"Hey, Haruhi! How is my daughter?!" Tamaki asks.

"I'm okay Tamaki."

I'm really not.

"Hey, Haruhi how's our favorite toy? We want you to model some of our models newest designs!" The twins say.

"I'm fine. And I don't want to model for you and stop hugging me!"

Why should I model if I know I'm ugly, and don't hug me...I'm not a person worth caring for.

"Haru-chan! Do you want to eat some cake with me and Takashi?" Honey beams.

"Sure! I'd love to!"

No, I don't.

"You really like the cake! Right Haru-chan?" He asks.

"Yeah, it's really good!"

I don't have the heart to tell you that nothing tastes good anymore and that after years I've learned how to fake enjoyment.

I beam to complete the look.

"Hm," Mori smiled a bit.

I don't think even Mori can see through my fake smile. I don't blame him...it seems so real that it even scares me.

"Haruhi your debt increased by 2% in this past week,"Kyoya tells me.

"What?! Those were all Tamaki's mistakes!"

No, keep going, I'm a person who deserves to be punished.

"Whatever, I'm going to cut some more cake for Honey."

Everyone nods.

"Haruhi be careful and don't hurt yourself accident with the knife while cutting the cake! We don't want you to get hurt! Especially me because daddy cares about you! More than those devil twins!"

I pretend not to hear and when I know the coast is clear I frown. I want to tell them but I can't. I close the door behind me and slide down. Lately, I've had scary thoughts. What if I just took the knife and ended it all here? Isn't it so funny that it's so hard to create a life, yet so easy to end one? Everyone can't see through my mask, and that's for the best. It's better that no one knows the truth...I take out my pink notebook, that I use to "Take notes" in class. And I flip open to my newest entry.

I want to die

It's scary you know

Because the only reason I'm not going to go

Is because of the people that love me and hold me close.

So if it wasn't for them

I'd be long gone

And right before I'd die I would sing this song...

"Life is bad"

"Life is good"

"I'm so misunderstood"

"I don't want to feel"

"I don't want to cry"

"I wish someone would just sing me a sweet lullaby"

"But now I stand"

"Knife in hand"

"I'll finally be rid of the feelings at stand"

"I won't have to worry"

"I won't have to grieve"

"I won't have to wish each day to leave"

"I won't wake up"

"I won't be sad"

"I'll be free of my troubles and"

"I'm sorry to all those who liked me"

"Though I don't know why you did"

"It's not your fault that you couldn't see through my smile"

"Because apparently nobody did..."

"I want to say I'll see you later"

"But I know I won't"

"So now all that's left"

"Is my hope"

"I could turn back right now"

"Start anew"

"But that is something I cannot do"

I leave it open to that entry.

And take the knife.

I hear the skin tear.

I can faintly hear people screaming.

Someone telling me to come back.

It's too late though.

And it all fades to black.

So um yeah that was depressing but I think the message I was trying to show was that sometimes the happiest people can be the ones silently hurting. Notice the little things, because to some they mean something big. Anyways I'm glad you read my story and have a good day/night.