It seems as though I was the only one of my brother's siblings that not only felt but understood that you should love their children as a part of their sibling of whom they were born to. My sister, Caroline, lives in Mobile and had been cold and distant towards Jem and Scout, especially since their mother's death. My sister, Alexandra, on the other hand, was cold and too involved. I will never know which one has the more negative effect even though they are both equally bad. I like to consider myself involved with my niece and nephew and always warm enough for them to enjoy my company. I like to think I'm doing a good job at being an uncle.

After Dr. Reynolds, Heck Tate, and Arthur Radley went home, I was the next person Atticus had called. The wind was knocked out of me. I just remember praying to God with gratitude that those children were going to make it but then I prayed to God that I was not going to kill myself or anyone else in the blind rage that began to sweep through my alcoholic veins. I hopped on the midnight train and wasn't going to look back anytime soon. I swore that when my brother picked me up from the station the following night that he had aged another ten years.

"How are you holding up?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"I'm holding," he breathed, heavily. "I don't know how but I'm doing it."

"Are the children all right?"

"Jem woke up but he's in a lot of pain and Scout seems to be all right."

"Thank God nothing happened to her."

My brother had begun to cry after I made that comment. He took off his glasses, pinched the bridge of his nose, and let the tears fall down. I wrapped my arm around him and walked him all the way back to his car just like that.

"Do you want me to drive?" I asked.

"No," he said as he wiped his face with his hankerchief. "No. I need to focus on something else or I will go insane."

"Okay."

He managed to get into the car just fine and he drove slow but steady back to his house. It didn't stop him from crying though. I wasn't about to stop him. I was only Jem and Scout's uncle and I felt broken about the situation; I could never imagine being Atticus in this moment.

"Bob Ewell didn't hurt Jem the way he hurt Scout," Atticus squeaked out.

"What?"

"Heck Tate found Scout's dress," he explained. "She couldn't find it. She wore her ham costume all the way home. Scout told me that Jem had tried to take her ham costume off to escape Mr. Ewell and they couldn't get it off."

"That doesn't explain how Scout was hurt differently."

"She was hurt differently by what he wanted to do to her."

"I don't understand."

"Brother, when Heck Tate brought in her dress, there was a visible white stain on it. He wanted to rape her."

"That sick bastard!"

A surge of vomit entered my mouth. My Jean Louise, my niece, my baby, my sweet, my angel. Tears began to well in my eyes as I thought of her mother. Oh Jean, what did this man do to your babies? Jem will always be affected by what happened and Scout will always be affected by what could have happened to her.

"She doesn't know, right?"

"No, she doesn't. I hope she never finds out but you know how word gets around. That goddamned costume, Jack. Do you know what could have happened if she took it off? How did he know he could have done such a thing to my baby?"

"Some men are just born sick, Atticus."

We turned into the driveway and I all of a sudden wondered if I could even face Scout after finding out that information. I was going to anyway. I was her uncle and she needed me here. I walked gently up the steps as to not disturb anyone. It was the kid's bedtime and sure enough, Calpurnia and Alexandra warned me to be quiet because the kids were asleep.

"Especially, Jem, Jack," Alexandra scolded in a whisper.

"All right, Zandra," I whispered back, waving my hand for her to cool it. "Maybe if I could just see Scout."

"You can have a look at her," Atticus said as he lead me to her room. He was very quiet turning the knob and Scout never woke up to him opening the door. The moonlight shined in her face and it was almost like she was smiling in her sleep. Dream on, baby girl, dream on. Uncle Jack loves you.

I turned to Atticus and nodded for him to close the door. Another successful sneak and I gave my brother a hug. I took his hand and he walked me out to the porch. I said my goodbyes to him and to Calpurnia and Zandra before heading across the street to Maudie's where I would be spending my leave of absence. I decided to cut through her lawn and go through the back door to her kitchen. I could tell that was the only room in the house with the light on. Maudie had been up baking and I could smell the delicious cake aroma as I set foot.

"Hey, darling," she said as she looked up from her batter bowl and took the spatula out of her mouth.

"Hey," I said as I walked over to her. She was wearing cozy, white nightgown and little else. "I'll give you a taste test."

I gave her a gentle kiss on the lips and it made her giggle. She stopped when she must have noticed the pain in my eyes. Maudie knows me better than almost anyone and can just sense what I'm feeling.

"Are you all right? Tell me what you're feeling."

I looked at her again and I just wanted to touch her. Not in a sexual way, but a loving way. I took her in my arms and held her close. I didn't care if cake batter got on me.

"I love you," I told her.

"I love you, too," she said to me.

"I'm going to be gentle with you from now on."

"Oh, really?"

"Because you were a young girl once and men should never forget that."