March 30th
When Tony finally stumbles into the kitchen for a cup of coffee Steve is still sitting at the breakfast table, chin in his hand, eyes not focused on anything. That irks Tony as strange.
"Hey," Tony half-smiles. It's weird because Steve is always the one to greet Tony with a hug and a kiss and a plate of breakfast that Tony didn't even ask for. But he's just sort of sitting there like a sloth until it finally registers that Tony said something.
"Morning," Steve murmurs in return.
"How long have you been up?" Tony asks with a yawn, punching numbers to his own coffee maker. He and Steve have separate ones because Steve can't stand using the maker with all the buttons and options.
Steve tries to think. The last time he looked at the clock it was seven. But now that he's checking it again, it's a quarter till noon. He hasn't really had the motivation to get up from this spot. He's stuck here in a daydream, content to simply sit and think.
"A while," he answers distractedly.
"Been on your run yet?"
Steve says slowly, "No…"
Tony nods to himself and the only noise between them is the dripping of the brewing coffee into the pot.
Steve is actually relieved when Tony heads for the lab with his coffee so that he can think without interruptions. Steve swears that he's pregnant. Then again, he's thought that before and he was wrong. So it's safe to say that he's wrong again this time.
When Steve eventually decides to get up from the table his limbs are stiff and he actually stumbles, the corner of the table stabbing his thigh. It's all he can do to think, clumsiness. If he were to write a book on pregnancy he could. He knows all the symptoms because there have been exactly 3 instances when Steve swore he was pregnant. None of the times ever proved to produce a child because it was all in his head.
Tony pretends to understand. In his defense he does actually understand how badly Steve wants to be a father. It took Steve a while to convince Tony that he was capable of being a father and that despite all the shit Howard put him through, Tony could break the cycle. So as much as Steve wants a child, Tony is somewhat relieved when uneventful months go by and there's still not plus sign.
This cloud lingers over Steve all day. Even when he goes on his run he thinks about it. He doesn't run as hard or for as long as usual, just in case. Steve really hopes that's the case.
Steve goes to bed without coming down to tell Tony goodnight and that, too, irks Tony as strange. Steve didn't even try to bring Tony lunch or dinner. So Tony decides to stop for just a second to have Jarvis pull up the feed from the bedroom. When he does, Steve is nowhere to be seen, so Tony ventures up to the bedroom to see light streaming out from under the bathroom door. He taps twice before pushing it open to reveal Steve sitting on the edge of the tub.
"Hey," Tony rasps out, leaning against the door frame, "Everything okay?"
Steve's worried blue eyes rise to meet his husband's and immediately Steve tries to kick a small blue box out of Tony's sight.
"I, uh- yeah. Fine."
Tony says flatly, "Steve. You've been distant all day. What's up?"
Tony wants to go back to what he was doing, he really does. But Steve is being needy and Tony understands that sometimes Steve can be annoying and needy and apparently this is one of those times. So Tony crosses the bathroom, taking a seat on the edge of the tub beside his husband.
Steve shrugs sheepishly, gesturing to the test box, "I thought I was- I thought I might be."
"No?" Tony guesses and Steve shakes his head silently.
Tony reaches out to squeeze Steve's knee in a comforting manner, staring down at the tile floor. They've gone through this so many times that Tony is hoping Steve will reconsider adoption soon. They're in their second year trying to conceive. They've been to doctors and specialists to look for some answers that no one can seem to provide. Steve is a determined son of a bitch and adoption isn't likely because no, Steve wants to be pregnant. And he's going to be, it'll just take more time.
"We'll get there, Cap."
Steve smiles faintly, "Yeah, I know."
Steve tries to brush this off the best he can but Tony still senses the fact that his husband is hurting. Steve reaches for the empty test box and tosses it into the trash can before walking out. He flops into bed, completely taken by surprise when Tony falls down next to him.