A/N: HEY PEOPLE I LIKE CAPITALIZED LETERS SO YOU KNOW WHAT? I WILL CAPATAILIZE STUFF. SO I JUST WANTED TO WRITE I DUNNO WHAT BUT I WANTED TO WRITE IT WHATEVER IT MAY BE SO YEAH THANK YOU AND ENJOY.
*(ALSO BEFORE I FORGET ITALIC MEANS A THOUGHT OR AN IMPORTANT WORD!)
DISCLAIMOR: DO NOT OWN NARUTO BUT WOULD LUV TO.
I WONDER WHO THIS IS,
OH WAIT ITS ME
(Sakura's pov)
"You look back at me, you see right through me, its like you are me. But then again you are."
Impulsivetyper
Finally I stop looking in the mirror long enough to get my things together for today before I am late. Remembering to lock the front door before I leave then having to run down three flights of stairs only to realize I left my slippers on. On the way I drop a dollar and a pocket full of change. I wonder who this person is who is making all of these stupid mistakes then I realize the person is me.
I get my act together long enough to make it to school. I was early by five minutes and the teacher was late by twenty. Sitting outside of the biology room I realize just how cold cement can be on your butt. It's the middle of winter and my fingers are numb and my lips are chapped. I can feel the dry skin like sandpaper on my tongue. Soon enough in a large mass everyone else shows up at eight, right when class should begin, but not today. I put in my headphones and relax. Tap tap tap taping my foot to the beat, that's all I do. Watching my bag get stepped on by others and wondering why isn't this person doing anything to save their bag, then I realize this person is me.
Class is over; I lost a blue ballpoint pen, stepped in gum and forgot my P.E. clothes. I had a sack lunch today but stupid me lost it along with their ballpoint pen. I get to English and once again, five minutes early but the teacher is twenty minutes late. So I pull out my laptop and totally forget to do my English reading from the night before. I get inside when class starts and she asks who had done the reading because we are going to have a quiz and I think to myself just who is this person failing today? Then I realize, the person is me.
I start to walk to algebra class but my phone goes off. I think 'hey some good news' but no it wasn't. My mom is on the other line and she has one thing to say, "What have you been doing?" I have no idea what she means because I have been at school all day. "I don't really follow," I say but no that's not what she heard. "Don't talk to me in that tone. You think its okay because I am not in person, you think its cool to yell at your mother over the phone and in front of your friends but its not. You're being stupid so stop now. Get your act together and actually do what I tell you. This is why everyone thinks you're a liar, this is why everyone thinks you hate them, and this is why everyone hates you." She hangs up the phone and I just keep walking. I figure one day I will walk far enough away that I will eventually stop caring and the words won't hurt me anymore. They haven't stopped hurting yet but I just haven't walked far enough. I wonder whom this person is pitying themselves then I realize its me.
I find that we have a free period because my teacher ditched us for a baseball game so I walk downstairs to the only bench outside. I sit down and see Sasuke, possibly my only friend who feels my pain. He walks over and sits down, and then we start to talk.
"What are you thinking about?" he asks.
Sasuke will usually ask me stupid questions like this all the time but thats just how we pass time.
"Family, and how much it is all a shame, how everything that you picture a family should be is never what they really are. How they have faults like everyone else… and how they find ways… t-to deal with that." I was beginning to both choke and tear up over this. I guess its just because of how comefortable I feel around him.
"Its over rated, they yell at you, and don't care." He looks at me and his face looks upset.
"You don't even know how lonely it is without any parents, without the one you lo-…." Sasuke took a very long pause and I just had no idea what to think.
"You're ignorant fool, you make me sick." The words just came out, I don't think that's what he meant. But that deosn't mean it didn't hurt.
Why did I tell her that? I should have listened… she knows how I feel, that wasn't to hurt me. But-but it still hurts. I need a moment to think of an apology, or maybe I should just go. I really hurt her, I should just go. Sakura… forgive me. Sakura… I feel your pain be cause I love you.
I couldn't believe what I heard, but then again it figures. Because after all, I'm a lair, I hate people, and that's why everyone- even my crush hates me. I leave. I go as fast away from the situation as I can. Sasuke is calling for me to come back and I want to but it hurts too much so I just keep walking. I try to act like it doesn't hurt but it still does. Just how far do I need to walk before this pain stops. I wonder who is walking to the roof then I realize its me.
I go as high as you can go on campus, the newly built 4th floor. I stand on the roof and look down at the ground thinking that if I just took a few mere step, then I would have walked far enough, far enough for all the pain to stop, and far enough for all the words to not hurt. I wonder who is planning the suicide but I know it's me. I take a few steps forward then close my eyes. I wonder who isn't hesitating to die but I know it's me. I keep walking with my eyes closed so I can't stop it even if I wanted to. Then I feel the loss of flooring under my feet and I know what I have done. I wonder who is smiling, as they are about to die, but I hope, no I know it must be me. I wonder whose body is on the ground, but my lack of pain tells me that it's me. I walked far enough, finally.
(sasuke pov)
I told her off. She needed help. I was an idiot she was too hurt. It was too much pressure and it was good its over for her now… if only I had known I would have gone with her. I am okay with her suicide, I am not okay that she did it alone. I wonder who is running off the roof, off towards you-sakura. Who is running to catch up to a person who has just walked away then I realize, the person is me.
Will you wait for me? Or will you just keep walking? Either way… I will always run after you.
I have thought about doing this story a few times and I am glad I wrote it out today. I hope you guys like it, its just a random look into sakuras' suicidal side, and sasuke's ignorance to her pain, and his love. Sad but, glad, a fantasy but, true. If only to those who choose to walk away.
