Rachel Berry had a problem…..She was 16 years old…..And she was no longer in her body….. well. It was her body, but not hers…..She wasn't a she anymore….. it was a male version of herself she supposed, complete with well… maleness! She knew now that the phrase be careful what you wish for was chillingly true. She had wished for something different, anything different, anything to stop her from continuing on in her pathetic existence as it was. And yes she might have wished for temporary penis once, only once, and she was really drunk and Quinn Fabray was cuddling with her and kept nibbling on her ear, giggling while playing with Rachel's hair before falling asleep with her head on Rachel's lap. (Apparently the girl got extremely friendly when drunk…..but that was already quite apparent after the baby gate drama.) Santana had taken pictures for blackmail and Brittany asked if she could join in if we decide to have sex because she thought both of us were hot… and now it was her Birthday today as well and she had chosen a trip to the central of all theme parks right here in Ohio with her fathers, however now she just wanted to crawl into bed and pretend this was all a really bad dream. She looks at the dark brown stubble growing on her chin in total bewilderment. WHY DOES HER LIFE SUCK SO BAD!
"Rachel are you ok? I thought I heard you shout." Her Daddy came into the room before she could respond or hide. "AHH! Oh my god!"
"Ahhh!" the two matching manly shouts caused her other dad to peak his head in the door.
"OH SHIT! Rachel? Oh no! This cannot be happening!" He started mumbling to himself after his outburst, the other two looking at him in shock wondering if he knew anything to explain this.
"Um… I kind of went to a mystic and….. asked for a birthday wish for Rachel. I don't know if that is how this happened or not….. That is you Rachel?" He squinted at the tan male.
"YES DAD! OBVIOUSLY! OH MY GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DID THIS! I HATE YOU! MAKE IT GO AWAY!" Rachel shouted, which was actually pretty intimidating because she was just over six feet tall.
"um. I can't…. I honestly don't know… I didn't actually expect it to work! And you were the one who wished to be a boy for some reason!" he retorted.
"Rachel honey is there something you want to talk to us about?" Her other dad chimed in wondering why his daughter would wish to be a man.
"Oh my god! You two are unbelievable. It's my Birthday and now my life is ruined! I did NOT wish for this! I have often had a curiosity about what it would like to be a man but that is perfectly natural and Quinn Fabray was drunkenly BLOWING and nibbling on my EAR! You would have to be a statue to not react to that!" She huffed.
"Oh dear….. Quinn …. Quinn who was made your life a living hell since middle school? Quinn… Fabray?" her daddy breathed out the last word like it was a curse word. Let's just say he knew Russell Fabray fairly well and wished he didn't.
"I can't help that she has absolutely perfect bone structure….. and her voice should be illegal it's so perfectly seductive and soothing.…And I'm not even gay! I don't think. I mean I never really gave it much concern. I just couldn't stop thinking about her after that stupid party when she decided not to insult me as usual and that apparently I was a good cuddle option. Stupid friendly drunk." Rachel murmured. "However, we have a much bigger problem….. WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO DO! School starts in less than a week and although I hope that we can fix this little problem before then….. I am currently overwhelmed." Rachel started to tear up and her fathers comforted her assuring her they would try their hardest to fix it and being a guy wasn't all that bad…. To which she just started bawling.
Rachel insisted in still going to the theme park for the day and was happy to just not care about her "situation" for now and leave it to later… It was enough to discover her knew skin and she discovered she LOVED being tall… and the fact that she got to pee standing up….. pretty awesome….. although she hated the way she would sweat and her facial hair….. and other hair….. GROSS!
She was doing a successful job of forgetting that she might not ever be able to be a woman again, going into the water ride section, when she saw them… She saw Santana first, she was standing in line for cotton candy looking bored and annoyed as usual. She was in a black bikini for the water rides, and because she could… OH SHIT! Rachel just knew this wouldn't end up well… SHIT! She turned to run away as far as possible because where there was Santana there would be….Ow. She looked down to see who she had accidentally just bowled over, to find herself confronted with a confused Brittany and a most likely pissed Quinn on the ground. She knew she had to act fast. Just apologize and MOVE.
"Oh I am so sorry. Please accept my sincerest apologies. I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you hurt?" she helped Quinn up. Quinn apparently was wearing a pink bikini, and Brittany a yellow one, with ducks… Rachel wondered where she had managed to find it and if it was special ordered.
"No. Just watch where you're going next time." Quinn said nicely, leaning in toward Rachel slightly, her tone taking the bite out of her words completely. She was smiling. "I'm Quinn. And you are?" Rachel must have been dreaming… or was Quinn Fabray actually sort of flirting with her…. No NO NO! She had to get out of here. The bikinis and the Quinn smile and her almost seductive voice, she just had to get out of there NOW!
"I'm glad you're ok. um…. I'm Liam….. It was nice to meet you. I actually have to go, I need to find my…. cousin…." She finished lamely as she rushed away hearing Brittany say "He was totally cute" and Quinn murmur slightly before she was out of earshot. She was confused about this feeling she got, down there, and hoped it wasn't what she thought it was….. after going to the bathroom, she realized that it was exactly what she thought it was….. Damn girls in bikini's, couldn't have worn a one piece, just had to flaunt completely the fact that you are perfection itself. She quickly thought of staying a man for the rest of her life and the problem was quickly taken care of, fear worked apparently.
She was fortunate enough to not to run into the girls again for the day. Her father had no luck with the mystic, who it apparently seemed never existed… at least according to public record. And by the fourth day she knew she had to talk to her dad's about schooling. Being of another gender did not mean she couldn't pursue her dreams of Broadway, and get her diploma so she could go to Julliard. They decided she would enroll as her long lost cousin Liam (William) Berry, and have "Rachel" get transferred to an elite boarding school in New Hampshire, which was surprisingly easy to pull off. High school wouldn't really change all that much….. She would still have no friends, sing a lot, talk way too much, and avoid the cheerleading triumvirate at all costs, and probably Finn too, because that would just be creepy to be his friend, and she really thought he was dumb, even if in a sweet way. Puck would probably be a good friend, fellow Jew and if anyone could help her be a convincing manly man, it would be him. She decided that although her slight detest for his manwhoring and probably mediocre at best conversational skills, he would be the one person she would seek out, and she should probably join the football team… maybe. She might be able to change her life, to be popular for once and not teased constantly. To reinvent herself! She got excited about this and decided she would take the part of her wish that actually could be granted if she decided to take it.
It was her first day at the new school. And she was so nervous. Her fathers had taken her shopping for appropriate boy clothes, she made sure to buy "cool" outfits, she had even spent the last few days practicing being manly, but she was still so scared. She immediately was on the lookout for any slushies so she could outrun them. She puffed her chest out proudly as she towered above almost all the girls and fit in among the boys, she was manly, and she would beat up anyone who dared to tease her.
During roll call in Spanish Mr. Schuester called her name and paused, he asked her if Rachel would be coming back to which she prompted she wasn't sure, that maybe she would if her new school didn't work out. He seemed very saddened, and Rachel couldn't help but be sad for him, but he would get a lead singer all right, she had also been practicing her singing as a man, and it wasn't too bad, she still had raw talent but it would take a while to get totally used to her knew range.
At lunch she didn't know where to sit….. she supposed it would be safest to try to sit by Noah…. He was a friendly chap when he wanted to be.
"Hello Noah I'm Liam Berry!" She stuck her hand out in greeting.
"How the hell did you know my name! And where the hell is Rachel? And dude call me Puck alright, only Rachel could get away with that shit and that is because she was a fellow hot Jew." he asked not totally unfriendly, but not to friendly either.
"um… Rachel would talk about you…. she said you were a cool dude to hang out with….Rachel transferred to a boarding school out of state. Can I sit here?" Noah grunted what sounded suspiciously like "free country" and so Rachel sat down, trying to not talk so much, guys were not so talky, right?
"Let me introduce you… Finn… Matt….." and so Puck went on making his new friend feel welcome.
"I was wondering about the football team. And glee… I heard that it was really cool. But Rachel said there could be some conflict sometimes and it might be hard to do both."
"Nah dude. You should totally do both….. I mean the hockey dudes like Azimio are pricks but most of the football team is ok. And glee is geeky but if you like singing it's your place." Finn said sagely.
"Yeah you should totally join! Did you play at your old school?" Puck asked.
"um…. No I've never really played football before, but I hope I can still join?" Rachel responded much to the surprise of everyone.
"it's ok dude, Basketball season isn't too far away." Finn said comfortingly.
"I've actually never play Basketball either." Rachel admitted, causing a total shocked reaction all around.
"WHAT! DUDE! Are you like gay or something? I mean you didn't look it but what kind of dude has never played B-ball!" Puck guffawed.
"Video games at least?" Finn asked, hoping the situation could be redeemed.
"um… I've played tetris on my computer?" Rachel blushed, this was going horribly, she knew she couldn't lie and get caught in it so she had decided on complete honesty and she would remedy what needed to be remedied.
"Oh No!"Puck groaned… "we need to teach you, guide you….. you are in serious need of guidance dude. But don't worry, when were done with you you'll be kicking so much ass! You have serious raw potential…." Puck said analyzing his new companion. "Your coming over to my house for dinner on Friday and we will totally have a weekend marathon of the new Halo! You're Jewish right? Cause my family goes to temple on Saturday night but it shouldn't be a problem cause you can always go home or something…. Whatever." Puck ended cooly, but his earlier excitement and hopeful eyes betrayed his interest.
"Yeah. Temple would be awesome… and Halo sounds cool." Rachel smiled at how endearing Puck could be, he seemed like a great friend to have, if you didn't happen to have a really hot girlfriend he would try to steal.
"So, what hotties are the at this school? What is the deal with that blonde with the hazel eyes rocking the cheerios uniform, she seems really cool, a little intimidating, but cool. I think her name was Quinn." I asked nonchalantly to see what they all thought of her. I would do Santana next…. What….. so I was curious.
"Quinn Fabray… righteous dude. You have good taste….. Easily the best dame in this joint, dated Finn for a while but then realized he's kind of a dumb butt sometimes. We had a thing once but alas she tried to tie down the Puckasaurus Rex, and that is not happening for at least 15 years, probably 20." Puck sighed dreamily, probably imagining his 20 years of living the bachelor playboy life.
"dude, I was asking about HER." Rachel pointed out chuckling.
"oh right, president of the celibacy club, and right now that seems totally legit, she hasn't put out for anybody. She basically rules this joint with an iron fist….. in a girly way. DON'T get on her bad side….. and oh my god she is coming over here!" Puck ran his fingers through his Mohawk in nervousness as Rachel went wide eyed. OH SHIT!
"Hi there….. Liam right? You seem familiar…. Didn't I literally bump into you at the amusement park last week?" Quinn said charmingly, damn the girl was good. Rachel had to think hard to remember all the mean things Quinn had said to her to not literally drool over her.
"uh…. Yeah… Liam Berry… I uh….. Sorry I had to run off like that… my cousin Rachel told me to meet her and I was late, and….. you know how Rachel gets about punctuality…" Rachel offered a small chuckle at herself.
"oh yeah….." Quinn said with a really weird expression on her face, like she was trying to figure out a really complex calc problem, or make a really hard decision, she then seemed to have decided something and smiled charmingly again and said, "You should try out glee. I'm sure Rachel would love to have her cousin with her. I haven't seen her around though. Do you know if she's sick or something?" Quinn asked with what was seemingly genuine concern. Huh… weird.
"um. She transferred to a school in another state….. I actually just moved here, so I haven't been really close with her other than holidays. I am interested in joining glee though." Rachel said, deciding that seemed like the best answer to avoid talking about herself with Quinn, which just seemed a little weird.
"Well if you ever need anyone to show you around….. I'd be more than happy to help you. Here's my number. I'd also look into the football team, as I'm sure Puck and Finn will tell you." Quinn took Rachel new non bedazzled manly phone from where it had been at the table and programmed her number in and smirked cutely before she left to go rejoin the cheerios. Rachel had no words….. This was just weird, but kind of wonderful. Quinn Fabray was interested in her. Talking to her. Hell flirting with her. And swishing her hips on her walk back with that short skirt showing her spankies underneath…Oh shit… that ….. man problem again… dead puppies…. Crap
And so it went. Rachel joined glee auditioning with a kick ass rendition of "You've Got to be Taught" from South Pacific. It helped with her confusion over Quinn, whom she had always been taught to fear and avoid and who had always been cruel to her, and who now she was having….. more than friendly feelings for…. It was so confusing.
Needless to say she got in, basically taking over male lead vocals from Finn by the second week. She wouldn't have been Rachel Berry if she wasn't the lead, plus she was more talented, even as a guy, Suck it Hudson! (She was spending way too much time with Puck).
She had tried football, and although she didn't like it, she needed a way to work out, and it was kind of fun, and she quickly learned the ropes. She was very satisfied with her new six pack, which although she had a perfectly toned stomach as a girl thank you very much, she didn't have the abs that she did now, not to mention she had guns! HA! They were almost as good as Pucks.
She had not gotten slushied once thankfully and was now actually one of the more popular kids… She hadn't really talked to Quinn since the flirty cell phone incident but had texted Quinn her number by the end of that same day so she had her number, that is when she realized Quinn had put her number under the name Call me :P. Damn the girl was such a flirt!
She noticed Santana and Brittany giggling at her along with Quinn during Spanish and glee, which they had together….. she tried to ignore them all, enjoying being one of the guys, which was not an experience she had ever had before, and really enjoyed. However she knew she couldn't just run away every time she saw Quinn approaching, it was getting way too obvious. When Rachel saw in her periphery a flash of blonde and red cheerio uniform approach her from the doorway as she practiced she tried to run away but was soon attacked with really good kisses, and definitely not Quinn. She tasted like coke and bubblegum. Damn this was really good making out though, the best she has ever had really. No, this is weird, good but weird, and wrong, and Santana might kill her, stopping now.
"Brittany?" Rachel addressed the blonde quizzically as she pushed her away and held her firmly at arms length, seeing Quinn and Santana grinning evilly behind her.
"Not gay." Brittany simply said and returned to Santana's arm, pecking her cheek as they turned to the door.
"See I told you Quinn. He's just really shy. Probably a virgin." Santana said smirking at Quinn.
"It's sweet. He smells good and clean, like a girl. Does that mean he's bi? And his mouth tasted good. I think he had a snickers." Brittany added as the three girls left the choir room, leaving Rachel to her extra practice alone again. She shook her head of thoughts of the three gorgeous cheerleaders and once again thought of dead puppies and stuff. When had her life gotten so confusing.
Before she knows it she told she is singing a duet and having Santana and Quinn arguing over who she should sing it with. She could have burst out laughing at the irony. These were the same girls who had written "Get Sterilized" and other equally charming things on her myspace video comments. Santana gets the duet, Quinn promised the next one. Life was certainly interesting.
She knows she's in trouble when her locker closes and behind it is one beautiful blonde.
"so… Liam…. Would you like to hang out sometime? With me. Alone." Quinn said almost shyly, although there was a hint of seduction clearly laced to her words as well. And her body language was anything but shy as she lightly trailed her fingers down Rachel's chest.
"uhhhhhhhh…." Rachel was actually speechless for the first time in her life she didn't know how to react or what to say, she was totally unprepared for this situation.
"Great. Pick me up at 6pm Friday night, and don't be late. You'll take me to Breadsticks and then to see the new Angelina movie about spies. And you'll get rewarded if you're good." Quinn smirked and then left very red faced Rachel as she flounced, elegantly off.
Quinn was happy…. She definitely still had it. She could still reduce the average teenage male to putty with a well placed flirt. And she was definitely happy with the result she got. Actual comprehensible speech would happen once they adjusted to the magnificence that was herself. Suck on that Santana Lopez. She was totally more classy and had more finesse and charm.
Did that just happen? Things just keep on getting weirder. She had a DATE with Quinn Fabray, as a guy. And someone should mention to Quinn that although she was really really hot and Rachel didn't mind it at all, but she was extremely emasculating, she would totally be the guy in any lesbian relationship. Rachel snickered at the absurdity.
"Something funny Berry?" Santana smirked as she passed by, only slightly threateningly. The last name immediately froze Rachel in panic before she remembered Santana was more likely to try to seduce her to spite Quinn, just because that was how she rolled, than throw a slushie at her.
"Nothing Santana, just thinking what a crazy world we live in. Quinn just informed me I had a date with her Friday." Rachel smiled still chuckling and Santana nodded before approaching, Brittany in tow.
"Just so you know… you do have other options…. Fabray will tie you down with expectations, all that boyfriend crap… I'm just saying, it doesn't have to be that way… take Puck for example."
"Puck's a manchild…. Don't get me wrong. The guy is basically my best friend… but he is." I reply.
"True, you have more emotional maturity, but you also have the same needs, and I know for a fact that prude queen Quinnie ain't gonna be fulfilling them. Just saying." Santana smirked and blew Rachel a kiss before stalking off, incredibly beautiful, but still highly intimidating, like a lioness.
"Quinn really likes you… San is just looking out for Quinn in her own special Santa way…. She said she was going to test you and it's not her fault if you fail. I always fail tests… Don't you need a pen and paper?" Brittany frowns and hands Rachel a pink shiny gel pen before bouncing after Santana. Well, that is an interesting insight Brittany, thank you.
It was Thursday and Rachel was nervous. Rachel knew if she didn't pick up Quinn for their date the next day or cancelled she would be in humongous trouble. She didn't even think there was a precedent for Quinn not getting any man she wanted, she had probably never been stood up. Rachel did want to go on a date with Quinn. She was funny, smart, bitingly witty, strong, determined, had an extremely sexy voice, and not to mention the face and body of a goddess. Rachel just didn't want to do it under false pretences. She decided that if they were to actually continue this romantic endeavor she would tell Quinn the truth, but one date under false pretences couldn't hurt? Come on she was so hot…..and actually fun to talk with when she was nice… and she basically promised a kiss. God she was such a teenage boy now! She pondered again on her fate and how she could possibly reverse it. eh. She was actually popular now, plus she had a date with Quinn, (once again so hot). She got props from the other boys and advice to make sure to not touch Quinn's boobs or ass when you make out or she would make you pray. And to totally not bug her about sex…..ever….. it made her really cranky, Finn shuddered at the memory of cranky Quinn.
So Rachel was so excited and nervous about her date the next day, thinking about Quinn, she couldn't get to sleep. And thinking about Quinn made her get….. that embarrassing… reaction….. and so she decided to finally do something about it. I mean it was normal right? She had done it when she was a girl….. right? It wouldn't be weird? Right? However Rachel was so traumatized by the thought of jacking her own penis that it solved the problem. Rachel wondered if she could ever be truly comfortable in this new body….. she thought it might take a very long time.
Friday Rachel was a mess. She brought a change of clothes with her to school so she could shower and change after practice and not be late for picking Quinn up. She totally forgot she wasn't supposed to know where Quinn lived… shit….. she texted Quinn asking her the address and got a teasing reply in addition to the information asked. Dating Quinn was weird. She knew she wanted to, but she just found it really hard to get past the fact that the blonde liked her now, and it was a real turnoff when she thought about the whole pretence thing and how Quinn hated her, when she was actually a her.
Her date with Quinn actually went really well. She was worried that Quinn might not like the fact that she had planned the movie first because she thought it would make nice dinner conversation…. But she didn't seem to mind and agreed with her reasoning. Dinner went really well. When Quinn wasn't insulting her she was actually really funny and sweet. Rachel paid for everything, of course, and Quinn was thrilled when Rachel played the gentleman and opened doors and pulled out chairs.
"Liam... I had a really great time tonight…. Like… the most fun I've ever had on a date… I'm really glad we did this… Do you want to come inside? My parents are out tonight and won't be back until tomorrow afternoon." Rachel was in shock…. Did those words seriously come out of Quinn's mouth! Quinn just closed Rachel's open jaw shut and opened her front door gesturing. Rachel went inside still stunned…..
"um….. it's still a little early, do you want to watch a movie?" Quinn suggested awkwardly. Rachel nodded her assent vigorously.
"What do you like to drink? We have water, juice, milk?" Quinn said teasingly knowing Liam, suspiciously like Rachel, was a vegan.
"um water thanks….." Rachel felt her throat go dry and she realized Quinn's dress was really quite revealing and very pretty.
"I really like your dress Quinn. The color is very flattering on you." Rachel said, genuinely admiring both the light yellow dress and the body that it was on. "and the shoes are perfectly matched."
"Thank you….." Quinn said delightedly… then looked suspiciously at Rachel….. "You're sure you're not gay?" she said half joking.
"You can see for yourself if you don't trust Brittany's assessment." Rachel smirked. Quinn moved over on the couch, almost sitting in Rachel's lap and started kissing her lightly. This is when Rachel realized ironically that she WAS gay…. especially for one Quinn Fabray. Rachel let Quinn take control of the kiss, however when Quinn started getting a little more aggressive Rachel pushed her down on the coach, stopping to breath heavily… "we should watch a movie….. which ones do you have." Rachel panted lightly kissing Quinn again making sure to keep it light, she could already feel the bulge in her pants, and tried to avoid pressing it against Quinn.
"yeah." Quinn breathed happily. "let me just check." She looked at Rachel's pants and lifted her thigh to feel her crotch… then chuckled. "Brittany was right."
"Quinn Fabray! You are just being mean now! I'm all about the girls just to clarify further!" Rachel pouted and scooted back mumbling about the literal definition of cocktease would have Quinn's shining face. Quinn laughed and bent down to shelf below the t.v. to get at the movies giving Rachel a very nice view indeed.
"Liam….."
"uh yeah" Rachel said completely entranced.
"stop staring at my ass" Quinn chuckled as she dug for an appropriate movie.
"but it's right there. What am I supposed to look at then."
"I don't know, but I can feel your eyes burning a hole through my dress. Stop it." Rachel grumbled that she should pick a movie faster instead of parading her assests so wantonly and that it was totally not her fault.
"You know you're scarily like Rachel?" Quinn noted with an unintelligible but serious looking expression on her face.
"uh…. Genetics?" Rachel squeaked out shrugging.
"yeah well. It's ok…. You're actually kind of cute when you rant, and you don't talk constantly, it's like Rachel light….. and a guy… I'm going to stop talking now." Quinn said, blushing.
"oh my god!" Rachel pointed at her gaping.
"What?" Quinn thought…..
"You totally have a crush on m….. Rachel…." Rachel exclaimed disbelievingly.
"What are you talking about!" Quinn looked upset. Shutting up now so I can get more kissing….. right… just think about the kind of twisted affection Quinn has for me because of her repressed lesbian feelings later…? The pornographic pictures and badly drawn doodles of me with hearts around them are particularly telling.
"uh…. Nevermind….. I was just kidding. Cause you have a crush on me, and I'm kind of like a guy Rachel." Rachel said hesitantly and very much in an impression of a teenage boy…. They make blunders like this all the time. And at least she would be smart enough to recognize and possibly fix it before it got out of hand. "I was being stupid, forget it ok? What movie did you pick?"
Quinn glared a little but then decided that she was with a teenage boy after all and most of what came out of their mouth was idiotic, and this one was far less idiotic than most.
"Do you like old movies?" She raised an eyebrow in challenge.
"I LOVE old movies! How old. I haven't really gotten into the silent films, although I love Lucy and she based a lot of her comedy on Charlie Chaplin. I do love a good classic. Audrey Hepburn is awesome, and I especially like Alfred Hitchcock for scary movies, and of course I love musicals, Roseland Russell is awesome. What did you have in mind?" Rachel asked excitedly.
"Witness for the Prosecution. It's a mystery." Quinn explained.
"I've heard of the Agatha Christie play." Rachel nodded.
"ok." Quinn popped it in and then sat on the couch. Rachel kept to her side when Quinn didn't approach her. It was an hour into the movie and Quinn looked at Rachel confused, Rachel was engrossed in the movie….. Quinn was confused… he wasn't gay, but something was definitely off. He hadn't tried to grope her, or the cheesy yawn/stretch arm wrap around… it was weird.
"You can cuddle me if you want. You should know that guys are pretty much always up for a cuddle." Rachel smirked, noticing Quinn's stare, opening an arm. Quinn huffed, then promptly smiled chuckling and pulled Rachel's arm around her, sighing. Rachel was so happy, she just didn't want it to end. The movie ended and Quinn had fallen asleep, having seen it before. Rachel didn't want to disturb her, but she didn't want her to sleep in the couch. Rachel gently lifted her, loving her strength (totally made up for the hair on her armpits and arms.) and brought Quinn upstairs to what she guessed was her bedroom. She gently pulled the covers over her and kissed her forehead, sleeping Quinn was angelic. She then went down to the couch and slept deciding that since Quinn was alone she wouldn't mind, and she really didn't like the thought of Quinn being alone in that empty house at night.
Rachel awoke to a face staring at her….very close to her face and jumped in shock.
"ahhh. You know it's creepy to stare at people while their sleeping!" Rachel admonished Quinn.
"Yeah and it's creepy to carry sleeping women to their beds." Quinn raised an eyebrow.
"You fell asleep on me! And I was a perfect gentleman thank you very much! I even tucked you in and everything… you have no right to complain. I stayed with you for your safety. You should be thanking me. Not scaring me awake at 7 in the morning although I usually am awake by now." Quinn cut Rachel off midrant with a kiss before pulling away.
"eww. Morning breath," Quinn scrunched her nose.
"ungrateful girl" Rachel muttered under her breath, pouting the loss of the kiss.
"Oh Liam. Why thank you! Whatever would I have done without you, you big hunk of manly man you!" Quinn flirted remarkably accurate southern accent.
"That….. is more like it missy." Rachel grinned tickling Quinn a bit. "Although it is early for a weekend. Is there food?" Rachel asked, channeling her inner teenage boy, which demanded food.
"uh yeah but my parents are coming back soon…." Quinn said worriedly.
"But I was a perfect….. oh." Rachel realized that if she was seen in her current state on the couch she would probably be shot before she got to explain how she was a perfect gentleman.
"ok. I can have breakfast at my house. Don't worry. I wouldn't want to get you in trouble… or get myself shot." Rachel mumbled the last bit while Quinn chuckled.
"ok. Call me later. Oh and just so there is no confusion, you're my boyfriend now, I do expect flowers every so often, bare minimum of holidays and birthday, and you cheat on me you will pay, dearly." Quinn raised an eyebrow threateningly.
"Seems fair. But uh…. Nevermind. Awesome." Rachel nodded and headed out, kissing Quinn on the cheek. Quinn was wondering how she got so lucky with such a strange boy. Strange in a nice way though.
Rachel got home to much concern and then teasing by her dads when she gave her explanation for her not coming home until this morning.
And so Rachel's life went. Homework, football, glee, hanging out with Puck, making out with Quinn, life was pretty good, although she still hated her facial hair with a passion. Then one day she just couldn't take the guilt. She knew there was a good chance that Quinn would never speak to her again, and if she did it would just be to torment her and abuse her, but she just couldn't live with the guilt, seeing that look of love in Quinn's eyes hurt too much…
"Quinn." Rachel sat her down on her couch in her house.
"You live in Rachel's house?" Quinn asked surprised.
"That's what I need to talk to you about. Um… now this is going to be very hard to explain, well, simply there is no explanation really, but it's true….. now I don't know how. But on my birthday I woke up like this….. I don't know if I'll stay this way or not… I could change back tomorrow, which is why I need to do this. Quinn I'm Rachel." Rachel blurted out.
"What?" Quinn asked, sure she had heard wrong.
"Quinn… I am Rachel Berry… I made up the name Liam when I turned into a boy. I don't have a cousin named Liam. My fathers helped me with the school paperwork. I might stay this way, I might change back, I really don't know. If I could I would change back. I know that I have fallen in love with you. It was so weird to me at first, because suddenly after hating me and tormenting me for how many years, you were suddenly flirting with me. I just couldn't get over the shock for a while. And then I really liked you when you were nice. You're so funny and witty, and really lovely to hang out with, plus your drop dead gorgeous. But I can't continue this relationship under false pretenses… I understand if you hate me now." Rachel stated and hung her head. Mr. Berry came in and looked on seriously.
"Is it true." Quinn looked at Mr. Berry, then at Rachel.
"She told you? I'm sorry Quinn." Mr. Berry asked, and Rachel nodded, close to tears.
"I need to go. I will talk to you when I have processed this whole thing." Quinn said calmly and got up and left with grace. Quinn didn't talk to Rachel for a week, ignoring her essentially.
After a week though Quinn stormed up to Rachel as she was leaving school (still a man, but not for lack of willpower) and slapped her hard across the cheek.
"I deserved that." Rachel said.
"I thought I was finally straight! DAMN YOU!" Quinn fumed. Rachel was not expecting this. "Why couldn't you have lied more. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL ME! I HATE YOU! WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE KEPT LYING RACHEL!DAMN IT! IF YOU JUST HADN'T NEED TO BE SO FUCKING NOBLE! Why didn't you just keep lying….." Quinn was crying beating her fists against Rachel's chest. Rachel held her as she stopped struggling and just sobbed.
"I never meant to hurt you like this." Rachel said.
"How could you not have Rachel? I love you damn it and I just can't accept that! My world won't LET me accept it!" Quinn sobbed. "My parents will disown me and I'll never get out of this fucking town!"
"If I stay like this… you won't have a problem." Rachel said solemnly. "or you could realize that your current world isn't the whole world, and if it isn't allowing you to be happy, or to love whom you want to love, then maybe you should go to a different one. Or better yet create a different one."
"I hate you!" Quinn sobbed more. "I love you."
"I know." Rachel said sadly.
"If you change back I'll probably break your heart." Quinn said truthfully.
"I know. You probably will." Rachel again agreed sadly.
"Will you stay anyways?" Quinn sniffled.
"Of course." Rachel sighed as she snuggled Quinn closer.
"I want to hug girl you….. you seemed so squishy and soft, and with such pouty lips. You're all hard now with muscles. Not that I don't like it, it's just softness is more comforting sometimes." Quinn said sadly.
"I miss girl me too, height is overrated." Rachel deadpanned making Quinn chuckle through sobs.
"You do make the best teenage boy ever though." Quinn smiled a little.
"Why thank you… Noah taught me much." Rachel grinned.
"I knew….. well. I mean … I thought I was going crazy a little bit, cause the thought that you were your cousin was so impossible, but, on some level I knew….. you were too perfect." Quinn sighed.
"Hey Berry! Good job getting your girl back!" Puck thumbed up him in passing. He was ignored.
"Quinn…. I love you too." Rachel said kissing her tearstained face softly.
Rachel stayed as a boy unfortunately and when her seventeenth birthday came around she was way more than nervous, she didn't know if she should wish to be back in her old body, if it would even work! Quinn had finally told Santana and thereby Brittany in order for her to stop trying to steal Liam, because Santana was totally not attracted to Rachel Berry, and she just found the whole thing really hilarious.
Rachel decided to try and wish for her old body back, she missed being a girl so much, and she just couldn't stand it much longer. She might go insane.
Rachel awoke and got up noticing that she was distinctly shorter than she remembered. She rushed to the mirror to check and found that she was once more, a proud female! She screamed happily with excitement. Her fathers came to see what the noise was and she squealed and hugged them both yelling "I'm a girl!" repeatedly and very excitedly. Her father's were confused to say the least.
"um ok honey. I'm excited that you have discovered what is obviously a lot of female empowerment and pride….. it's a little off putting though. Are you ready to go to the amusement park?" Rachel gaped at her dad's statement.
"Daddy how old am I now?" Rachel questioned.
"You just turned 16 silly" Her daddy poked her on the nose. "Now get ready or we won't get to beat the lunchtime lines. They left her there speechless. Rachel realized now that she must have dreamed the whole thing, but that did not make it seem any less real. And she now realized she had a huge crush, well more like was in love with, her tormentor (well not so much recently) Quinn Fabray. She decided to try and forget the vivid dream and go on her way, there were rides to be had. When lunch indeed came around and Rachel was once again in the water park section, she once again saw recognizable pretty face with a trademark scowl and a great body that was in a tiny bikini waiting in line, and she turned around to once again knock down Quinn Fabray who was wearing the same pink bikini from her dream. And Brittany's still had ducks.
"Watch were you're going Manhands!" Quinn fumed when she saw who had knocked her down. Rachel offered a hand to help her up which she took, grudgingly.
"I'm so sorry Quinn. Are you alright? I didn't mean to knock you down and it was my fault for pausing and turning unexpectedly. What a surprise to run into you here though. Would you like to go ride the raft ride with me? That is if you are alright." Rachel smiled charmingly, obviously confusing Quinn just a little bit.
"I'm fine Rupaul, and why are you still holding my hand?" Rachel winced but decided to try again.
"You look very beautiful in you bikini today, the color suits you, and your body is as usual, perfection. Brittany, where did you get yours. It's quite amusing, very cute." Rachel grinned, letting go of Quinn's hand.
"Santana got it for me!" Brittany smiled.
"If you girls wouldn't be opposed to my company I am here alone with the exception of my fathers who seem to have abandoned me, I don't think they like water rides. I would really enjoy your company." Rachel admitted.
"YAY!" Brittany squealed as she rushed off to greet Santana who was now bearing treats.
"Happy Birthday Rachel." Quinn said quietly when they were alone.
"Why thank you Quinn! I do believe that is one of the nicest things you have said to me." Rachel smiled.
"Yeah well, don't get used to it!" Quinn scoffed, but smiled slightly.
Rachel took off her own clothes to expose her own bikini, and smirked when Quinn looked a little longer than was appropriate. Maybe she was psychic.
After some more water rides Brittany insisted they go take pictures at the photo booth. You know the ones that come out in a strip. Santana and Brittany took one, and Quinn and Rachel took the other. Rachel decided she should test her theory, but only slowly, so when the picture was going off she leaned in to kiss Quinn's cheek. Quinn blushed furiously and was stunned before promptly degrading and insulting her quite creatively, which Rachel admired. But Rachel decided she would woo Quinn slowly, and that this was a good start. When school started and Rachel started giving Quinn little gifts, and even flowers, everything she knew Quinn would love. Quinn approached her to talk after two weeks of this.
"Rachel, this has got to stop. Your little crush on me, it just can't happen….." Quinn sighed, knowing that Rachel didn't respond to her insults anymore as she was used to them.
"Quinn…. Just tell me one thing….. and I'll stop…." Rachel pleaded.
"Ok." Quinn sighed then out of nowhere Rachel kisses her gently.
"Tell me you didn't like that." Rachel dared.
"I didn't like that." Quinn said easily.
"Well, it's not like I didn't give it a good go." Rachel shrugged and sighed sadly. "You are so very beautiful Quinn, inside and out. Don't ever let anyone dictate to you what you should do. You are Quinn Fabray, you make your own choices and your own destiny ok? And you most certainly don't take crap from anyone." Rachel kisses her again, this time with a little more passion and then leaves sadly. She does not try again, but is still friendly towards Quinn. A month later Quinn comes up and slaps her.
"oww! What the hell Quinn!" Rachel holds her injured cheek.
"Why!" Quinn demanded.
"Why what?" Rachel asked.
"Why did you suddenly decide to like me damn it! I was horrible to you. I took every chance I could to belittle you and humiliate you and yet you just woke up one day deciding you wanted to kiss me! I have realized I was in love with you since last year! And could say NOTHING because you hated me! I liked you before that, but I didn't really know you, I just liked you and I knew that I couldn't, I couldn't be your friend, much less anything else, even if I wanted to, and that was ok, Because YOU disliked ME! I made sure of it! You are a fucking psycho masochist or something! Why do you like me!" Quinn ranted.
"Your smart, funny, witty, charming when you want to be, strong, determined, not to mention downright gorgeous, how could I not. But I had a dream that changed my perspective a little bit, and I realized that we could be great together and that your torment of me might be the little boy pulling the little girl's pigtails because he doesn't know how to interact lovingly." Rachel stated simply.
"I thought I hid it." Quinn said. "and you really are annoying when you are right."
"I'm often right. And well, the hearts around the ...drawings of me that you not so stealthily doodle was kind of weird, and a little bit of a give away, but you did hide it well. So Quinn, how strong are you? and what do you really want." Rachel asked, putting her arms around Quinn and giving her a hug. A little nudge in the right direction couldn't hurt. Quinn stiffened at first but then relaxed into it.
"I'm not brave at all. Not for this. I will be not only kicked out again but disowned. And I'll be stuck in this stupid town all my life, and I can't. I need Cheerios, I need to go to a good college and get the hell away from here. I can't do this with you." Quinn sighed sadly, still crying.
"I'm having major déjà vu from my dream. I really am psychic!" Rachel chirped, still comforting the crying girl by hugging her and rubbing circles on her back. It should be illegal for girl's as pretty as Quinn to cry, it is just too heartbreaking.
"well ms psychic, what happens next in your dream." Quinn asked chuckling lightly now that her tears had mostly stopped.
"Well I'm a man so we just continue dating although you are quite upset at me for telling you that I was in fact me, and I had just been turned into a man, you wanted me to lie and pretend that I was not in fact me, and was actually the cousin I made up to explain my manliness. I was hoping I wouldn't stay a man much longer and then I woke up and I was back where I started, not a man, but the bikinis were the same!" Rachel nodded sagely.
"I shouldn't have asked." Quinn sighed then thought, "You would make a cute boy."
"I was so tall!" Rachel remembered happily making Quinn laugh.
"So, since you are in fact you, and consequently, a girl, which is the whole issue…. What do we do?" Quinn pondered, knowing either choice will have dire consequences.
"That is not for me to decide. Although will state I am of the opinion that it should involve much making out, between us, and possibly Witness for the Prosecution with Marlene Dietrich with lots of cuddling, and possibly you spending a lot of time at my place." Rachel beamed hopefully.
"That's one of my favorite movies." Quinn stated.
"We watched it in my dream scenario, and cuddled, you wore this nice yellow dress." Rachel sighed.
"Stop scaring me Rachel." Quinn frowned, knowing she would wear that yellow dress if she did ever go on a date with Rachel, she had planned it out before.
"I can't help my psychicness!" Rachel smirked. "Although you need to stop making people pray if their hands accidentally stray….. sorry that rhymed. But it is extremely off putting. And you are quite a tease, or were in my dream…. "
"uh why won't you shut up." Quinn groaned.
"Make me Fabray." Rachel challenged and giggled profusely. Quinn kissed her gently but firmly and it was end of an era, and the beginning of a new one in both of their lives.
They walked into glee the next week and Rachel immediate started talking.
"Hello everyone I have an announcement about some interesting news." Rachel started as everyone groaned. Quinn surprisingly got up and approached Rachel as she was speaking
"Now this might be surprising to some. However, I just want to say beforehand that you might have heard rumors of ...mfghhhhffff…smack.…moan...Quinn! I was trying to tell them in an approp mggggffffff…smack…moan ...pop…smack…What Quinn said." The class cheered as someone had finally found a way to shut Rachel up occasionally, they thought it was brilliant and commended Quinn on her creative thinking. Rachel huffed but when Quinn kissed her pouty lips she felt that maybe Quinn's methods were rather brilliant after all.