Thankful
A/N: Just a little Thanksgiving story. Happy Thanksgiving to those of you celebrating it this weekend.
Late morning on Thanksgiving, Maura and Angela worked together in the kitchen to prepare food for their planned mid-afternoon meal with the rest of the Rizzoli family. Jane was the first to arrive and Maura sent her upstairs to find some serving trays that were in storage in an upstairs closet.
Once Jane was out of the room, Angela stopped cutting up potatoes and took hold of Maura's hands. She took a deep breath and said, "Maura, when are you going to tell Jane how you feel about her?"
Maura pulled her hands out of Angela's grasp and turned away before saying, "I don't know what you're talking about?"
"I know about your little lying problem, Maura. We don't need you to faint or break out in a rash today."
Maura shook her head before saying, "Jane's my best friend. However else I may feel about her doesn't matter. I'm just happy to have her in my life."
"It does matter. You deserve to be happy, honey. I know that's what you were trying to do with Jack, so what happened with him?" Angela asked nosily.
"I broke up with him. He was sweet and I liked spending time with him, but that wasn't enough. It was nice, but it wasn't anything more than that, you know? It wasn't special," Maura finished thoughtfully.
"Like what you have with Jane?" Angela pressed.
"I didn't see myself falling in love with him," Maura answered honestly, if somewhat evasively.
Angela was silent for a moment but then said, "For what it's worth, I think she loves you too."
"Have you talked to her about me?" Maura asked meekly, embarrassed to even be engaging in this conversation with Jane's mother.
"No, I haven't. But I've been noticing things. When she was with Casey, she never seemed happy exactly. I thought at first it was because she was trying to make things work with him and he was never around, but I don't think that was it. I think she thought she should want to be with him, but she never actually wanted it. She didn't even think about trying again with him when she was pregnant, did she?" Angela didn't wait for an answer before continuing, "When I see her with you, it's different. She's happy. And I know she would do anything for you."
"I would do anything for her too, but that's not the same thing as being in love with someone," Maura said a little sadly. "You're only guessing. You don't really know how she feels."
In response Angela said, "I've always found that Thanksgiving is a good time to reflect on what's important in your life. Maybe both of you can do that.
Jane came back into the kitchen with the serving trays and Maura turned back to cutting up vegetables, afraid Jane would see some trace of the conversation on her face.
Angela immediately started saying to Jane, "I can't believe you have to work tonight, on Thanksgiving."
"It's not a big deal, Ma. Everyone does a twelve hour shift during the holiday weekend so we can all have the rest of the time off."
"But why do you have to work the shift on Thanksgiving?"
"I don't have to go in until 7 tonight," Jane explained for what felt like the thousandth time. "I'm spending the whole day with you."
"Fine, but I still think you still work too much."
"I know, Ma, I know. Maura, is there anything else I can do to help?" Jane asked to change the conversation.
Maura finally turned toward Jane and with a smile, she said, "You can set the table if you don't mind."
"No problem."
"You can use the china in the hutch."
"Are you sure? Aren't those your fancy dishes for special occasions?"
"This is a special occasion," Maura responded. "It's Thanksgiving with…with family. It is special."
"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you," Jane joked.
When Jane was out of earshot, Angela leaned in and whispered to Maura, "See what I mean. I could never get her to set the table for me."
"Before we eat I think we should go around the table and say what we're thankful for this year," Angela said once they were all seated at a table full of food.
Jane and Frankie started to grumble, but Maura said, "I think that's a wonderful idea, Angela."
"I'll go first," Angela said. "I'm thankful that my children are safe and sound and that I am able to spend Thanksgiving with them and my first, and hopefully not last, grandchild. I'm thankful to Maura for generously opening her home to me and for allowing us to all spend the holiday together."
Sitting to Angela's left, Maura spoke next. "I'm thankful to have all of you in my life, and for the way you've made me a part of your family. I'm thankful to be able to celebrate this holiday with you," she said simply.
As Tommy, Lydia, and Frankie each took their turn talking about what they were thankful for, Jane stopped paying attention and looked down at her lap while thinking about what she wanted to say. The past year had been hard, first losing her partner and friend, and then losing her baby, even if she had never really been sure if she really ready for a baby or not.
Her relationship with Casey had ended once and for all, although that hadn't exactly been hard, at least not as hard as it should have been if she really loved him. She knew it was good that they weren't together anymore. When he left, choosing the Army over her, or maybe she had chosen her job over him, she knew that was for the best. But the end of their relationship had also meant the end of their friendship and that was something she would regret.
Through all the hard things, Maura had been there with her, although less so when it came to Casey. Although Maura never said anything explicitly, Jane knew she didn't like Casey, so she didn't talk much Casey with Maura. It was easier that way anyway. It was too difficult to talk about her feelings about Casey with Maura when her feelings about Maura were even more confusing and complicated.
But in every other part of her life, especially with the loss of Frost and the miscarriage, Maura was there for her. So when Frankie poked Jane in the arm and said her name, Jane looked up and across the table at Maura and said the thing she knew she was most thankful for, "Maura."
Maura had been looking at her own lap, lost in thought about her conversation with Angela that morning, and her head snapped up to look at Jane when she heard her name. "What?" she said, thinking Jane must have been trying to say something to her.
Jane smiled sheepishly at Maura and said, "I'm thankful for Maura. For being my best friend through everything we've been through in the past year. I'm thankful for her for opening her home to me and my family. I'm just thankful to have her in my life."
After a long moment Maura broke eye contact with Jane and looked down self-consciously.
Angela reached over from her spot at the head of the table and squeezed Jane's arm and then said, "Let's eat."
After dinner everyone moved to the living room to watch the Philadelphia-Dallas football game.
Maura brought Jane a cup of coffee, sat down next to her on the couch, and asked, "Are you sure you don't want to take a nap before work?"
"No, I'll sleep at work if there aren't any calls."
"You can call me if you need anything," Maura offered.
"I'm not going to interrupt the rest of your night," Jane responded. "I'll be fine."
Silently, Maura slipped her fingers into Jane's palm, her thumb brushing over the back of Jane's hand where it rested on the couch between them.
Jane asked, "Are you okay?"
"Yes. I'm just having a really nice day," Maura answered.
Jane smiled and squeezed Maura's hand, not letting go until she had to get up to leave for work. They chatted quietly with each other during the next hour, oblivious to the raised eyebrows of Frankie and Tommy and to Angela's knowing smile. Neither Jane nor Maura wanted to say anything directly, not wanting to ruin the moment or rush whatever was happening, but there was a palpable feeling that something had somehow shifted between them since Jane's statement at dinner.
It was only with great reluctance that Jane got up to say goodbye to everyone and leave for her overnight shift. She was already out to the street where her car was parked when she heard her name being called. She turned around to see Maura hurrying towards her. Jane moved back to the sidewalk and held out her hand, saying, "Careful it's still slippery out here."
Maura put her hand into Jane's and held out the plastic container she was holding in her other hand. "I packed a few pieces of pie for you in case you get hungry overnight."
"Thanks," Jane said, taking the container from Maura.
Maura didn't let go of Jane's hand, though, as she said, "I-," and then paused, looking away from Jane.
"What is it?" Jane asked gently.
"I just…I just want you to know that I'm thankful for you too," Maura said.
"I know, sweetie," Jane said, squeezing Maura's hand.
"No, you don't know," Maura said, shaking her head. She put her hand on Jane's hip and stepped into Jane's body, getting onto to her tiptoes and then kissing Jane's lips softly.
When Maura pulled back Jane immediately moved in for another kiss, pressing her lips firmly against Maura's. She parted her lips and Maura did the same, taking Jane's bottom lip between hers.
When they parted again Jane leaned her forehead against Maura's and closed her eyes. "I really have to go," she said."I have to relieve Korsak."
"Maybe you could come back here in the morning?" Maura suggested.
"I may not be good company in the morning. I may be exhausted."
"Just come. You can go to sleep here, but I want to see you."
"Okay," Jane agreed.
"Be safe," Maura said and pressed her lips to Jane's one more time.
After an uneventful night, Jane made her way back to Maura's house. She'd managed a few hours of fitful sleep, kept awake by her mind racing with desire to get back to Maura's house as soon as possible and replaying their kiss over and over in her mind. She couldn't stop thinking about how the previous day had unfolded, how everything had seemed so natural and right that it was crazy to think that it had taken them so long to get there.
She brought a duffle bag that she kept in her car with extra clothes into Maura's house and made her way upstairs. The house was quiet, and Jane peeked into Maura's room to see that she was still asleep. She went down the hall to the guest bathroom where she found one of Maura's extra thick and fluffy bath towels waiting for her.
It was a simple gesture, and one totally unnecessary because Jane knew where to find a towel on her own. But it brought back everything Jane had thought and felt the day before. Maura knew that she would want to take a shower when she arrived and that she would want one of her special towels, even though Jane always made fun of them.
Jane showered just to clean off her body, not wanting to get her hair wet. She put on a t-shirt and shorts from her duffle bag and then quietly went into Maura's room. She stopped at the side of the bed, realizing that Maura had asked her to come to the house, she hadn't asked her to climb into bed with her.
Before she could ponder what she was supposed to do for too long, Maura's sleep laced voice said, "What are you waiting for?"
"An invitation, I guess," Jane said.
Maura turned enough to look over her shoulder at Jane and said with a grin, "Come to bed, Jane."
Jane slid under the covers and pressed herself against Maura's back and wrapped an arm around Maura's waist.
"Did you get any sleep?" Maura asked.
"Not really. Did you?"
"Not much. All of the sudden I couldn't sleep without you here with me."
Jane kissed Maura's shoulder. "Well, we can sleep in together now."
"Not too late though," Maura said. "We need to do something nice for your mother today."
"Why is that?" Jane asked.
"I have a lot to be thankful to her for," Maura answered enigmatically.
Jane just squeezed Maura tighter and they both quickly fell asleep.