Alright, folks. I worked on a story involving Star Wolf, but it was so horribly inaccurate and, well, bad in general, so I'm going to try again. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, own Star Fox, Star Wolf, any of their members, any of the franchise's characters, they're pets or their food. I also do not own any of the planets in Star Fox, mentioned here or not, because that would cost way too much. Just saying, General Pepper is still single, and he's not mine either. All Star Fox-related characters or content are property of Nintendo. All other content, including the dialogue and story, if not already owned by Nintendo, is property of me. If you want to use said content in your own works, please contact me first. All writers notes are property of me, and use of said notes is prohibited. All jokes made, original or not, are public domain and there is nothing stopping you from using them in your own work, so go right ahead. I apologize for inconvenience reading all that legal junk may have caused you, but I am not responsible for any injuries caused by your head exploding at any point in reading this long piece of junk.

Now that we're done with that... Our story takes place during the Saurian Crisis. In other words, the events of Star Fox Adventures. Since Star Wolf didn't appear in that game, they must have been somewhere else, but where...?

Getting up was by far, the last thing Wolf O'Donnell wanted to do. It was raining outside, thus the room was dark and gloomy, which Wolf didn't mind all that much.

Star Fox was off in some lost corner of the Lylat System, probably saving some random planet, and Wolf really didn't care, because travelling all that way wouldn't be worth it. Finally, he decided to get up when he heard Pigma and Leon downstairs, making noise. As always.

He sat up, rubbed sleep from his eyes and pulled the covers off. He then got out of bed, slipped on a housecoat and went downstairs where he saw Leon and Pigma speaking at the table. (You can just guess which one of the two was making the most noise. No? Well, hint hint, it was Pigma) Wolf ignored their half-loud conversation and began pouring a cup of coffee. It seemed fresh, and decided that the old pot must have gone bad, so Leon made another one.

He sat down with his newly acquired cup of coffee and grabbed the daily paper. There's definitely a higher reward for them. It goes up every week. This time, however, Wolf couldn't find them in the paper at all. Instead, it was talking about some Sauria place that was blowing itself up. "Must be where Fox is off to." He thought to himself and put the paper down, sipping his coffee. He could tell that it was going to be one of those days. The kind where nothing ever happens. To be honest, he didn't care at all.

Leon and Pigma continued the're conversation, and after running out of irrelevant things to think about, Wolf decided to listen in, but pretend like he couldn't care less. After a few moments, he wished that he hadn't started listening. They were talking about those soap shows on TV. This actually intrigued Wolf, because Leon despised those kind of shows. What does this say about Pigma?

Wolf didn't want to think about it, so he got up and walked away, slightly nauseous just thinking about soaps. He reached the rec room and sat down where he turned the TV on, and of course, the only thing on (since Venom only has one TV channel) was a soap. Now, Wolf felt really sick. He turned the TV off and ran towards the nearest bathroom.

An hour later, Wolf walked back into the rec room to see if there was possibly something good on TV for once. What was on was better than a soap. Might have been the only good thing that ever airs anymore, the news. Wolf sat down.

"uh!" Wolf thought, as the only thing they were talking about was Sauria. There's gotta be something else to talk about! Nintendo didn't even make Adventures, why is the news talking about Sauria so much? Wolf turned the TV off and walked out to find his teammates.

He was going to do something to make the day interesting. He wasn't sure what exactly it was he was going to do, but he decided it had something to do with terrifying innocent bystanders at some supermarket. Robbery was too risky, and the gain wouldn't be all that great, because they don't sell anything interesting on Venom.

Then Wolf noticed, what if they just showed up at the store? That would freak enough people out, wouldn't it? Whenever Star Wolf needed something, they sent Leon, since he knew Venomian best, and he wore a cloak, so nobody would recognize him.

After further thought, Wolf decided to go to a café instead, because it would be useless to go to a store without buying something, and he was getting hungry anyways.

Wolf finally found Leon and Pigma, who were arguing in the hallway. They were now speaking in Venomian, making it easier for Wolf to ignore them. "We're going out to lunch." he said when they came into earshot.

Leon stopped, and so did Pigma. "Going out to lunch, Wolf?" Leon questioned. "All of us?"

Wolf nodded. "No cloaks. Just to scare people."

"Weapons?" Pigma asked.

"Those, we're bringing. Just in case. Best not be too cocky." Wolf said. Pigma turned around and followed Wolf to the hangar, while Leon returned to his quarters to get his wallet. Once Leon returned, he jumped into his Wolfen and they flew off towards the café.

Moments later, they landed in the lot of the café, taking up about 3 parking spots each. "Something tells me we'll get a parking ticket for that." Leon remarked as they started walking towards the café. Pigma made that pathetic snorting noise. Wolf didn't respond, because he would be the one to pay those inevitable tickets.

As they walked in, everybody stopped eating and just stared at them. "Hah! Just what I was hoping for!" Wolf thought, feeling rather proud of himself. They went to the counter. Wolf stared at the menu for a moment, before turning to Leon and asking what it meant. Leon translated and ordered a burger, which Wolf also got. Pigma got a pork tenderloin sandwich, with a side of weird looks from his teammates. He didn't need weird looks from the rest of the people in the café, because he already had that.

The meal costed only a few dollars. It would have been free, had Leon not reminded the guy at the counter to charge them for the food. It was only a few minutes before somebody walked up to them and asked if they were actually Star Wolf. Leon laughed, but Wolf and Pigma had no idea what he had said. Leon then proceeded to say something, which must have been 'yes.'

The remainder of lunch was rather uneventful. When they had finished, that's when something interesting actually happened. As they were leaving, they were greeted by the Cornerian army. Somebody must have called the cops, and Venom decided to let Corneria deal with it. Wolf decided to fake a surrender and put his hands up, as commanded. Leon and Pigma caught on and put their hands up also. The Cornerian army was slow to react, which gave Wolf time to look around and notice the news reporters on scene. "Well, there's going to be something interesting on tonight!" Wolf thought to himself. He then noticed just how close the Cornerian army had gotten to them, and drew his blaster, shooting at the army. They returned fire, but apparently have really bad aim and never hit either of the 3. After wiping out all but 3 soldiers, who fled, they ran to their Wolfens are flew off.

When they returned home, they simply laughed it off, Pigma making that snorting noise as he does. Wolf walked back to the rec room, turned the TV on, and was greeted by a soap. He turned the TV off, about to lose his lunch and went back to his quarters to take a nice, long nap.