His mind was reeling with so many questions as he continued up the long, spiral staircase. Did he really want this? Was he willing to risk the consequences?
Yes. He wanted this. He wanted it so badly for so long, but being the quiet, timid person that he was, he'd never had the guts to go for it. Even now, after the years had passed and he'd grown into a tall, handsome young man, he was still often unsure of himself.
But no more. Tonight, if only for that time, he wouldn't be the shy, complacent servant. No, tonight, as he carried his young master up to his room, he felt a surge of courage that urged him on. Finding the door at the end of the hall, he turned the handle quietly and moved inside.
Tonight, for once, would be about him and what he wanted. It was right there for him, and he was going to take it.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Earlier in the gardens:
Gilbert Nightray walked swiftly through the hedge maze, occasionally casting a nervous glance over his shoulder as he went. Several roses bloomed bright among the leaves, glowing red in the late afternoon sun. In his haste, he failed to notice the one blossom that appeared slightly wilted, one of its slowly greying petals drifting to the ground in silence.
Gilbert then came to the middle of the maze-garden, which today had a table and two chairs set up waiting for him. On the table sat a large teapot and two small cups facing one another in the middle. Behind the far wall of the maze he could see the quiet, looming mansion in the distance. The other servants of the household were given leave for a day off, and the large house almost seemed haunted in the absence of people.
Sitting in one of the chairs was his young master, Oz Bezarius. He was reclining back with his arms behind his head, watching the birds that flew over the maze. He looked up as Gilbert approached, a soft smile gracing his lips. Gilbert was so entranced by that smile that he failed to notice his master's movement until it was too late.
The dark haired servant rubbed his head and tried to put on his best glare. "Ow! Master Oz, what was that all about?!"
Obviously, his expression did nothing, as Oz smiled back at him mischievously. "That was for being late. I asked you to meet me here a half an hour ago."
Still rubbing his head, Gilbert took his seat and looked away. "Sorry. Break had a last-minute favor he wanted to ask me about before he left."
"It's alright." The next few minutes were followed by silence as Oz continued to watch the birds and flowers. Despite the growing bump on his head, Gilbert couldn't help but smile as he watched his master.
It didn't seem that long ago that Oz had managed to escape from the Abyss; despite looking the same as he did 10 years ago, his master had definitely changed. It was something about the way he carried himself; regardless of what came his way, he would accept it and do his best to get through it. Oz was kind and strong, much stronger than he thought he was, and Gilbert had always loved that about him. Yes, he was sure he loved his master; he knew it almost from the first day they had met. Oz protected him and cared for him, when it was his job, as the servant, to protect and care for him.
Oz was beautiful. He wanted him so badly, but something loomed on the horizon that threatened his chance of finding love in return.
It was that stupid rabbit! She had followed Oz out of the Abyss and now she stuck to him like glue! And worse, in his good nature, his master had accepted her! Now, Alice commanded all of Oz's attention, and the envy Gilbert now felt was slowly driving him insane!
Ah, but today the stupid rabbit was out with Break and Miss Sharon! Surely today, he would have his chance to confess to Oz and have his master finally accept his love!
But would he? A small fear lagged in the back of his mind, telling him that he was sick and twisted. Oz cared for him, that much he could see, but there could be no way the younger man would ever accept him for this! This was a forbidden love; strange, unnatural. They didn't even look the same age anymore! The voice only got louder, telling him he had no chance. But he could not deny his feelings or his want......
"You know, it doesn't feel like it's been that long since we played here as kids."
Gilbert blinked out of his trance, noticing immediately that Oz was no longer in his seat. He turned around to see that his master now stood behind him, looking curiously at the rose he had passed earlier. Oz bent down and picked up the petal that had fallen, rubbing it between his fingers as he spoke. " I realize that there's only so much time left until the seal activates and I'm dragged back into the Abyss. But sometimes I still miss the way things were." He laughed somewhat bitterly and sadly as he continued to gaze at the rose, whose time to bloom was also running out.
Gilbert watched him sadly, understanding his pain. Why did everything always have to be taken away? But Oz's words reminded him of his own time limit, and he knew that this chance might never come again. He reached into his pocket and took out a small glass vial, slowly and quietly emptying its contents into Oz's cup. He then replaced the vial in his coat and poured the tea.
"Don't worry, Master Oz. Well find a way to undo the contract you made with that stupid rabbit and remove the seal, I swear to you." Oz smiled at him sadly and walked back over, accepting the cup that Gilbert offered him.
"I don't want to go back to the Abyss, but I also want to help Alice regain her memories. She is....a very important person to me, and I feel that the key to getting rid of the seal is in her memories somewhere."
Gilbert nodded, but inside he felt like a raging storm was rolling over in his heart. If only Oz would see only him!
The two talked for a while longer, drinking their tea and watching the sun as it slowly trekked across the sky. Gilbert felt his heart leap whenever Oz smiled; he was always able to tell when it was real or fake, and he was glad that, around him, his master could smile genuinely as he did in the past.
After some time, however, Gilbert saw his master's eyelids begin to droop; the younger man leaning his head on his hands lightly as they talked.
"Master Oz, are you alright?" Although the answer was clear to him already.
Oz blinked at him sleepily, smiling reassuringly back at him. "I'm fine, Gil. I just feel really...tired all of the sudden..."
They talked for a few minutes more before Oz began to sway a little in his chair, and Gilbert moved quickly to catch him before he fell. He gazed at the sleeping man before him longingly, brushing several stray blond hairs from his face as he stroked his cheek gently. Soon, he lifted Oz into his arms and carried him out of the garden.
Why did everything always have to be taken away?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Gilbert gazed at Oz's sleeping form on his bed, suddenly debating again whether or not to continue. It was true; he wanted Oz. But was he willing to risk the consequences?
What if Oz was angry at him? He would be, without a doubt. Would he dismiss him from service? Leave him alone? No, that thought was too much to bear! He needed Oz, and he truly cared about him.
If that was how he really felt, would he really go through with this? Taking something so precious without his master's consent?
As these thoughts ran through his head, Gilbert noticed that tears had begun to fall from his eyes. Pictures began to run through his head as well; happy memories of them together; playing with Ada, Oz waving another terrifying cat in his face..... Well, the last one not so much. But still he looked at them and realized that he couldn't do this. He was ashamed he'd even thought it up, let alone tried to go through with it! He would always be content just staying at Oz's side, if that was where he was wanted.
As he attempted to rub the tears from his eyes, he jumped slightly when a soft hand caressed his cheek and brushed the tears away. Brilliant green eyes looked up at him thoughtfully; they weren't judging or harsh at all.
Gilbert was at a loss for words. What would Oz think of him now? He despaired as he tried to find his voice again.
"Master Oz....I-" But suddenly those green eyes narrowed slightly, and before he could even blink, Gilbert felt the softest lips pressed against his own. He gasped in surprise at his master's sudden, bold movement, but Oz didn't stop. He wrapped his small arms around Gilbert's neck and leaned further into the kiss, licking at his servant's bottom lip to ask permission.
Gilbert moaned lightly, face flushing at their closeness and intimacy. After a few minutes, Oz leaned back and broke the kiss, looking up at him with a strange, playful look in his eyes.
"M-Master Oz? What are you-" The younger man pressed a finger to his lips, smiling at him as he spoke. "I'm sorry, Gil. I've been ignoring you, haven't I? But it's alright now..."
Gilbert felt a strange feeling wash over him and he moved Oz's finger away from his lips before he attacked the younger man's. He felt such relief, such love, knowing that his master had accepted him.
Oz whispered between his kisses. "We're running out of time, Gil...." And amid his kisses, he responded, "I know."
But for once, nothing had to be so forcefully taken away. It was freely given.