**Written for FanFic100!**
Miss Traddles
094. Independence.
"For shame, J. Steerforth!"
He had to admit to himself, he had thought perhaps some of his classmates might echo his cry. At least Copperfield, who was a good sort of fellow – though Traddles didn't really blame him for his silence, as he was still pretty young and new to the ways of school. "Why, I was the only one who said anything at all to Steerforth, other than good Mr. Mell," he thought, turning matters over in his head, which was bruised and sore from the applications of Mr. Creakle's cane. "And – even Mr. Mell hushed me, though he oughtn't have."
The room, so lately filled with cheers for Steerforth, had gone quiet, and the dead stillness seemed foreboding to poor Tommy Traddles, who expected no good would come his way to-day.
Yes, here came Steerforth, with a dark expression that did not set well on his usually handsome face. As that young gentleman made his way up the steps to Tommy's desk, a rapid series of thoughts, culminating in a peculiar realization, presented itself in Traddles' mind. Steerforth is sure to be very angry, to collar me, and to abuse me, for speaking out today, he knew. But…but then, he has always collared and abused me, so it's…it's all the same, ain't it? Whether I speak out or not, it's all the same – so why shouldn't I speak if I like?
It was a strangely freeing idea to Mr. Traddles, and though his face was still sticky with the traces of indignant tears, a timid, nervous laugh erupted in his heart. Even as Steerforth, who now approached him and violently boxed him on his ears, and called him "Miss Traddles," and mocked him in front of the school, saying something about paying Mr. Mell back, which Traddles didn't much believe, the shock-haired boy thought, "It's all the same."
That very evening, after a series of intermittent thrashings and abuses throughout the day, Steerforth exiled "Miss" Traddles from the usual evening entertainments, banishing the boy to the far corner of the dormitory as young Copperfield began to read that night's chapter of Robinson Crusoe. It was not comfortable to be all alone in the dark corner, with the other boys never daring to look his way for fear of Steerforth's wrath; least of all Copperfield himself, who carefully kept his eyes on the page before him.
"But," thought Traddles by way of consolation, "it's not as though I don't have any ears, after all." And so, despite his banishment, he allowed himself to listen to the snatches of Copperfield's story that reached him in his exile.
Sometimes, during the story, he thought about how he'd never see Mr. Mell again, and how he hadn't been able to say good-bye, or to thank him for his help in the hard times at school. He hoped his old master wasn't too angry about his outburst that day. Even if he was, Traddles wasn't very sorry for it, because he thought the good teacher worthy of it.
"I do believe I was wrong about the consequences earlier," he thought, as he looked at Steerforth and his loyal subjects, in a different light, from his solitary corner. "Perhaps it's not all the same as it was before I spoke out. Perhaps it's a little bit better."