Title: Watch My Heart Bleed

Rating: T

Genre: Angst and Romance

Warning: Character death- Self harm

Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

"You stupid, fucking cow."

"I love you, Lambo."
"You're worthless."
"You're so beautiful."

Make up your mind... you stupid hitman. Don't leave me crying in bed alone, with my ass hurting like hell, and my heart feeling worse. You don't care, do you? Of course not. I'm always left in physical and emotional pain when you leave. Hoping one day, you'll realize, and fix my broken heart. Lambo repeated the first part of his normal ritual of crying this to himself. He then proceeded to the bathroom to finish the second. Grabbing the straight razor he had hidden in a box, he sat and pressed it to his wrist. He slowly slid it across the skin, tears mixing into blood in the wound. It burned like hell, but he didn't care. He needed it; something, to take his mind off the pain in his chest. He felt like his ribs were made of broken glass, and every time his heart pounded it cut deeper. The blade left the crying cow boy's wrist. It all started when he met Reborn... and then... five years ago... when they became lovers.

"Reborn, you're drunk."

"Lambo I am perfectly sober." Reborn, the hitman said, kissing him again. Things escalated... and for the first time... Lambo had sex with the world's greatest hitman. He didn't regret a moment, he had been in love with Reborn for quite a while, but what came after is what hurt him.

He turned over, his backside completely sore; allowing a few tears to escape. The hitman rolled his eyes and scoffed. "You're such a fucking brat. You get an amazing night with me and you're fucking crying?" He snickered maliciously. Lambo just lay there, feeling pain, silently wishing he'd leave. Soon, he did; Lambo cried his heart out, until the pain got to be too much, and he ran into the bathroom and slit his wrists. He was originally hoping to die, but he couldn't go through with it. He bandaged his wrists and continued with his awful life.

Nights like this continued between them, Reborn raping Lambo and leaving, Lambo crying his eyes out and cutting. The blades had become familiar and comforting to him. The cuts had turned into stress relievers and helpers. The blood was his friend. He didn't know how to cope with the pain any other way than slicing himself open and watching the blood. Lambo had never known what it was like to be wanted before Vongola, and not so much anymore. The Bovino famiglia threw him out when he was five, and then Vongola took him in. He owed everything to Tenth, but there is one thing he has never known, true love. A twenty five year old man... and he didn't know love. Reborn didn't love him, and Vongola didn't love him the way he wished Reborn did.

Days after, Reborn came again, but this time, something was off. Lambo expected to be thrown down on the couch and taken, but that wasn't what happened. Reborn came in and took out a bottle of vodka that Lambo was never going to drink anyway. He drank a long sip, and then fell back against the couch. "W... what happened?" Lambo had heard rumors about one of Reborn's lovers had been a hired hit woman from a family that rivaled Vongola. Lambo then noticed the blood on his face. "R... Reborn?!" He questioned, nervously.

"I actually liked this one... she wasn't just some whore. I really liked her." He muttered shakily.

This broke Lambo's heart. "O...oh..." he mumbled.

Reborn pulled Lambo's arm and the cow man landed on the couch beside Reborn. "You're beautiful, you know that?"

Lambo's eyes widened. "N... nani?!"

" Kiss me, Cow." Reborn smashed his lips onto Lambo's in a demanding kiss. It wasn't like their others, their kisses were normally rough and bitter with an obscene amount of biting. This kiss was soft and gentle, with their lips meshing perfectly. Reborn's lips massaged Lambo's intimately, causing him to moan into the hitman's mouth. He took this opportunity to slip his tongue into the cow's mouth and taste him. Lambo only moaned more at this, the man tasted of espresso, and vodka. The smaller man wrapped his arms around the hitman's neck and ran his fingers through his hair. The fedora fell off, revealing his bloody cheeks, and closed eyes.

The kiss broke. They were left staring at each other, Lambo's emerald orbs meeting Reborn's black ones. "Lambo, I love you." Reborn murmured, looking deeply into the cow's eyes. He cupped his cheek and kissed him again. Lambo was shocked to say the least. He hadn't ever expected a love confession from Reborn.

"I love you too." He replied.

When Lambo's shirt was removed, his bandages were revealed. "What is this?!" Reborn growled, and began pulling them off.

"Ittai! Matte!" Lambo cried.

Reborn's expression dropped. "You hurt yourself?" He asked, eyes accusing.

"H... hai" he mumbled, looking down.

At this moment, Reborn grabbed Lambo again and looked deep into his green eyes. "Lambo, I'm going to make it so you never have to do this again. Who made you do this?"

Lambo stayed silent, tears falling steadily.

"Lambo..."

Lambo looked up, his eyes revealing the brutal message to his lover.

"It was me, wasn't it?"

" H...hai..." Lambo said, dropping his eyes.

Reborn's lips pressed against Lambo's wrist. "I'm sorry that I ever made you feel this way."

Those words made Lambo's heart beat a tenfold faster. That night... they made love, and Reborn stayed afterward. Lambo fell asleep in his arms.

When Lambo woke that morning, he smelled coffee. "Mmnhh... Reborn must be making coffee. He's going to be angry; I don't have any espresso..." Lambo walked out to the kitchen and saw the hitman sitting on a stool at his island.

"How do you have no espresso here?" He glared jokingly at the lightning guardian. "I had to just make strong coffee. At least it's Italian."
" I don't drink it; it makes me sick and hyper." Lambo chuckled, going to make tea.
"Strange calf. Anyway, I'm leaving today." He mumbled, looking into the mug.
Lambo nearly dropped his cup. "N-nani? Nandaio? Doko?" He choked out the three questions, what, why, and where.
" There's been a series of killings in hitmen recently, and I'm being forced by Tsuna to go." Reborn answered coolly. "It's a mission, I have to identify, locate, and destroy said target.
" O...oh." Lambo said.
"I'll be fine; it is me, after all." Reborn smirked.
"Alright." the cow man poured his tea and sat down.

They spent the entire day together, talking for hours. Lambo learned things about Reborn that he had not opened up to anyone else about. Some he wished he hadn't known. Others he did; like how there were only two people who could really bother Reborn- him and Tsuna. While it seems like this is a bad thing, it means that Reborn cared for them enough to be bothered. Lambo enjoyed this time with Reborn. Reborn learned things about Lambo, too. He learned his reasoning for self-harming; he had no self-confidence and was always abandoned or abused. The hitman learned that the younger man had lost his mother at a young age, 3, and that his father blamed him, and when he was five, finally disowned him and sent him to Japan. Being back in Italy haunted Lambo, he was afraid he'd finally see his father again. Lambo was afraid to talk to anyone aside from Tsuna about these things before, but now that Reborn was listening, he was glad to talk.

After Reborn left, Lambo fell into a depressive state. He called Reborn every so often, hoping the hitman wasn't in his continues pattern of new lovers every week. A month passed by and Lambo cried every night, in fear Reborn had not succeeded. Finally, Lambo got a call from Reborn; he'd be home in a week.
Three days before Reborn's scheduled return, Lambo got a call. "The family this hitman worked for retaliated. Reborn was killed."
No... No... Not Reborn. He was the greatest hitman in the world, he cannot die. Lambo thought. They're lying... there's no way...
Lambo wanted to go back to cutting, but he was in denial. There is no way Reborn could be dead! NO!
Lambo cried for days; his hitman, his light, his sun, was gone. Eventually... it came time for Reborn's funeral, and Lambo was in all black, with Reborn's bright yellow pacifier in his palms. Everyone was mourning, but the pain on Lambo's face was unmatchable. He cried the entire time, only giving a tortured smile to his body, seeing that his fedora was tipped over his eyes, as he did so often. I'll be with you soon...

Reborn never expected to die, especially in the cowardly way he was killed. He was about to call Lambo, to tell him he'd be home two days early, before boarding his flight to Italy, from Japan. He was actually looking forward to seeing Lambo. He smiled at the little plush cow he'd gotten for his own cow that was back at home. He had his guard down, engulfed in thoughts of the cow; he never thought there might be retaliations, he didn't see the sniper aiming at the back of his skull. He didn't see it coming. He had to watch Lambo go to his funeral. Colonello hugged Lambo tightly, as his tears overflowed repeatedly. He watched his little calf, still crying profusely, walk to his casket, and give his body a pained smile. He heard the words, "I'll be with you soon." No! Colonello! I-Pin! SOMEONE STOP HIM! Reborn's mind raged at him. The pain in his chest was indescribable. No one was going to stop Lambo from dying and it was killing him. Part of him thought maybe they could be together, but that part was sick, and selfish.

Lambo went to his home, locking the door. He felt so much pain, he was almost numb. He drug his feet and went to his bathroom, taking out the box that contained the blade. No one knew what he was going to do; he doubted anyone would care even if they did. He slid the blade down his wrist twice, in a motion he knew would kill him. He, shakily, fought the urge to bandage them, and did the same to his other wrist three times. One cut for every year him and Reborn spent as lovers. He began feeling dizzy, it hurts Reborn... it hurts here without you. The tears wouldn't stop falling and the broken-glass feeling returned. He gasped for air, he knew he was close to his death. A few moments before he took his last breath he heard the bathroom door being kicked in followed by a "Kora!" and screaming. He uttered his final words as his soul left his body. "I love you, Reborn."

Death wasn't so hard, it didn't hurt like Lambo thought it would. It seemed like he just woke up, seeing I-Pin crying and screaming over his dead body. Colonello pulled a towel over him and stood I-Pin up. He turned her away from Lambo's body. I'm sorry I-Pin. I couldn't live in a world where he didn't exist. Lambo felt a chill run up his spine, he smelled the thick scent of home and espresso. It couldn't be. He turned in his ghostly form to the spirit of the man he'd loved since he was five. Reborn!He wrapped his translucent arms around the taller man's waist.

Lambo... you don't know how happy I am to see you.

I think I do...

No you can't, but you shouldn't have done this.

I needed to be with you, I couldn't take the pain anymore.

I know... He grabbed Lambo's head and ran his fingers through his silky black locks.

They looked at the scene before them.

Hayato actually played the piano, as a tribute to his lost friends, he knew how to deal with grief.

Takeshi tried to cheer up everyone else, despite how he was dying inside.

Ryohei blamed himself, if he had only been there with Colonello, his flames could have saved Lambo.

Kyoya mourned in silence, staying in solitude from even Dino.

Dino mourned as anyone would, he cried, he denied it, but he knew it was real.

Colonello drank.

I-Pin cried.

Everyone else...? They mourned in their own ways, but what's left unsaid is that Lambo and Reborn's deaths hit everyone hard. No one was the same afterwards, their smiles never fully there.

Tsuna took it the hardest, he lost not only a guardian, but his beloved tutor and friends. He was broken, having lost Reborn and Lambo, he thought he was to blame, for sending Reborn on the mission, and for letting Lambo go home alone.

As for Lambo and Reborn? They were scared at first that they would have to pass on, and leave each other. However, after a few weeks, they decided to forget about it, and enjoy this time. They watched over their family, and spent all hours together. However, the bitter truth was, they were dead.

No longer, would there be lightning to brighten the sky during a storm or through the rain, nor a sun to shine through the mist and clouds.

That's my angst one shot! I hope you enjoyed!

CarnivoriousSmoking'Bomb