Author's Note: Hi, sorry I've been MIA for a bit, it's been a weird winter. Anyway, here is a lil drabble/one-shot, whatever you wanna call it. It took me a long time to write because I just kept getting too sad. :( My god, this game has ruined me. Rated T for a tad bit of language. Let me know what you think. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Bioware's characters, I just write stuff about 'em. Sometimes. When I feel like it.
He was slumped against the wall, where they'd set him down in the corner of the shuttle bay, his head in his hands. The armor he wore was a mess, covered with London mud and the blood of his friends, some of it he knew belonged to her.
His eyes may have been shut, but he could still see the last few minutes replaying in his mind.
He relived it all: the charge down the hill, soldiers being vaporized, Harbinger destroying the ground vehicle. He was in the mud, and the truck an inferno. His head buzzing, ears ringing so loudly that it finally drowned out the goddamn reaper's blares. Every sound muffled, so briefly, and yet he saw it so slowly, watched the playback.
Tali spattered with blood – he wasn't sure whose it was. Shepard. Where was Shepard? Frantic to find her, to make sure she was safe, he tried to stand, and a searing pain shot through his arm. He fell back. And then people were screaming – he could hear them now. Grown men wailing in agony, and fear. Hopelessness.
He didn't want to watch anymore. He clenched his eyes shut and prayed that she was safe. So many thoughts were running through his mind, so many worries, and doubts.
And suddenly – miraculously – she was there. It had only been a matter of seconds since the truck had been hit, but they had felt so much longer. She helped him up, she was so strong – it always surprised him. They found cover near the overturned vehicle. She touched him, carefully, and he nodded, wordlessly assuring her. I'm alright.
She shouted into her comm. "Normandy! Do you copy? I need an evac. Right now!"
Joker barely touched down, hovering the stealth ship a few feet above ground. They helped him to the Normandy's on-ramp.
He felt her leave his side. His heart pounded in his chest as he spun around to face her, Tali on his arm. His eyes were wild with fear. But not for himself.
"Shepard..." Her name was almost a whisper, but it stopped her anyway. She turned.
"You gotta get out of here." He heard her speak, but didn't believe the words.
"And you've gotta be kidding me!" He stared at her, his voice sounding defiant, but his eyes betraying his worry, his questioning. Did she think she he was really going to let her go in alone? I'm not leaving you.
"Don't argue Garrus." Her voice was firm.
Damn it, no!
"We're in this til the end." He grunted with pain, and Tali moved to support him better.
His gaze met hers, amidst the chaos and cold wind and the world crashing around them. And he couldn't breathe.
It was the same feeling he had tried to swallow four years ago. This was more intense than he had ever felt. Unstoppable. A wave of yearning, tainted by pain. By now, he knew it well, though it always overwhelmed him.
His love for Shepard.
She stepped up the plank and his heart lurched in his chest. He could smell blood seeping slowly from somewhere under her armor, a hidden wound. He swallowed. She reached out to him, and gently held his face. Her striking green eyes were such a contrast to the grey bleakness of the killing ground below.
"No matter what happens here," she moved closer and he leaned in so that they were only inches apart. "You know I love you." Her voice was tender, and it caught in her throat, and he eyes were thick with tears begging to be shed. "I always will."
Garrus' mind and heart were racing. This wasn't it. It couldn't be it. Panic in his eyes, he searched hers, pleading with her not to leave.
He wanted to take her and bring her inside, tuck her into his chest, wrap his arms around her. He wanted to be back in her cabin, making love to her before falling asleep next to her. He wanted to give her peace. He wanted to keep her safe, alive. But he knew he couldn't do that, as much as it killed him. She wasn't so selfish. And because of her, he couldn't be either.
Damn her. Damn this war, damn the galaxy, and especially damn the fucking reapers.
His soulmate – half of him – was standing in front of him. And he was supposed to say goodbye, he was supposed to be okay with this. Let her go.
"Shepard...," his breath hitched in his chest.
I can't let you go. I can't leave you.
His mouth hung open for a second before saying the only thing he could say. "I...love you, too."
They both knew what could happen. Their eyes locked as the possibilities played out in both of their minds.
She stepped backwards down the ramp, refusing to lose his gaze until the last second. But the Normandy had to go, get out of Harbinger's path. She ordered them to leave, and headed towards to beam.
Liara was there, just then, and helped get Garrus into the shuttle bay. They set him down, carefully, and waited for Tali to fetch Doctor Chakwas. Wasting no time, Liara quickly retrieved the med-kit near Vega's station and crouched next to her friend.
She touched his shoulder and said gently, "Garrus, you're bleeding."
He was silent for a moment, his eyes staring into the wall across the room.
She frowned, concerned. "I have to remove your armor in order to apply medi-gel," she tried again.
He closed his eyes at this and placed his head in his hands, and then his body began to shake. He could no longer hold back the heartache that had been building up inside of him. All of it – the loss, the fear, the slow heartbreak – had taken its toll on the man.
It shocked her, but after a pause, she stood up and put the med-kit away. She'd seen their exchange on the ramp after they'd touched down. She knew how much they meant to each other, and it wasn't difficult to imagine what was going through Garrus' mind. She turned back towards him, broken and slouched in the corner of the room. His shoulders quaked and the gutteral tones emanating from his throat sent chills up her back and through her head.
Liara squeezed her eyes shut, trying to control the tears welling up behind her blue lids. Her throat ached, holding back the sob that threatened to break. She couldn't watch this. She knew she should comfort him, say something, hold him. But it was just too hard. Never before in her life had Liara seen a turian weep.