Disclaimer: Alas, I don't own Teen Wolf.
A/N: Oh God, what am I even doing with my life. This is so ridiculous. I apologize sincerely. But I hope you enjoy this.

They have them. They have all the werewolves. Fucking hunters. Stiles glared at them as they surrounded him, the werewolves tied up, being electrocuted, behind some mountain ash.

"We haven't bothered with you because you're human." One of them said, Stiles decided right then that he would be called Jazz. "We don't go out of our way to kill humans, but if they are stupid enough to come here?"

Stiles scoffed. "Please. Do your homework on me. I'm not stupid."

"What do you mean?" Country said, adjusting her weapon. Apparently she is worried that he has a plan.

"I mean that the reason why I'm in this mess is because I dragged my best friend to look for half of a dead body in the middle of the night because that is a fun time for all and he got bit." Stiles said. "I'm not stupid, I'm psycho."

"What?" Jazz asked, his hands out at his side. Stiles let out a chuckle, because Jazz used jazz hands.

"Sorry about laughing it's just that you put your hands out to the side and-" Stiles paused, "Well, never mind. Not important. But to answer your question, pretty much what it sounds like. I've long ago realized there had to be something wrong me, right? Hell, I didn't go running from werewolves like a sane person would have."

"So you're insane?" Reggae said.

"Well, not technically but probably. Should I actually get that looked at." Stiles said with a shrug.

"Okay." Country said, "So you're not all there. What does that mean? I honestly don't see where you're going with this."

"Well," Stiles said slowly, "I just-" he sighed and started unbuttoning his plaid shirt. "I kind of made a plan, and I went with the first plan I had which was to strap myself up with some dynamite."

"What?" Grunge yelled, looking panicked.

Stiles shrugged, shirt now undone so that everyone could see the dynamite. "I figure it'd take you guys down and the blast should move the mountain ash and my friends would be able to escape really easily."

"But you'd die too." Grunge said, "Along with us."

"So?" Stiles asked, rolling his eyes. "I'm a human who runs with wolves of course I'll die early. God, Grunge, get with the program."

"You are crazy." Jazz said, shaking his head.

"I went over this." Stiles replied.

"I don't believe you." Country said. She kept her gun pointed on him, "It's a bluff. You don't have it in you to kill people."

"Of course I do." Stiles said, "Like, okay right now I'm dating my alpha, but before? Do you know how often I wanted to kill him. Legitimately. Like, I told our hunter to shoot him in the head?" Stiles shot a look to his friends, "Stop looking at me like that Derek, you knew about it, you had heard me tell her to shoot you."

"I bet it's just some road flares." Jazz said.

Stiles looked at Jazz in confusion, "What even? Why would you think these are road flares?"

"Because only a moron would strap themselves with dynamite." Jazz said.

"Yeah, but keep in mind that this is someone who has become best friends with a mass murderer werewolf who came back from the dead." Stiles said.

"I think he's telling the truth." Country said. "Look at his eyes." Stiles fluttered his eyes at them. "I think we should cut our losses now and just leave."

Reggae nodded, "If we fight him I have a feeling that at least one of us won't make it out."

"Those are always the risks." Grunge said. "But this kid is frightening."

Stiles smirked, "Always nice to hear."

Jazz nodded and Reggae reluctantly agreed. Once the hunters left, Stiles waltzed over to the werewolves and untied them.

"Is that dynamite?" Isaac asked, not coming very close to him. "Really?"

Stiles looked down at his chest, "God no. What do you take me for?"

"Road flares then?" Derek said, sounding thoughtful.

"No." Stiles said, "Candy."