might not be alive anymore makes me cry.
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You are the best friend I've ever had. There's never been anyone who would listen to anything and everything that I had to say. So I will tell you anything and everything.
You've taken over me
You seem very interested in Harry Potter. Why? What's he got that I haven't?
It's like I'm not me
Since when did I become jealous and obsessive?
It's like I'm not me.
I couldn't have done that! Tom! Tell me the truth, please! How could I have set a monster loose? I don't know the first thing about magic yet! Oh Merlin, help me, Tom!