Another attempt at a CTM story! I'm quite nervous about uploading this one, so let me know what you think. Trigger warnings.
DISCLAIMER: Jennifer Worth, Heidi Thomas, and BBC own all characters, I'm only the borrowing them!
Without further ado..
Part one.
It had happened again. She could never escape. She knew this, because she had foolishly tried to before. But he always found her. No matter how far she ran, he was always one step ahead of her. After she had escaped that one time and decided to join the order, she thought she was finally free. Those first few years were bliss, and she found herself rejoicing in her new freedom. She'd thought she was free for life. Then he turned up. And then everything was like it used to be. And once again she found herself in deep pain.
She stumbled over to the cupboard, and pulled out a new robe. She changed, and straitened her wimple. Tugging her glasses into place, she sat and grabbed her Bible.
Knock knock.
Sister Bernadette hobbled to the door and opened it. "Sister, it is time for Chapel."
Sister Bernadette nodded her head, and followed Sister Julienne out the door. She kept her head down and used her wimple to hide it. "Is everything alright, Sister?"
"I'm fine, Sister." She lied, with a distressingly increased ease. She'd been lying by not saying anything for so long, that this had come to an uncanny freedom.
Sister Julienne reached to straighten her wimple, something she had done several times before, but this time she halted with a gasp. "Sister?! What happened to your neck?" Bruises were dappled over the paleness of Sister Bernadette's neck.
"A shocked patient is all." Sister Bernadette lied.
"I shall have Doctor Turner look at it once clinic starts."
"That shan't be necessary-"
"You will see Doctor Turner." Sister Julienne interrupted her sternly. The look on her face suggested that she was doing this out of kindness, but when Doctor Turner sees there's more to see, what will he say? Sister Bernadette realised she must attempt to hide it. It was no use, the bruises were too obvious.
"...A-of course, Sister." She mumbled, clutching her Crucifix.
"Doctor Turner!"
"Yes, Sister?" The Doctor turned slightly in his seat, looking at Sister Julienne with his full attention.
"Would you mind quickly checking Sister Bernadette over? One of her patients grabbed her in shock and she's got some bruising." Sister Julienne explained her hands clasped together in front of her. She widened her eyes slightly in a form of threat; if you don't help my-closest-to-kin, then I will do something. Her eyes then softened, saying; I know that you will help, I'm just worrying.
"Of course, I will. I'll be over in a minute, just let me sign these papers." The Doctor replied, getting the message clearly, although he would have seen to the Sister anyway. He wondered which patient it had been, and in the back of his mind was furious with them. Sister Bernadette had been playing on his mind lately, and the thought of her being hurt made him angry.
"Indeed, Doctor."
"Hello, Sister. I've been told you need to be examined?" Doctor Turner began, as he shuffled through the screens, into the small cubicle. Sister Bernadette sat on the couch/bed, and nearly jumped out of her skin when the Doctor entered. Sister Julienne stood next to her.
"Y-yes."
She gestured at her neck, and Doctor Turner gave a small gasp. "When did this happen?"
"Last night."
"Why didn't you contact me earlier?" He demanded concern behind his eyes.
"I didn't want to bother you." She whispered.
He moved forward. "I'll need you to remove your wimple." Sister Julienne stepped forward and helped her. Sister Bernadette also removed her collar.
"How about you sit on the examination table?"
"Yes, Sister." Sister Bernadette answered automatically, sliding onto the bed.
"Will you be alright if I go and speak with Nurse Millar?"
"Of course, Sister.
"That's fine, Nurse Miller. I can arrange for her to see a specialist, to help her care for the baby."
"I think Mrs Baxter would really benefit from it. Mr Baxter is hardly home, and she has enough trouble with Ruby already."
"Yes, of course. I will ring them tomorrow and book her an appointment."
"Thank you, Sister."
"I do believe that you should accompany her there. It will be an odd experience for her, and she will want an extra pair of hands."
Knock knock.
"I'll help you in a minute." The Sister called towards the door, before saying to Cynthia, "I'll book her an appointment. You must go now, clinic will start soon!"
"Thank you, Sister."
"That's quite alright, Nurse Miller." Sister Julienne walked with Cynthia to the door, opening it for her. As Cynthia exited, to go to the clinic, Doctor Turner entered. "Yes, Doctor?"
"It's about Sister Bernadette, Sister."
"Come in and take a seat. How's her neck?"
"Well, from what I can see there's severe bruising."
"Is there something else?"
"Yes, that's actually why I wanted to talk to you. She also has..."
"What are these bruises from, Sister?" Doctor Turner asked as he peered at the lesions on her neck. They were deep blue, almost purple, and an odd pink pattern blotches through it. The bruises flowered over her pale neck.
Then he noticed blood on the back of her cap. "Sister, your head, it's bleeding."
"What?"
"Can you remove your cap?" She nodded hesitantly. She reached up and pulled her cap off, to reveal mousy blonde hair. He looked closely at the back of her head, his heart beating for being so close to her. A blotch of read was on the back of her head. "How did this happen? You could have concussion!"
"The patient must have flung me to the floor or..." She trailed off.
He looked back at her neck. The bruising appeared to go further down, but was hidden by her habit. "How did this really happen? Please, Sister Bernadette." He was extremely worried now.
"The patient grabbed me and I pulled away and hit my head." She lied again. He couldn't know. Not Doctor Turner. He meant too much to her.
"Who did this?"
"I'm fine." She argued.
"We need to report this, Sister."
"No, it's fine. I should go to clinic." She pulled her cap back on followed by her wimple and pulled her collar back on quickly.
"Sister, you're not fit to work. You probably had a concussion last night, you need to rest." He insisted grabbing her wrist. She flinched wildly and pulled away with a small cry. "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to..."
She couldn't look at him. "Goodbye, Doctor Turner." She walked out, and Doctor Turner thought he spied a small tear in her eye. He felt awful.
"You mean she was attacked by a patient?" Sister Julienne asked.
"Yes."
"I'll have to talk to her about it..."
"I'm quite worried that she had a concussion. She was gone before I had the chance to ask her."
"I've been so worried about her these last few days. She hasn't been herself!"
"Somehow someone needs to check if there's further bruising or any more wounds so we can dress and disinfect them. She was off before I had the chance to."
Sister Bernadette escaped from Doctor Turner quickly and soon found herself at Nonnatus house.
"Sister Bernadette!" It was Sister Evangelina. Oh no!
"Yes, Sister?" She stopped, but didn't turn knowing what Sister Evangelina's reaction would be.
"Sister Julienne has been looking for you."
"I will go to her office right away." She lied, hands crossed behind her back. She continued down the corridor and past Sister Julienne's office.
Suddenly Sister Bernadette was in her room and ripping her wimple and habit off and pulling the clothes she'd taken from the charity box (in case of an emergency) onto her bruised body. She pulled a scarf around her neck and a small hat over her bloody head. She pulled out a suitcase, and in it put her most important belongings before folding her habit onto the bed. She placed her large wooden crucifix on top of the habit, having replaced it with a simple silver cross. Lastly she grabbed her bible. Then she slipped out of her room and out the back door unseen. In the garden she saw Fred and pulled her glasses off quickly. Everything was very blurry, but she could just about make things out.
"Oh, 'allo there!" He called politely as Sister Bernadette passed, not recognising me with no glasses or wimple.
"Hello." She replied, softly with a smile, before quickly moving along before he had the chance to say anything else. 'Phew.' She thought, 'Now they'll just think me to be dead or on the run. They'll always wonder, but their opinions of me will never be tainted.'
Sister Julienne went straight to clinic, to see if she could find her Sister there. She saw Sister Evangelina in the kitchenette and walked over.
"Sister, have you seen Sister Bernadette?" She asked.
"Yes, back at Nonnatus. I sent her to your office just before I left for here."
"She didn't come to see me at all." A look of fear fell over her face. "I assumed she'd come here, like she'd said she would." She quickly turned and looked around briefly for Doctor Turner.
"Are you looking for someone, Sister?" Trixie asked.
"Have you seen Doctor Turner? I need to tell him about Sister- I need his help."
"I saw him smoking outside before, I think. He was looking quite wretched really. That was a little while ago though." She paused thoughtfully, "Was this about Sister Bernadette?"
"Yes. How did you know?"
"She's been so terribly miserable recently and I thought I heard Sister Evangelina muttering something about her when she arrived to clinic. What is it, Sister?"
"Well, she's missing. I'm about to go back to Nonnatus House to check her room, but after that...oh, I just don't know what I'll do then." Sister Julienne looked down. She was clearly quite distressed.
"Perhaps, Sister, one of us better go with you. We can probably just about manage with one less." Trixie looked around. Jenny was weighing babies, a whole line of mothers and babies waiting still. Cynthia she knew was with Dr Turner in consultation with both Mrs and Mr Baxter. Chummy was doing routine checks with the mothers and she spotted Sister Evangelina boiling urine tests in the kitchenette. "Well Sister, both Sister Evangelina and I are free to go with you. Whichever of us would help the most."
Sister Julienne looked to Trixie, "I'd better not worry her anymore then I need. If you don't mind going with me, you would supply great support."
"Of course I can, Sister. I'll just grab my bag and tell Jenny that she's one down. How about you take a seat near the door and say some prayers?" Sister Julienne smiled gratefully at the girl, doing just as she said to.
Meanwhile Trixie went over to Jenny and told her she was going with Sister Julienne and that she would try to be back before the clinic ended.
"Why does Sister Julienne need your help?" She asked as a mother took her baby back.
"She just needs some support with one of her patients. I'll tell all tonight." Trixie promised before going to grab her bag.
Soon the two of them had cycled their way back to Nonnatus House and were going through the door. They took of their coats and silently took the stairs towards the rooms.
No one recognised her as she walked anxiously through the streets. She was just another person going about her business. Still, she was scared. What if one of them knew? What if they had already discovered that she has left?
She kept walking, clutching her bag tightly in her hand. She had nowhere else to go. She could not escape him and she could not risk him finding Amalie.
Soon she had reached his residency and was knocking on the door.
"'Ho's that then?" The voice called gruffly as it neared the door. The door was flung open, and there he stood. Her monster. "Shelagh?! What're you doing here?"
"They're going to work it out and I..." She trailed off.
"And you remember my threat? Good. Come on in then. Don't think I'll be taking care of you. You're my enemy remember? A slice of bread and a glass of water a day's the diet you'll be on from now on." He snarled letting her into his flat. "You can stay in here."
He opened a dusty room that was really quite small. He closed the door after she stepped in and she heard his footsteps retreat. It's what she deserved really. For what she was. For what she did. For whom she was. She dropped to the ground, quiet tears for the loss of Sister Bernadette. She was Shelagh once more, and she knew that Shelagh would never make it out of this little cupboard.