Chapter Information: Roxas is a gray-asexual, demiromantic trans boy with a simple binder, and no sources for getting hormones or surgery. Ventus is an asexual cisgender. Axel is a demisexual genderqueer. Xion is a pansexual cisgender.

Chapter Warnings: Trans characters, misgendering, depictions of potential verbal abuse/mental illnesses/eating habits, drug mentions/implications.

A/N: Sometimes I instantly regret the words that come out of my mouth.

Chapter 1: End of June, Here Comes Summer

– June 24th, into June 25th

Roxas knew his life was in shambles the minute he stared at his iPod's screen, seeing the time change from 11:59pm to 12:00am.

It was now June 25th, the day he had so dreadfully had to prepare himself for. In the next seven hours, he had to get up, be ready, neatly dressed and donning a very mature look, for the day he oh so despised had become his reality – Graduation day of high school, and ironically his birthday as well.

Roxas for one, was a person who had come to dislike celebrating his birthday. It had become extremely tiresome around his thirteenth year. He had taken to adopting the all too pessimistic thought, for someone his age at the time, that birthdays are petty excuses for people to feel important. But he was the biggest hypocrite he knew, because when it came to the birthdays of friends, he wanted to make them feel as special as he knew they were – even if he could never afford a gift.

The fact that he shared his birthday with another event he didn't have tolerance for, was all the more reason why he found himself tossing and turning under his covers, staring into the darkness of his room. He shuffles his legs around awkwardly, before sighing into nothingness.

Graduation meant independence, future, college, and new beginnings. The blonde knew that he was a tragic mess throughout his senior year because he never filled out college applications and had no clue what to do with himself or his potential future. Sure, he had passing grades to get him into a decent college that would look good on job applications, but he knew and remembered that right at the beginning of his final year, he had no fucking idea what to do with himself – and he was sure he got that point across to his counselor whenever he got called in about applications, albeit incredibly indirectly.

Roxas moves for his iPod, typing his passcode in before deciding he wouldn't, he couldn't sleep, and proceeded to read even as the sun rose, until promptly passing out around 6:00am.

His alarm blares at 7:00am on the dot, and he couldn't hate himself more.

– June 25th, 6:40pm

He screwed everything up. God, he was so royally damned by his own decisions. Why, why, why.

Roxas sat in the van awkwardly with his family, his older brother Ventus sparing him pitiful looks before mouthing an 'I'm so sorry' before shifting his gaze to the back of their mother's seat. The ride home was so deafeningly silent, the renounced graduate biting back tears from his own foolishness. 'Why did I think that was an okay idea,' Roxas berated himself internally. 'I wish this day would already end.' He closed his eyes promptly shut as he recalled all the events of the day that led him to his position.

The day had started with his parents spoiling him, buying him his favorite coffee and then talking to him about college plans. The conversation that morning was brief after Roxas admitting he wanted to take a year gap to try and find himself and what he wanted to do, but left a bitter taste in his mouth the moment the words left his lips. Their parents knew about his lack of applications, and though they were disappointed in him, they knew there was nothing they could do now, for it was too late at the time to get him to fill anything out.

The next thing was his graduation gown. Although his parents said nothing of it, he was antsy and paranoid. He wanted to curl up in a ball and just rot on the ground when he realized his name would be called during a public ceremony, with all eyes on him, and majority of the people that knew him didn't know a select detail about him, save for a select handful.

Roxas always introduced himself as Roxas, always taken the liberty of telling his teachers right away before roll calls that it's the name he wants to be called, and not Namine. No one except his close friends knew his real name because he told them he was Roxas, a boy, during his freshman year. So the blonde knew he would be outing himself as trans with his purple gown draped on him. Even if that's what he wanted, now that he was faced with the day he thought would be good, he realized the moment he stepped out of his family's van that he was in no way ready for curious looks to be directed on him. (Eyes that burned holes in his body... Finding every flaw... His deepest secrets...)

It was worse afterwords. Roxas got his seat wrong during the ceremony, and had to ask a teacher to help him look for the correct area as the valedictorian made their speech. He knew he made a fool of himself as he was surrounded by white gowns, the girls' color. Roxas really wanted to become non-existent right then and there.

It became a living nightmare all too soon. To top it off, once he was on the line for diplomas, the teacher at the mic had asked for his name, which threw him off completely – and seeing as though he was currently running on a single hour of sleep, he thought it was a good idea to tell the adult that his name was Roxas.

'Roxas L. Dubois' was said into the mic, and though he heard his friends cheering for him, it registered right at that moment that he made the absolute worst decision of his life.

Head bowed to hide the tears straining his eyes, he hastily grabbed his diploma and power walked to his seat, thinking about the sort of talk that was awaiting him for when he got home.

Which was where he was now.

"I can't believe you Namine," Roxas's mother yelled at him, as he bit his lip to silence the whimper threatening to escape. "We do everything for you, we treated you so nicely today and this is how you repay us? With this joke? Do you know how embarrassed your father and I were? Your little stunt ruined the moment we wanted to capture, I hope you're proud of yourself."

And Roxas tried – he tried so hard to say he didn't mean to ruin their moment, that he wasn't thinking rationally, but he couldn't find the courage. "I'm sorry," he murmured weakly, as if everything will turn out okay if he said it.

"'Sorry' will never undo the things you've done today."

And for two weeks, his parents didn't talk him.

– June 26th

Roxas had planned out things for him to keep himself busy with. He proposed art projects, video game marathons, cartoon binges, and Skyping friends.

The blonde took most of the time that day to tell his close friends about what happened the day before, and received comforting words in return. Roxas was eternally grateful. He couldn't fathom how kind people like Axel and Xion were. He was so lucky to have them as friends.

Feeling a tad more cheerful, Roxas decided to open one of his favorite social media sites, only to be greeted with a notification. Checking it, he was surprised to see a gift from his long distance friend, Sora. It was a cute piece of art, thoughtfully drawn with a kind message from brunet that he wished him well and that he hoped the blonde boy liked his hand crafted gift him.

Sora was wonderful. Even if Roxas hadn't directly told him what happened, it was like the boy miles and miles away already knew he needed something like this. Happiness bubbling within his chest and tears of joy straining the corners of his eyes, he typed out a grateful and rather overly excited thank you message.

– June 29th

Roxas turned off his iPod and let out a sigh. Though he was a person who preferred quiet environments, home wasn't really where he wanted it to be silent. Especially with how tense things were. It was a little... demeaning, if Roxas could find a better word. His parents would come home from work day to day, greet his brother Ventus politely and then nothing else was said. Not a word or a disgusted glare towards Roxas. It was like he didn't exist. And it hurt him more than he thought it would.

He thought of talking more with his friends over Skype, but decided against it. Maybe he was burdening them. Roxas was fully aware of the problems Axel has on their own, and Xion also enjoys spending time with her boyfriend, Riku. He didn't want to intrude in their personal space so much. Sora also seemed distant, wavering in and out of online activity. The benevolent brunet probably had a lot to keep him busy.

So Roxas kept to himself, and began to hole himself up in his dark room – not having the energy to feed himself, to go out on walks through the town, or to just watch some television while his parents were off at work.

The projects he laid out for himself remain untouched and forgotten.

– July 1st

He found himself in the confides of Ventus's room that day. They both sat awkwardly together as the older blonde played a game, and the younger watching.

"I keep disappointing everyone," Roxas felt the words tumble out that day, voice breaking repeatedly. "I'm a constant disappointment to this family and I don't even know why I try."

Ventus could only look at him, a sympathetic look in his eyes as he couldn't find words to say.

– July 2nd

Roxas found himself outside on the apartment patio, knees to his chest as he played his hand held game, a glossed look in his eyes.

"What are you doing out here?" he heard his mother say.

The blonde shot daggers back to her. "You're talking to me?"

The vague look of concern on her face was instantly replaced with a look of disgust. "How dare you."

– July 3rd

He overheard his parents talking about him behind closed doors.

"...And then she said 'you're talking to me?'" his mother bitterly mocked.

"You should have hit her. I would have." his father ground out.

– July 4th

It was by this day that Ventus exasperatedly look at Roxas and said, "Don't you think it's time to stop this?"

"What?" Roxas looked up from his iPod.

"This... constant..." Ventus paused his game to look at his younger brother with an unreadable face. "This skittering around you and our parents are doing."

"I don't think they really want anything to do with me right now." the drained teen mumbled dejectedly.

"...Mom asks me about you, y'know. She's asking why you haven't apologized to her." the older twin said softly. Roxas's head snaps up to look at Ventus, who bore a face of stress and pain.

"What," Roxas felt something boil in his body.

"Roxas...Can't you go apologize to her? Please?" the older twin pleaded softly. "This tension is beyond horrible, for all of us, and it's starting to eat away at me that I've always been the messenger between you and Mom whenever you two have a spat..."

The younger twin's eyes grew aflame. "Me? Me, apologize? After the kind of shit she gave me that day? You don't even think she's wrong in the things she said?" Roxas clenched and unclenched his fists. "At least I know how to own up to my mistakes and all the things I've done wrong. At least I know when I'm wrong!"

"Roxa –"

"What should I be apologizing for? The fact that I wanted to use the name I preferred during a special event that I was involved in? That I ruined whatever moment that she wanted to pride herself in? That her precious, precious daughter was going to be the next trophy she and Dad show off?! I absolutely loathe graduation, but I'm pretty sure that day I was on the field, not her!" Roxas nearly screamed. "The least she could've done was ignore me for a day or two, and then reluctantly be neutral about this like she does with every other fight we have!"

"Roxas, please –" Ventus, heartbroken, tried to reach for his brother's shoulder, only to have it smacked back at him.

"Shut your fucking mouth," Roxas spat lowly as he got up to leave. "I can't believe you'd side with her, even when she hasn't been picture perfect with you, either."

– July 5th

'i want to come over' Roxas texted his friend Axel, on the tenth day of parental isolation.

'sure man. what time? are your parents cool with it?' Axel responded moments after.

Roxas sucked in a breath. Would his parents care if he went out? Could they care at this point? What if they just continued to be like this for the rest of his life? A part of him really wanted for them to care, but if they couldn't at least support the idea of calling him 'Roxas' like he pleaded once on his fifteenth birthday, how could they care now?

'i told you about our current status' Roxas numbly replied. 'i dont think they would care rn. u think u could pick me up on friday at 4'

'alright' Axel simply texted back.

Roxas lowered the screen from his face, only to receive another message. Curiously, he unlocked his device. It was from Axel again.

'i'm inviting xion too! cant have a session without her jsyk ;) get ready to smoke yourself sensless'

For the first time in days, Roxas cracked a smile.

– July 7th, 2:15pm

"Mom knows you're going to Axel's today," Ventus said softly on the twelfth day as he and his younger brother were eating lunch.

Roxas shot Ventus the nastiest glare he could manage. His older brother flinched, already seeing the threatening accusation in the smaller's dark ocean irises.

"I-I... told her..." the older blonde admitted weakly.

"Why the hell would you tell her that?" Roxas seethed.

"She's not..." Ventus started. "She... wants you to... ask Dad."

"Dad?" the younger blonde's anger was halted, not expecting such a response. Their dad had been so eerily silent throughout this time, even to Ventus. The man always murmured a soft greeting to the older teen, as if not wanting Roxas to hear. He knew their dad is probably upset too, but where exactly did he stand in this, the younger twin had to wonder. "Um... Okay. I guess..."

As Roxas got up to dump the rest of his food, no longer having the will to force himself to eat, Ventus called out his name, making the younger twin look at him with a neutral gaze.

"I'm sorry," he said lowly, full of guilt.

Hearing the front door open, both twins panic and look at each other, before Ventus hops off his chair to go greet their father. Roxas takes the time to sneak pass them to get his bag so he can get it over with. He closes his room's door, and steels his gaze as he fixes it on his approaching father. The young blonde didn't know exactly how their father felt, but he knew that when it came to someone like that man, he couldn't avoid him much longer, no matter how much time he spent in his room. Roxas strides for the door, seemingly interrupting the small talk between Ventus and their father.

It's in that moment that finally, after neglecting Roxas's existence, the man looks at the young blonde, with a dubious look.

"I'm going to Axel's," Roxas said, defiantly looking straight into his fathers stern glare. He sees the man's wrinkles become more defined.

"Really?" his father nearly bit out.

"Yes. I'm going now."

"Really," the man said, skeptical and as if he were going to do something.

"Yes," and with that, he brushes past the adult, casting an apologetic look at Ventus before slamming the door shut behind him.