Mario is a plummer. But hes no ordinary plummer; there are a few things you need to know about Mario. Firstly, he never does any actual plumbing - no one can remember the last time he fixed a pipe or stopped a water leak. The second thing to be aware of is that he has strange dietary habits; he's rumoured to eat gold coins, which as any doctor on the planet will tell you, you should never ever eat; equally strange - eating carrots has been known to make Mario fly short distances (which had tragic consequences during the last birthday party he went to for his estranged cousin Wario...when everyone should have been talking about Wario's new hat that he got as a present, the most memorable thing of the evening was Marios low level flying antics after the main course...both cousins would later deny that this incident was the root of their animosity, indeed they would on occasion even deny they were related at all, but the other family members who were there that night - well they have their own theories; for now thats a story to be told at another time).
Today we find him out with his brother Luigi (when Luigi was born his parents broke an extended family tradition of having their children named to rhyme with "ario"; they briefly considered "Lario" but they quickly decided it just didnt sound right). Mario and Luigi had been running and jumping for quite some time, as if guided by some unseen force. In the heart of Mushroom Kingdom, up on platforms that sometimes looked like the ground, and at other times has the appearance of coloured boxes, a shout broke the silence...
"Mmmmaaarrrriiioooooo"
Luigi who had been ahead paused, and turned around.
"Oh please ! Mario, do you have to keep shouting that?"
"What, I dont know what you mean..."
Mario's last sentence was delivered in a far deeper voice than people are used to, but in a manner more suited to someone of his age and body shape.
"Come on Mario, there's no one around to hear that, theres just you and me here. Why do you need to shout every few minutes? And...if you're going to talk in public at least put on 'the voice', you know, the one that everyone expects ?...stop pretending to be Batman or someone."
"Luigi" Mario replied "you can't have it both ways; you yourself just said there is no one around. I like talking in my normal voice, you know my shouting for the fans hurts my throat!"
So onwards the two intrepid brothers went, jumping from floating platform to floating platform. After a few minutes they paused for a brief rest.
"Anyway", said Luigi, "where are we going today...dont say its to rescue..."
"A certain princess!", interrupted Mario, "Yes... you're right"
"Peach! I knew it. I almost didn't even bother to ask. It's always Peach when you ask me to come jumping! I dont think she's even a real princess you know?"
Mario looked shocked. "Why would you say such a sentence?"
"Well. Her crown doesnt look real for a start. She only started wearing it after we all went to that fast food place that time...", Luigi paused, "...and another thing; if she was royalty, why does she need a couple of unemployed maintenance men to rescue her? Shouldn't she have guards or armed special forces to look after her?"
"Youre just being mean, come on lets go..."