So this story forced itself upon me. And then it got stuck I couldn't get it out of my head at all so I decided to write and see where I ended up. And well here I am.. This is very different from anything I have written so far and it barley contains any dialoug which is wierd for being me. Anyway this is a story about how Kurt's life could have ended up in a world where he never joined glee and never had real friends. He is simply the kid everybody hates. It is very different in deed but I hope you will read it anyway and I really really hoe you will like it.
WARNINGS: Bullying, language, violence, death and angst I guess. Sometimes a tissue would be great to if you like to tear up reading.
Other than that it is pretty obvious I don't own Glee.
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW
Kurt has been a no body and a loner since middle school when people started to care more about status and being cool. The few friends he have disappears one by one until he was facing the world alone. At first he doesn't understand but it soon comes clear it is because he is too different to fit in. Different equals bad, weird and wrong in a city like Lima. So when people have sleep overs or parties at Friday nights he will spend the night with his father instead. He will cook, his father will make some popcorn and they will watch a movie, both of them ending up a sleep in the sofa. It doesn't bother either of them and Burt never asks if Kurt doesn't have anything better to do which Kurt is grateful for.
It is not until the first day of high school, that Kurt truly understands how much of an outcast he is. His father drives him to school and hugs him before Kurt climbs out of the car and walks over the parking lot with his head held high, not caring that everyone is staring at him.
"Nice clothes homo" Someone shouts but Kurt just keeps walking.
He won't let anyone get to him. His father have raised him to be strong and a small comment like that won't bring him down. He just walks through the corridors with his headphones plugged in and a confidence that will bother everyone who tries to get to him. At least that is what he hopes for.
In class he is the one sitting in the front. closest to the teacher. The seat beside him is empty as nobody wants to sit with him. When ever he answers a question and gets the teacher's approval he can here the sighs of people beside his back. He soon gets the teachers favorite and the student the rest of the school hates even more. Words are thrown at him every day but he shakes them off like they mean nothing, just concentrating at getting through each day.
High school is only four years and after that he will flee Lima and never come back. That is more than all of the jocks that keeps making his life hell, as Kurt knows they will end up with boring lives with wife's that have a headache on a daily basis and a couple of kids that either plays football or soccer and the circle will continue like that in eternity. Sometimes, that thought is the only thing that keeps him going.
The summer before his sophomore year, he spends in his fathers garage and he learns everything about cars and engines and both Kurt and his father loves it. His father because he gets to teach Kurt about his true passion and Kurt because his father is so happy and proud of him. That summer they grow even closer and Kurt comes out as gay to his father. His father just smiles at him and tells him he has known since Kurt was only three and all he wanted for his birthday was a pair of "sensible heels" something he had gotten for Christmas the same year.
Summer ends fast though and soon enough he is back in his hell hole only three more years to go. This year however the jocks seam to have stepped up to a new level of harassment towards him and all the other losers in school. All though he is the loser. He starts everyday with a toss into the dumpster by the football team, lead by Noah Puckerman and Finn Hudson. Even though it looks like that Finn guy wants to be elsewhere when ever it is time for the usual throw. If Kurt is lucky the garbage bags won't leak and leave smelly stains on his clothes and he will land fairly soft and be fairly dry when he climbs out. Sometimes Finn even holds his jacket or bag.
Once though the only thing in the dumpster is a bag of aluminum tins and Kurt ends up spraining his ankle and cutting his forearm badly. By the time the jocks have left and Kurt has managed to climb out on his injured foot, the blood is every where and he is forced to limp to the nurses office, cradling his arm tightly against his chest, ruining his favorite shirt. She immediately sits him down on a chair and presses down hard on his arm and then someone gives him a ride to the hospital where he is stitched up and given a blood transfusion, his mind being slightly blurry all the time. After that incident he is not allowed to go to school for a few days but Kurt doesn't mind.. It is kind of nice not having to climb out of a dumpster for a couple of days. He won't probably even manage anyway. Not with his arm covered with a white bandage and his ankle still sore. When he finally is allowed to go back things just go back to normal and he can only hope it will take some time before something like this happens again.
Then there is the slushies which sometimes is even worse than the dumpster dives. Especially the cherry flavored ones. The cold liquid making the way down your face and even down your pants is anything but pleasant. How ever, Kurt isn't the only one getting slushied. The school's glee club always seams to get there daily slushy too and sometimes they help each other getting the ice out of their hair. Kurt likes the people at glee. They are not his friends but they are also the only ones that don't hate him. Sometimes one of them, Kurt thinks her name is Mercedes, smiles at him when ever they meet each other. They don't share any classes though.
After his dumpster accident his father has been more worried about him, and therefor, Kurt is more eager than ever to cover up all tracks of the bullying. He is good at hiding and can fool any one to believe he isn't bothered, when in real life the crap in school starts to eat at him every day. Sometimes he just wishes he would be someone else. Anyone else really apart from the only openly gay kid in a school full of homo phobic's jerks that barely can spell to the word themselves.
"What's the matter fag? Didn't your mother tell you fucking men is a fucking disgusting, disturbed sin?"
"We don't want any homos in our school"
"Some day your gonna end up dead and ass raped by someone who truly understands what you deserves"
Kurt flinches at every word, at every note he gets I his locker, but he keep his head high as he meets his bullies' faces every day. He will never let them have the satisfaction of seeing him crumble and the tears won't fall until he is safe in his room with the sobs muffled by the pillow he had showed into his mouth. The relationship with his father that had been so strong during the beginning of the school year gets a bit weaker with every lie that is told. Kurt lies to his father that nothing is wrong and Burt lies to his son, pretending he doesn't see how sad Kurt has gotten all of a sudden. They still have the movie nights but most of the time Kurt will leave half way through claiming he is tired while kissing his father good night before heading downstairs to his room.
"I think they are wrong!"
It is one of the days when Mercedes helps him get the slushie out of his hair.
"Sorry what?" Kurt looks up and Mercedes smiles slightly, handing him the towel.
"What they do to you. We all see it you know. And everybody knows. I'm in the glee club so I get parts of it. Not nearly as bad a you though. It's not fair. I wish I could help but-"
"But sticking up would leave you the target" Kurt mumbles. He understands that there is nothing she can do but is thankful for the girl's words anyway.
"It's okay"
"It's not, and that what's makes it even worse."
Mercedes leaves the bathroom and Kurt doesn't see her for another few days. When he does it is in the canteen. She smiles and waves at him before sitting down beside her friends in the glee club. Kurt hasn't had the courage yet to ask if it is okay if he sits with them and she hasn't offered yet so Kurt keeps to himself at lunch, spending most of the time in the library anyway where he reads or studies with the headphones in his ears singing along with the music. In the library he feels safe.
Months goes on and Kurt continues to concentrate on his study and the jocks continue to make his life hell by never stopping the bullying even for a day or two. He gets his dumpster dives, slushies and throws into lockers everyday. Not even once, someone stands up for him and the teachers choose to ignore.
He turns sixteen in late may. Sweet sixteen is something you should spend with all your friends and it is the parties everybody talks about in school. All though Kurt is never invited and his own sweet sixteen is spent with his dad at a restaurant in Lima, after that they goes to the movies. He gets a pair of new jeans, a pair of ray bans and a big black navigator way to expensive for his father to buy but his father has probably used all his savings for this, just to make sure Kurt get that birthday everybody wants and Kurt can't be more happy.
Sophomore year is almost over when things get out of control one day and he is violently tackled during PE, by one of his biggest bullies David Karofsky. He is always one to take everything a little further and it is always his slushies that damage Kurt's clothes the most and his locker slams that leaves the deepest bruises that will stay for ever. And of course it is going to be him who breaks Kurt's leg by running over him during a game of indoor soccer.
"Move it lady!" Karaofsky snarls and his tall body, twice the size of Kurt's one practically runs over Kurt causing him to fall to the ground with his left leg awkwardly bent under him. Kurt is sure the whole class can hear the snap as the bone breaks. The pain however overwhelms, him sending heated waves through his body making him both dizzy and nauseous.
"Oh sorry didn't see you there, lady face" Karofsky laughs as he walks away.
The coach is at his side in a few seconds ordering him to lay down before he passes out. Kurt tries to tell him that he is fine and just need some help to stand but dizziness gets even worse when he opens his mouth.
Th coach helps Kurt lay back on the floor and puts a towel under his head. Kurt feels all the stares and has never been more embarrassed in his life. All the student's just watches him like he is some sort of idiot and all Kurt wants is to either die right then and there or for his dad to pick him up and then maybe drive him to hospital. But according to the coach there is no way they can move him without hurting him further and apparently one of the girls in the class is already calling for an ambulance.
His dad isn't furious, but sad when he gets to the hospital half an hour after Kurt arrived. He demands Kurt to tell him what happened but by that time Kurt is so high on pain killers he can't even think properly and the hospital staff tells his dad the "accidental-tackle-in-pe-history". By the time they get to go home Kurt is tired and his father won't push it further by asking more question. He just helps Kurt into the sofa and puts on another movie.
As it is only a couple of weeks left of the term his father and the teachers see no reasons for Kurt to go back since his leg is still healing. Parts of Kurt is bothered with that because somehow it makes the bullies win but to please his father he agrees and spends the next few weeks in the sofa in front of the tv and he soon know every commercial by heart.
It takes him a month and a half to get rid of the cast and the crutches and then another month and a half of rehabilitation until his leg is completely healed which means by that time it's time for school again.
Junior year proves to be his worst so far.
Only a couple of weeks into the new term, something terrible happens. It is a normal day and Kurt has a free period in the morning and delivers his dad some breakfast at the garage. His father is grumpy though and snappy which ends in an argument and Kurt leaves with out saying bye. Four hours later he sits in the hospital waiting room. The nurses at the hospital kindly explains that his father is in a coma and they can't now when he will wake up.
He spends the rest of his day with a deadly tight grip to his fathers limp hand while the tears run down his face. He begs for forgiveness, tells his father over and over how sorry he is. No matter how many nurses tell him it's not his fault and even his fathers strange behavior can be explained by the heart attack, Kurt feels like it is utterly his fault. When it is way past visiting hours, the nurses forces him to leave and asks him if he has anywhere to stay. He lies and tells them that someone is picking him up but ends up walking for 45 minutes in the rain. And when he get's home he curls up in the sofa and cries himself to sleep in his wet clothes.
The next weeks are hell. His dad is not waking up and he has no one to talk to. No one. The bullies are using is fathers illness as a way to get to him. Their words are evil and no matter how hard he tries to shake them away, they manage to bring him down every single time. He stops eating lunch and won't even start again when his father finally wakes up after nearly three weeks in a coma. When he does Kurt takes care of him when he get's home, he cooks him healthy meals even though he won't eat anything himself. He helps out in the garage for hours after school and him and his dad manage to brig back some of that closeness day used to have. Even though Kurt doesn't tell his dad about the bullying because he is too afraid his dad''s heart will break again.
Kurt can't believe it when junior year is finally over and there is only one more year left until he is free. He applies for several collages both fashion and music even though he doubts he will have a shot at music. Senior year is much calmer than all the other years and Kurt thankfully thinks that it is because everyone is too busy with their own futures. He count's each day and tells his father every day how happy he will be on graduation day and his father keeps smiling at him and tells him how proud he is to have a son like Kurt.
What Kurt doesn't know hen is that he will never have the change to graduate.
Only two months before graduation day he has to stay in school and finish something in the library and by he time he is done school is out and the corridors empty. As he walks through the quiet corridors he is suddenly dragged into one of the locker rooms by his arm. A huge hand is put over his mouth as if he would scream. He is slammed against one of the lockers but he is so used to that kind of pain by now it doesn't bother him all that much as he is faced with Karofsky. His one and only favorite bully. Karofsky is particularly angry with him today and his eyes are pitch black and his face red.
"You made me like this you filthy fag" A huge arm suddenly presses against his neck and he can't breathe for a couple of seconds.
"What do you mean?" The fear is in his voice even though he tries to sound like his normal self.
"Don't you dare talk to me like you know nothing"
He truly has know clue what the bigger boy is talking about and the anger and hate in the other boys eyes frighens him.
"You are too faggy with all of your tight jeans and faggy clothes. You made me this way and..."
Suddenly he feels lips pressing hard against his. Really hard. He tries to pull away but the other boy is to strong and it isn't until the other boy pulls away from him that he mangages to push their faces apart.
"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" An angry fist hits the locker behind his head and he jumps in fear.
"I...Just let me go...please" He whimpers.
"NO!" The other boy shouts and pins him hard against the locker again. "If I let you go you will tell everyone. I know you faggot"
Karofsy pants in anger and relises his iron grip on Kurt abit and Kurt sees his chance and elbows Karofsky in the face and knees him in the gut. Then he heads for the door but before he can escape a strong hand grabs hold of him and turns him around.
The movement is fast, almost as if it has been practiced before. The sharp knife slices through is already scared arm and he cries out in pain. Barely a second later the same sharp pain rips through his side again and again before he falls to his knees. The whole attack is over in less then a minute and Kurt would have laughed at that if the pain didn't made him breathless. His head is swimming and his world dimmed with tears of pain. Somehow he manages to stand up, heavily supported by the wall. His legs almost buckles when he tries to take a step and a bloodied hand grabs the wall leaving a smeared, red hand print.
Every step is blind torture. One hand to his stomach trying to stop the blood from spilling out of him. The other holding on to the wall for support. What would normally be a one minute walk takes him almost ten. Eight to be precisely and with every step he is sure he will fall again.
The school is out and there is no one there to help him even though he doesn't think anyone would help him anyway. Just as he is about to give up and fall to his knees he hears the music. The choir room is not that far away and maybe, just maybe, he can get there before his body gives out. Maybe they will help out.
Kurt looks down. His blue jeans are covered in dark blood and so is his gray shirt. Even though he tries to keep the blood from pouring out of him there is not much he can do about it. The knife is still jagged in his side. And it's protruding from his body in a sick looking way, the blood around it extra dark. He has to stop and then grab the wall with both of his hand to keep his body to collapse on the floor. If he falls now, he will never be able to stand up again. He closes is eyes and blinks several times to get rid of the dizziness but nothing helps. He is so tired. It's a bit sad he thinks, that the last place he will ever see is the walls of the place he hates. And he will be alone.
There is only a few steps left before he can reach the door and the song is louder than before. He has to try. Right? For his father? For him? He has to try to survive and if he only gets into that room there is still a chance. Even if by the looks of it most of Kurt's blood is on his clothes now. His bloody hand reaches for the door handle. He tries to pull it down put misses but the music in there has stopped so maybe if he tries again. This time he manages to open the door. His somehow brings all of his last energy to take a few steps into the room. For a few seconds everything is so quiet and peaceful. No body moves No body speaks.
Why won't they help? Can't they see the blood? He is so dizzy. Too dizzy to take another step, too tired to keep himself up right. He stretches out one hand, the other still tightly held to his side were the blood is seeping out. Just as his knees are about to buckle and his about to fall to the ground, strong arms catches him. He is gently lowered to the ground, hands move along his side. He moans in pain and new tears from in his eyes.
"Please..." He whispers.
With that his eyes closes and his body goes totally limp and he is no longer aware of whats going on around him.
Different pairs of hands run over him. Someone rips of a shirt and applies it to one of the wounds. Someone grabs his bloody hand and holds it. Some one call for an ambulance frantically screaming into the phone to hurry. Of that Kurt knows nothing about.
He doesn't feel the hands that pump on his chest in a try to save his life, ending up breaking more than a few ribs. He doesn't feel the air that is forced into his lung by one of the Glee guys. His body is jerking with every compression but the hands only stops to allow air to be forced into his lungs.
The CPR continues for over five minutes until the ambulance arrives and the EMT's take over. They put a tube down his throat, tape it stuck on his cheeks. His body is cold and shaking and they waist no time in putting him on the stretcher and wrap him with blankets. The hand that has been holding on to him for all this time is finally forced to let go as he is carried out of school and rushed to hospital with sirens waling all over the streets of Lima.
The next day the teachers takes an extra five minutes before classes starts to inform the students that Kurt Hummel had died the night before. Most of the student's are just chocked. Sitting quiet in their seats with blank expressions on their faces. Some, maybe a lab partner or just someone Kurt had talked to the other day cries silently. Even the jocks are quiet. Maybe even they understand that pulling a joke at this point would be really inappropriate or maybe even they feel something inside them too. Rumors travel about this as soon as first period ends and it is all that is heard for the rest of the day. There is a minute of silence in the canteen at lunch where everybody is asked to think about Kurt's family and friends who have a really hard time right now. Though all the students, and probably all the teachers too, knows that there only is a dad.
A dad who had come running through the hospital doors half an hour after Kurt had been brought in. By that time Kurt had already been dead. Mr Shue had tried to hold the man upright as he collapsed to the news of his son's dead but this man was twice as big as him and they had both tumbled to the floor with a thud. Sob's had wrecked the body of the man and Mr Shue had tried to bring some comfort to the stranger in front of him by rubbing circles on the shaking back.
It is also Mr Shue who volunteers on clearing Kurt's locker and drive the 20 minutes drive to Kurt's dad's house with the half full box of things that was to be found in Kurt's locker. A few books. A few pens, the latest number of Vouge and a plastic bag containing a knitted cardigan drained with green slushie. When Burt opens the door and sees Mr Shue he simply lets him in and shows him downstairs to Kurt's room not wanting to enter himself.
"My boy was just the sweetest, kindest kid ever. He so kind hearted and he never hurt anyone. And now he is dead because some one in school hated him. I don't understand how a kid can hate another kid" Kurt's dad mumbles as Mr Shue is about to leave.
Mr Shue doesn't know what to answer to that.
The next few days are a bit chaotic for everybody in Lima. It is all over the news. The reporters call it a hate crime. "The boy who was murder at his own school" is soon news all over the country. The glee club is still chocked about what has happened and there is no a permanent stain in their choir room to remind them that Kurt had walked in to their room with his side drained in blood and his skin ghostly white. It had been, Mr Shue who had captured him when he fell, Mr Shue who had done chest compressions while Mercedes held the boys hand and Mike breathed for him. Mr Shue wonders if he will ever forget about the they when he held a dying kid in his arms, if he will ever forget the day when he had to comfort a dad that couldn't stop crying hysterically. Probably not.
Burt plans the funeral which is held two weeks after it happens. He plans the music and the flowers and decides to go with a black casket with white Lilys. Kurt always hated roses cause they were tacky and cliché like. It should be simple and beautiful. Just what Kurt wanted.
Burt stands out side of the church in the same tuxedo that he wore for his wife's funeral. The church is empty since both Burt and Elisabeth are only child's and their parents long ago passed away.
There is an aunt somewhere in California but since Kurt never even met her Burt sees no point in inviting her. Five minutes before the service is about to begin the church is still empty and the minister kindly asks if Burt wants to wait or if he wants to start earlier. Burt just shrugs. Kurt never had friends and he knows it won't be anyone else there. He follows the minister into the church and takes his seat nearest the alter and Kurt's casket. His eyes goes through the program sheet even if he is the one who have decided everything. He is gonna keep it short. Just a few words from the minister. A few of Kurt's favorites songs. Then they will go outside, lower Kurt's coffin to the ground. He will put his flowers next to wear the stone will be in a few weeks. Then he will go home, go through Kurt's room and but everything in to boxes.
Just as the minister is about to take place by the alter the door in the back opens. When Burt turn's around he is met by seven people all dressed in black. He recognizes the eldest as the person who had been in the ER the night Kurt died. The others are young. Maybe Kurt's age. Burt figures they must be kids from school.. They sit down a couple of rows behind him but the teacher, Burt remember him as William, sits down to the left of him. As the minister begins his speech about love and memories begin to overwhelm him, he finds Williams hand in his. He cries quietly as the speakers play Kurt's favorite song. Then he slowly walks towards the coffin and places a single red flower on it. He stands there for a few minutes until the songs ebbs out.
"I love you, Kurt. I love you so much" He whispers
Mr Shue leads him out of the church with the kids following close by. They all look sad and they have all been crying, Burt notices when they step out in day light. They lower Kurt to the ground and Burt gently puts down Kurt's MP3 player and head phones so that Kurt has something to listen to.
A black girl approaches him with tears in her eyes.
"I'm so sorry Mr Hummel" She starts. "I really wish I've had a change to get to know Kurt better. He was always really kind to me. I'm sorry you lost your son, Mr Hummel. I didn't get to know him all that well but I know he was a great person"
Burt nods.
"He was. He's the best part of me. I love him more than I love anything else in the world"
She cries even more at that. The she turns around to follow her friends who are waiting for her.
"What's your name?" He asks feeling he has to know.
"I'm Mercedes and this is Rachel, Artie, Mike, Tina and Matt. We. I think we all shared the same thoughts of Kurt. We didn't know him that well but he was always very kind to us" She nods towards the other kids.
An Asian man speaks out.
"I'm Mike. I helped Mr Shue with CPR on Kurt. I'm sorry it wasn't enough. We did what we could to save him"
Burt smiles weakly towards them.
"I know you did. I'm glad he wasn't alone. You are- it's nice of you to be here today. I know Kurt would be happy to. He always wanted that. To have some friends."
They leave after that and William gives him a ride home. Burt sits quiet in the passenger seat and watches the world flutter outside the window. It's not until William stops oustide of the familiar huse that he reacts.
"Will you be okay?" William asks.
"I've just burried my only son. The only thing I had left. The only person that meant something to me. My son who was stabbed to death in school by the same boy that broke his leg and bullied him everyday just because my son was different. There was barley anyone at his funeral because Kurt didn't have any friends. Not because he wasn't friendly but because nobody wanted to be his friend because he liked boys instead of girls and because he liked fashion. Now I have to go through his room. But everything in to boxes because I can't leave his room like this as if I'm waiting for him to come home. I will have to call and try to refund the tickets I have for us to New York. I have to cancel his phone card and all the magazines he used to read. I can't even cook so I don't know I will do it now that he is dead. My son is gone. He won't come back and there is no way I can get him back. I will never be okay"
With that he gets out of the car and it is the last time anyone really sees him. A few weeks later they learn that he has moved from Ohio. To where no body knows. A rumors says he lives in New York.
Oh this was abit sad and awkward I think. I don't know why I needed to be so depressing but well let's be thankful Glee is the way it is :D
SO tell me you liked it? Yes? No? I thought so much about wether to publish ths or not but I have but so much energy to it and worked many hours on it so I have to at least try. Like I said I don't know why this came to me but there was certain parts that I needed to write and so this story was born. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know if you liked or not. It would make me so so happy! :D
XXX