Disclaimer: I in no way own the rights to Final Fantasy VII, or to 3 Doors Down's song "When I'm Gone."
Warnings: None
Author's Note: Well, I'm finally in college, and I've been having the urge to write lately... So I figured a collection of songfics will get me back into writing. I'm only a couple years rusty. *cough*
Crucifix
When I'm Gone
"I'm sorry... Teef..."
There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There're secrets in this life
That I can't hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away...
Or maybe I'm just blind..
Or maybe I'm just blind...
He looked over her sleeping form, eyes wandered over the curves of her womanly body, taking in the beautiful sight of her chest slowly rising and falling with the gentle force of sleep. The night was dark; the moon was high. Stars dotted the black void, but they were faint to Cloud's mako eyes. The little light those balls of gas did give up was just enough to cause the guilt in his blue orbs to glisten in an unsettling way.
But yet, just like the lone wolf, he watched on.
The clock was ticking on Tifa's desk, but soon the noise was tuned out. But even if Cloud couldn't hear it, it was still ticking and tocking and ticking and tocking... on and on and on and on...
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone...
With a pitiful sigh, Cloud turned his back on the beloved woman and left the room. As he shut the door, his eyes lingered on the doorknob for a split second longer than what most considered normal. He barely managed to make it to his own bedroom (not for long, he thought bitterly), before falling to his knees.
The violet sores on his left arm began pulsing and spewing dark liquid onto the floor and the walls, the purple soaking in between the cracks and filling them. Cloud's chest heaved, lungs struggling just to function. His heart thumped so loud that Cloud bitterly wondered if he would have a stroke. He struggled to stand, if only because his mother one told him, "As long as you can stand, you'll be okay."
But the more he tried to raise himself, the harder he fell. So he just gave up.
As his pupils narrowed and the pain began searing, memories flashed in his eyes. Denzel and Marlene playing a cheerful game in the living room. Tifa lecturing him about how not to cook pancakes. Sephiroth. Staring death in the face. Nanaki. Cid. Vincent. Barret. Yuffie. Aerith. Zack. Bullets flying everywhere. Helicopters. Death. The smell of fresh blood. Red. Crimson.
And as suddenly as it started, the attack halted. With a small sigh of relief, Cloud staggered to his feet . If I'm going to die, I'm not going to let Tifa find me. Not like this...
He looked at his desk with a sad gaze. The surface was scratched and chipped. It never glistened in the light. It clearly needed a new coat of finish. Limping to the wooden furniture, Cloud grasped for a paper and pen. With yet another sigh, he began to write, slowly, carefully. Deliberately. How could he say everything he wanted to say?
After an eternity, Cloud risked glancing at his alarm clock. 4:39 a.m. He would have plenty of time to leave before Tifa awoke. With light steps and a heavy heart, he grabbed Fenrir's keys and a duffle bag of crinkled clothes. He made his way down the creaky staircase. He gently placed the piece of paper on the bar's counter.
A second later, he was out the door.
When your education X-Ray
Cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
When the sun had finally peaked out from behind the horizon, Cloud, mounted on his trusty Fenrir, observed the ruins of Midgar, and its spawn, Edge. I have to do this, he tried to reason, I need to protect them. This... is the only way.
His mind wandered. What would Aerith think? And Zack?
And though he knew he was sinning, he also knew he had sinned before, and he also knew that he had no idea of how to even begin searching for redemption. Tifa... forgive me.
Roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
The pain again, shooting up his arm. When will this end?
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone
He wasn't quite sure why, but a little tear rolled down his face and fell to the dusty ground. He looked down and gave it an odd look, unsure of what to think.
Love me when I'm gone...
Pulling down his goggles to shield his eyes from the desert dust, he revved Fenrir's engine. This was it: he turned his back on Zack, on his pride and dreams. He failed to be the living legacy. He turned his back on Midgar and Edge, on his family and friends.
TIFA LOCKHART,
I HAVE A DELIVERY TO MAKE.
I'M NOT SURE HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE.
-CLOUD STRIFE