And there you stood, just like everyday and right away I knew that nothing had changed. All the moments between us this past summer, all the times together; it was all a waste. I never expected this to happen, I never thought we'd end up like this. Like we didn't go through the same things, like I don't know what you know. I can't say it'll ever be the same for me. I may not be your favorite memory, but you will always be mine.
Looking back I see your eyes look right back into mine and I felt something. Maybe it was the way you smirked, or the way you pretended to be serious. Maybe it was the way your hand was brushing my leg, or the way you made me blush like no other. Maybe it was the nights under the stars playing tag in the dark, or the way you always insisted we did something fun rather than just watching a movie.. every single night. I still remember the time we both wore all white on accident and it poured rain, and instead of just running inside you kissed me. Call me naive, but that was the best kiss of my life. It made everything else float away, and I'll never forget that day, that beautiful summer day in the green field. (I still can't believe that's what you named it out of everything.)
Now here we stand, back at school, it appears that everything has changed. I can't even think straight as I see you in that blue shirt I always told you was my favorite. I can't even breath as I watch you intake a breath. I can't even move as I see you talking about how your summer was only okay and how you missed them tons. I see them nod and ask if there were any girls in your life this past summer. I held my breath as I waited for your answer, and when you told them no an unwilling tear dripped down my cheek but I quickly swept it away. At this moment I knew everything we shared was nothing to you as it was to me. Tonight I'll cry myself to sleep, and I have a feeling I won't be a second thought in your head. I hope that one day, I'll get over you the way you got over me.
It's the second week back from break now and everyone is starting to get back into the swing of things. It appears you have too. I wanted to talk to you yesterday but then somebody else came by so I just left. The jealousy stings me like a swordfish (yeah I don't get it either) and I wonder if you still look at me like I look at you. I looked for you on the train that first day. I was even wearing that blue shirt you always said was your favorite. It hurt me when I realized you weren't looking for me, when you wouldn't look at me when I stared at you from afar.
I imagined us bringing our relationship out into the open here at school, I imagined us holding hands in the hallway and showing everyone how amazing this summer was. I imagined you coming to me after a bad day and saying how just being with me brightened your mood. I would be your knight in shinning armor (only less corny) and you'd be my gorgeous goddess. Nothing would get in our way when we were together and everyone would envy what we had.
Yet I see you standing there having fun with all your old friends, friends who never wrote you over this summer, and I see I don't fit into your life. I see that you'll never feel the same way I feel about you, so I make the hardest decision of my life. I decide to let you go. And although I regret it more than anything I've ever wanted to take back in my life, I lie to my mates when they ask me about my summer. Like typical guys none of them notice when my eyes glass over, and I pray that no tears leak from these eyes.