Don't ask. I don't know. I think I may have been sleep deprived. Or drunk. Or space monkeys. Whatever the reason, these are for Darkly Dreaming who keeps me on my toes by always challenging me in ways I am sure she regrets, and would probably deny if asked.
:Rain:
The rain beat down on the pavement like a drum. The street lamps barely cut through the gloom to reveal a group of people huddled together under a large umbrella. Only one of them was dry, the tall figure in the middle who gripped the handle as if his life depended on it. The others crowded around him where dry on one side but soaked on the other. None of them looked happy.
Raj shivered and tried to inch closer to the center. Sheldon hissed as his left foot was trod upon. He elbowed Leonard sharply. Leonard bumped into Bernadette who jostled Howard. Howard's drenched left arm grabbed onto Penny to keep his balance. Penny jumped and turned to punch him, causing her elbow to lodge itself in Sheldon's back.
"That's it!" Sheldon said angrily. "There is not enough room under the umbrella for all of us! I insist the rest of you give me space!"
"What do you suggest?" asked Leonard crossly. "I guess you want us to stand three feet away?"
Sheldon looked down his nose at them. "Nonsense. 20 inches would be sufficient."
"We are not standing in the rain!" Penny argued.
"The umbrella's shelter is not sufficient for everyone here," Sheldon insisted. "All of you are already partially wet. A few more drops of rain will not hurt."
"Wanna bet?" Bernadette hissed warningly.
Penny tried to placate Sheldon. "If we all scoot in closer, there is enough room."
Sheldon twitched for a moment before suddenly trying to push everyone away. "No! This is ridiculous! I demand you all step away from the umbrella!"
"It's MY umbrella!" Raj shouted.
Anyone walking or driving by would have witnessed quite a scene if the sheeting rain didn't obscure their view. The sight of six grown people tussling like children would have amused many, and probably ended up on youtube.
Amy stared at the scene in front of her with confusion. All of her friends were soaking wet and muddy. A tattered umbrella lay beside the street lamp. Sheldon stood off to the side of the group, about 20 inches of space separating him from the others. She sighed heavily and waved them over. Sheldon slid into the front seat, and the others crowded into the back with Penny on Raj's lap and Bernadette of Howard's.
Amy pulled back into traffic and headed toward Los Robles Avenue. She bit the inside of her cheek and looked at Sheldon. "I take it dinner ended badly?"
"Just drive," Sheldon hissed.
Amy glanced in the mirror at the others and decided to do just that. She could tell everyone was one wrong word away from choking the life from each other. Instead she turned on the radio and focused on the drive.
:More Rain:
Penny's jaw dropped as she struggled to find something to say. All that came out was a snort-like giggle. She took a step toward her window and tilted her head. "Um, Sheldon? Why are you outside my window? In the rain. Naked."
"Let me in," he begged.
Penny covered her mouth with one hand to hide her mirth. "I don't believe I heard the magic word."
His eyes narrowed and he started to argue but a wolf whistle from the alley below startled him. He teetered for a moment before gripping the sill tighter. "Let me in!" He cried out. "PLEASE!"
Penny hurried over and unlocked her window. Sheldon scrambled in off the narrow ledge and fell onto the floor beside her. He hopped up immediately, his hands moving to cover his generous attributes. A blush covered his entire body as he tried to pretend he wasn't embarrassed.
"Thank you for opening the window," he said stiffly, water dripping everywhere. "May I borrow a towel?"
Penny snickered lightly and walked to the bathroom. She brought out a couple of towels and a robe. Sheldon blushed even harder when he realized he would have to move his hands from his pelvis to take a towel.
Penny clenched her lips tight to keep from smiling. "I'll help." She walked around behind him and began drying his back. When she reached his buttocks Sheldon jumped several inches and raced from the apartment.
Penny followed to the doorway where she saw Leonard, Raj and Amy standing in the stairwell watching with shocked expressions. Leonard cleared his throat and looked at Penny accusingly. "Wanna catch me up?" he asked tightly.
Penny looked at the open door of 4A where she could see Sheldon disappearing into the bathroom. She smiled and shook her head. "Nope." She stepped back into her apartment and closed her door.
:Lots of Rain:
"You know, if people had just listened to me…"
"Shut it."
*huff* "All I am saying is…"
"Shut it."
"I find your attitude to be very…"
"SHUT IT!"
…
…
…
"Are you still mad?"
"Om. My. GOD! You are physically incapable of shutting up!"
"Bernadette, it has been raining for 232 days. We have been aboard this… this… rowboat for 96 days! All our friends, family and acquaintances are drowned or missing. Is it so unreasonable that I would wish to discus our circumstances with the only person left besides myself?"
"I swear on my own life that if you do not shut up, I will strip naked and kiss you!"
…
…
…
"Okay."
…
…
"WHAT?"
"I will allow you to strip naked and kiss me if I am allowed to continue to talk."
"Have you lost your mind?"
"Bernadette?"
"WHAT?"
"Bazinga."
*splash*
:Nothing But Rain:
Headlights appeared over the hill and the three of them peered hopefully through the steadily falling rain. Leonard's car pulled up beside Penny's broken down VW. Sheldon rolled down his window and looked at Raj, Bernadette and Penny with wide eyes. "You cannot ride in the car as wet as you are! You'll ruin the upholstery!"
"Open the door, Sheldon, or I'll rip off a body part you may miss," Penny hissed, leaning in close.
Sheldon's eyes drifted down and he frowned slightly. "Penny, do you realize I can see your nipples?"
Penny rolled her eyes and opened the back door. "It's not the first time you've seen them, Sheldon."
Leonard's jaw dropped as he looked at Sheldon. "You've seen Penny's nipples?"
Penny snickered. "He's touched one, too." Sheldon glared at her fiercely over her teasing tone.
"Why were you touching my Penny?!" Leonard demanded, conveniently forgetting he was with Priya now.
Penny looked at Leonard with exasperation as she settled in beside Bernadette. "Excuse me? Your what?"
Sheldon glanced back at Penny. "Despite the fact that your ill advised relationship with Leonard has ended, he still maintains that he has dibs on your affections."
Penny snorted loudly. "Yeah. Not happening. No one gets to call dibs on me."
Sheldon looked at Leonard with annoyance. "You said Penny was destined to be with you. If Penny disputes that, then why can't I ask her out?"
Leonard banged his head on the steering wheel for a moment. "Can we just get home?" he whined. "With as little talk of nipples or dibs as possible?"
Sheldon closed his window and settled back in his seat calmly. "I don't understand what the fuss is about. We all have them, Leonard."
Leonard gritted his teeth as Penny snickered. "Moon Pie, do you want to ask me out?"
Sheldon looked at her through the rear view mirror. "Leonard said there is a bro code that forbids it."
Penny rolled her eyes as Bernadette laughed out loud. "Sweetie, the bro code is just a way for guys to cock-block one another."
Sheldon thought about it for a moment. "So, there is no reason I could not ask?"
Leonard groaned and pressed harder on the gas. The sooner he got them home, the sooner he could get Sheldon alone and forbid him from dating Penny.
Penny leaned forward and looked at Leonard fiercely. "No reason at all. And if anyone tries to interfere, maybe you'll see more than just a nip, Moon Pie."
Sheldon smirked at Leonard who paled. "Excellent."
When they got to the apartment building Leonard stomped all the way up to the fourth floor. Sheldon and Bernadette watched as Penny and Raj grinned at one another. "You were right," Sheldon said fondly. "He still has no idea the four of us are in a relationship."
Penny leaned up and lightly kissed Raj's jaw before looking at Sheldon. "Don't forget, it's our three month anniversary Saturday."
Sheldon threaded his fingers with Bernadette's as they headed up the steps. "I have not forgotten the thoroughly arbitrary anniversary you girls insist on celebrating. I have already planned an evening of food and coitus for the four of us."
Bernadette giggled as Raj winked at her over his shoulder. They all knew no one would understand the way their relationship worked, and that was okay. The four of them were happy. That's all that really mattered.