I Will Always Come Back

One breath, deep, painful, brings me back to conciousness, back to life. I almost wish it hadn't. Almost. I made a promise and I will suffer through any amount of pain to keep it. I will always come back.

I can't move, can't even open my eyes, there's not an inch of my body that doesn't hurt. I lay here helpless, probably dying and all I can think about is her. I remember every moment I spent with her, every precious second. The first time I saw her, spread eagle caught up in that force field, that beautiful, helpless Asari just hanging there, I almost laughed out loud. Don't know why it seemed so funny to me, but I knew as soon as I saw her that I wanted her on my team, wanted to get to know her. Her innocent, sweet nature drew me in, made me want her, need her, in a way I've never needed anything in my life. Liara, I will always come back to you.

I remember the first time we joined together, our bodies and minds becoming one. Our nervous systems intertwined so that I felt what she felt. It was more then physical pleasure, so much more. It was extacy, it was perfection. My body was on fire, and I could feel the fire within her, she wanted me as much as I wanted her. I knew in that moment of bliss, no matter what happened, no matter where my destiny took me, I would always come back to her.

When the Collectors destroyed the Normandy, when I died, she found me, she risked her life to get my body back from the Shadow Broker. She risked her life for a tiny sliver of hope the Illusive Man gave her, then she spent two years mourning me as Cerberus put me back together. After I found her again on Ilium it hurt to feel the distance she put between us. One moment she's kissing me, the next she seems cold and uncaring. I understand now, but it hurt so much at the time. When I died a part of her died with me. It changed her, took away that innocence I loved so much. She put up walls to protect what was left of her heart as she hung on to a small chance that Miranda Lawson might perform a miracle, might be able to bring me back. It scared her, how broken she was without me. I took two years to heal and she needed time to heal as well. Helping her kill the Shadow Broker began that process. When she came to the Normandy for drinks I felt the walls she had built up begin to crumble as I held her in my arms and promised I would always come back.

Tears are falling now as I remember our last few minutes together. My heart breaks as she reaches for me. "You're not leaving me behind" she cries.

I can still feel her cheek warm against my hand as I caress it. "No matter what happens, Liara, you mean everything to me, you always will."

The remaining pieces of my heart shatter as she utters her last words to me, "Shepard, I...I am yours."

I hold on tightly to these memories as I wait for death. I'm so sorry, Liara. I'm sorry I let you down, I'm sorry we won't get a chance to make all those little blue children we talked about. It doesn't look like I will be able to come back to you this time.

I don't know how much time passes as I fall in and out of consciousness. I wonder what Liara is doing right now. I hope she can find a way to move on. It's funny, I'm missing her so much I can actually hear her voice calling to me, "Shepard! She's here, I found her."

It takes me a second to realize I'm not just hearing things, she's really here. Her voice is fearful, "Shepard, just hang on, I'll get to you." I can hear her scrambling through the rubble, then she's beside me. I still can't move, can't open my eyes, but I can feel her hands on me, gentle searching for signs of life. I take one more deep breath so she can see the rise of my chest, know I'm still with her. That painful breath is all I can do to comfort her right now. "Oh thank the Goddess, she's alive. I'm here, Shepard, I'm here, I found you."

Then another familiar voice, "Let me take her, Liara." Garrus. I feel myself lifted up cradled in his arms. He's as gentle as he can be but the pain is to much and I feel myself losing consciousness again.

When I wake, it's chaos. People are moving all around me, Dr. Chakwas is shouting orders, "Get her armor off, now."

As my helmet is pulled off, I listen for the one voice, the only voice I want to hear and somehow I manage to find my own, manage to croak out a single word, "Liara."

Then she is beside me. "I'm here, Shepard, I'm here, love." I breath in her scent, clean and sweet like a spring meadow, feel her lips brush against my forehead, my cheek. I hear her voice, gentle, lyrical, "I love you, Shepard, don't you even think about leaving me."

I need to see her. It takes all my strength to make my eyes cooperate but somehow I force them to open. Her face is inches from mine, tears falling, mingling with my own. My girl, MY girl. Her eyes are locked on mine, all her love clearly written in them. Her touch lends me strength and I reach for her, pull her lips to mine. "I love you, Liara. I was born to love you."

She climbs onto the bed beside me. Not even an 'if looks could kill' glare from Dr. Chakwas can keep her away from me now. She wraps her arms around me, holding me as close as she can. My body is battered, broken but I don't feel the pain anymore, all I feel is her love, and that's the best medicine in the universe. I can't wait til I'm strong enough to start making all those little blue children. We will have quite a story to tell them.

"Goddess, Shepard, I almost lost you again."

"But you didn't, you found me."

"I will always find you, Shepard."

"And I will always come back to you, Liara."