If there is one emotion a soldier must never feel, it is fear.
Chapter One
Raindrops
It was raining.
The soft droplets tapping against the back window...
The sound of thunder rumbling like drums across the faraway sky...
The gentle shift of the trees along the road...
The sway of the H-Tram as it rolled along the dirt path..It was almost calming, inside the lonely back capsule of the S.T.O.R.M. vehicle. There was plenty of room to move around, and a bed made out of the comfortable cushion where soldier upon solder had sat before. There was a light on either side of the wall, and would be on, if the driver in the front hadn't neglected to switch them back on after a bump over an hour before.
Other than the rare cracks of lightning in the sky of black overhead, the containment area was dark.
"Sir.."
A quiet voice spoke in the dark, near the front of the capsule. It was more like a squeak than anything, one soft tap on the window from the crying clouds outside.
"Sir..it's very cold in here."
The voice, louder, was accompanied by the wrapping sound of a hand scraping against a metallic door.
There was no answer.
Guess he didn't hear me, the one who had spoken thought to herself, tensing slightly as her ears adjusted to the noise outside. Rain was crashing down on the windows that made up the back doors, much taller than she could dream of being at this age. Her feet dragged across the steel ground underneath her, a hand brushing against what she hoped was the bar that made up the right seating area. The bar was cold, and at the gentle brush of her finger, her entire arm trembled. The sound of the storm outside was deafening, and her other hand raised to touch her ear as if it would soothe the ache.
The truck bounced and lurched forward as it passed over yet another bump, a squeal echoing in the darkness as she was sent to her knees from the unexpected obstacle.
A hiss escaped her lips, teeth grinding together as she forced herself into a sitting position. As the vehicle rumbled and regained composure, her body was sent across the tram, unaware of where exactly in the unit she was. Light had left the unit when the lightning finally came to a blinding halt around twenty minutes before, and ever since the tram had been cascaded in utter black. Only by memorizing the layout of the car and being able to put her hands on the left seat railing gave her any indication that she had switched sides.
Outside, lightning crackled in the distance, every cloud turning silver for the moments that followed until it passed.
I hate the rain..
A soft shiver passed through her spine as she steadily raised herself to stand once more. By the time the drive had come to an end, her uniform would be caked in holes from the sharp edges of rails she had slammed into, which she knew had at least cut into her left knee once since boarding the tram hours before.
How long had it been...
How long have I been in here?
Guess that depends what time it is.
The young female checked her wrist for the time, the grim realization she had yet to buy another watch resonating only when she wasn't greeted by the faint light. Her watch had broken earlier that day [or was it yesterday, maybe two days ago?] and she hadn't the chance to leave on her own before being picked up at dusk. When the commander said dusk, he meant as soon as the sky gave any hint of a hue other than bright blue as the sun began to set.
Walking across again wasn't as difficult, now that she took one step at a time to make sure she was balanced. Step by step, she reached the locked doors that would, in the morning, swing outwards and allow her freedom once more... Right into the hands of Commandant Marshall Charlemagne, who, from tomorrow, would be supervising her entire training course for the next three years.
A small hand briefly touched the glass, hesitantly tapping the window before resting the entirety of her palm against the cool barrier to the outside world. Stepping closer, her face came into the reflection, her cheek pressing softly against the glass. Her eyes ached as she searched her reflection, blinking as a dark green iris stared back at her.
You have your mother's eyes. So bright and curious..
She vaguely remembered the sound of a man greeting her, all those years ago. A large man greeting her parents, the sound of her little brother's bubbling laughter, the endless display of animals and minerals she had yet to understand..
Mother would not approve of this... her only daughter, a soldier..
Her hand was joined by its opposite, her eyes beginning to shut as the ferocity of heartache stretched across her chest.
If she and father were still...
Her hands clenched awkwardly against the glass, sliding and squeaking as her fingers curled into a fist. Pain rippled across her forehead as the memories flooded back, her sleeve creasing against her neck as her shoulder pressed to the metal beneath the window.
Joining the organization that caused you to leave..Aren't you proud?
Her head was swimming, her upper body swaying as her vision blurred. Down the door she slid, arms folding over her head in an attempt to resist the dizziness that shrouded her thoughts. Her legs squeaked against the floor as she came into a kneeling position, guarded by the right seating area, with her hands entangled in her hair and eyes squinted shut as the pain continued to spread. Her whole head tossed and her lips quivered in an attempt to stop the trembling of her entire body. Her heartbeat drummed in her ears, echoing louder... and louder..
She could still hear the thunder, the sound of glass window panes shattering and scattering across the forest floor, walls caving in as energy burst from within..
The sudden jolt of rolling onto her side did nothing to distract her unwavering agony, her entire body trembling as she brought her head to her knees. She was curled into a tight ball, stomach contacting and earning a cramp that felt nearly as back as her headache. A moan rolled off of her lips as she desperately tried to distract herself, submerging into happy memories..But the memories of joy did not come.
I can't breathe...It hurts..
The explosion, hundreds of feet away...
Sirens echoing in the far distance, the ground trembling from the sudden explosion..
The realization she was alone.
"No more, please!" Her cry was not heard, muffled by the fabric of her uniform and the thunder booming overhead. The lightning could have been right outside, for all she knew, her ears popping at the sound and heart lurching at the familiar noise.
"Make it stop!" She screamed, sweat rolling off her brow and tears dusting the pale cheeks that glowed with scarlet pain. Her breath came in short rasps, throat dry and thirsty for relief of the sore tragedy riding her skin.
There was no waking from this nightmare, no warm arms of her father to tell her everything was all right.
No grinning lips of her sibling to cheer her up, no gentle press of her mother's hand against her cheek letting her know that the pain was only temporary..
"Mother..please.." Her tone was quiet, fearful, almost as if she had lost her voice in a few short minutes. The trembling subsided, but her pale cheeks were now covered in two flowing rivers of tears. As quick as they came, the tears slowed, dripping onto the floor in their own rhythmic pattern. Her fingers traced her knees as she curled herself tighter, hands locking around her ankles and forehead pressed to her knees.
Make it go away..
Silence cleared the room.
She wasn't quite sure how long she laid there, her breath slowing and the cold beginning to settle in once more.
A soldier..lying on the ground...in a useless ball...what would Charlemagne think?
It was a sickening thought, churning inside of her stomach. Even if the darkness blinded her, the image of her commandant was clear - whip and all. A whip that would be meeting her skin in the morning if she was laying in the corner as she was now...
It's so cold.
The struggle was not standing, but finding the strength to do so.
The clouds weeping grew stronger. Crawling along the floor was easier said than done, her hands brushing against the steel. She stumbled like a blind fool, resorting to resting on her knees and elbows as her body grew tired from the struggle. There was no use in opening her eyes, other than assisting in gathering comfort and the courage to keep moving forward.
The tram shook.
Although she did lose her balance, she was quick to regain composure. Firmly, her hands gripped the stone, knees spreading to balance her weight. Her head bowed, bracing herself as thunder shook the truck roughly. Had she been a fool and not gained this position, she would have greeted the ground once more.
I refuse to fall.
Not again.
In that same rumble of thunder, her fear was gone. Out of the darkness of the rain, her determination claimed victory.
The tram settled - she could feel the pebbles the tires rolled over, swaying the back room and earning a frustrated grunt. Her struggle was not in vain - even as the cold kissed her cheeks and chilled her exposed skin, there was an upside. Her left index finger brushed against what seemed to be fabric, and as she rested on her legs, she concluded what the source was. Both hands grasped the fabric firmly as she traced along its edge.
It was the blanket.
Black as old leather with the classic S.T.O.R.M. insignia engraved into the center, she had tossed it aside earlier during the first hour of the ride. Before it had been raining...before she was unable to see through the darkness. It was comforting, almost...
She could sleep.
Pulling the blanket around her shoulders, her left hand reached out to the side. Her satisfaction was clear by the soft twitch of her lips - she had found the seating area. The least she could do was lay down, even though the idea of laying where other solders had placed their...
She shook her head.
Without much work, she found herself pressing into the deep gray cushions, the blanket stretching from her shoulders and leading further past her legs, which were curled closer to her stomach. The makeshift bed was so warm... It did not compare to her old bed, or the one she would be expected to sleep in for the coming years... No soft pillows her cousin would personally deliver, no brush of a family cat's tail as she read, no echo of the horses thundering hooves from below...
No family just a wall away...
Even if Lance was a fellow soldier, and would be one of the first to greet her when she was to exit... She would no longer find him down the hall.
He was a soldier... As she would be.
As the rest of their family was.
We'll always be with you. We're in your blood.
Liar.
Charlemagne's training would be rigorous. For the next few years, until the older woman was confident in her skills, she would not have a day of rest. Routine checks, tests of willpower and endurance, measures of her mental strength...Her fears...
She sighed.
She wasn't a preteen anymore. She wasn't an age, a gender, a child. She was simply a soldier. A dog of the military force.
This wasn't the time for that.
She had years to regret and doubt her decision.
But this... this was her fate.
Fate to be met with tired eyes...
Rolling over to face the wall, she pulled the blanket closer to her chin, squinting her eyes closed.
Tomorrow would begin her new life...
The least she could do was try and sleep, drifting into darkness to the sound of the raindrop lullaby overhead.