I wrote this about a year ago for a FT IslandxSHINee crossover

and decided I wanted to transfer it over into a BTR fanfic.

Obviously the names and some other info has been changed.

Hope ya like it. Enjoy~

[1 year ago]

"James..." Carlos didn't want to say it. He didn't know how to say it, even. He was hoping James would just know. Know that it was over. Their long thirteen month relationship was coming to an end due to the fact Carlos thought he had found someone better.

"What is it Carlos?" James chuckled nervously. He could sense the grim tone in Carlos' voice. It was as if Carlos was about to tell him the world was going to end soon, very soon.

"I...I think we should start seeing other people." And there is was. The world had ended; sooner than James had thought, of course. He expected it to be, oh, maybe four, five maybe minutes. But no, it was less than a second. Carlos had ended James' world in less than a second, saying no more than ten words.

James forced a smile and pretended it was all a joke. "What do you mean?" He forced himself to believe Carlos was playing some sick joke on him. That it was April Fool's day and Carlos was playing some stupid joke on him like he loved to do. Carlos, always the prankster.

But no, it wasn't April Fool's Day. It was July 23, 2009, the day marking the young couple's thirteen month anniversary. Wonderful time to drop the 'break up' bomb.

"James let's not drag this out. It's best for both of us if we just move on. Get new boyfriends and forget about each other." Carlos tried to be as sincere as he possibly could. He didn't want to hurt James anymore, but it was something that needed to be said. If he went on with the relationship, secretly seeing his new lover Kendall on the side, it would hurt James more.

"I-I can't believe this...you can't be-" James still didn't want to believe the truth. He was in love with Carlos. He truly thought Carlos felt the same way. How could Carlos just be breaking up with him when he loved him dearly?

"Goodbye James Diamond." Carlos stood and gave James one more sincere kiss on the cheek. With that he left. Left the park bench the two were sitting at. Left the park. Left James' life.

[present day]

James was awoken by the sweet and bright sunshine seeping through his curtains. He sat up in his bed and stretched his arms out wide. He looked at his digital clock on his bedside table. 7:50 read in red numbers. It flickered a little and shown: 07/23/10.

James stared at the numbers. His mind wandered back to that day. Exactly one year, give or take a few hours. That day his heart was broken. James didn't think his wounded heart could ever be mended. Carlos was his love. His passion. His everything. He couldn't belie-the numbers flickered again bringing James back to present day.

He looked over at the lump beside him. The covers were pulled up high over the slumbering body. They went up and down slowly in a rhythmic pattern. A soft snoring noise immersed from under the sheets. James slightly laughed and felt a little better. He had Logan now. He would be alright.

"I'll try and get out of work early today. If not, don't wait up okay," James said, filling his face with a bagel.

James, who had been staring off in space, looked at his lover. "Hmm?"

Logan shook his head and laughed. "Never mind. Are you okay? You seem...out of it."

James nodded and smiled. He couldn't tell Logan about Carlos. Not yet. It was too soon. "Yeah I'm fine. Just a little tired."

"Oh, get some rest today," Logan prescribed while he walked around the table. He pecked James on the lips. "I'll see ya later. Love you!" He said and walked towards the front door.

"Love you too," James called out in a distant voice. He sighed and propped his chin up with his hand. His mind was focused on Carlos. Nothing would be able to get his mind off the subject. Not today, at least.

"13.95. Would you like a receipt?" The cashier asked, tapping on a few keys on the register.

James shook his head. "No, no thank you." He took out his wallet and handed the cashier a ten and a five. "Keep the change."

The woman gladly took the fifteen dollars from James, she handed him the bouquet of roses he purchased. Carlos' favorite, roses. James once bought Carlos a bouquet of roses, and slipped on fake on in the bunch. Being the cheesy romantic he was, he said he would love Carlos until each rose had died. One of those roses still must have been out there, somewhere.

The cashier mentioned something about young couples and roses, but James was too focused on his past romance to bother listening to the woman's words. He held on tightly to the roses and walked out of the shop.

He walked past the bread shop and the old outlet mall. He crossed the street with the odd fountain in the median. He hurried past the cemetery. He looked up and saw his destination in sight. The park he met Carlos at. The park the two spent every 23rd together since meeting. The park where his heart was torn in two and ripped up one year ago.

He spotted the same bench the two met by nothing more than a mistake. James had been out running that day. He had jogged around the park's perimeter ten times and needed a break. He sat down at that bench and panted for breath.

That day Carlos was going to be meeting someone he met on one of those online dating sites he had heard so much about. He was told to meet someone with the initials of JD at the park; he would be sitting on a bench, wearing a gray shirt and black pants. Coincidentally, James Diamond was wearing a gray shirt and black sweats that same day.

Carlos sat down next to James and asked, 'Are your initials JD?'

'Yes?' James looked up and saw a young, but beautiful looking boy sitting beside him.

'Hi I'm Carlos.' Carlos stuck his hand out for James to shake.

That's how it started, really. Their little romance. It was fate, some could say. Or just a simple mistake that turned out to be something wonderful. James saw it as nothing more than a mistake.

He saw the bench and walked over to it and sat down. An instant feeling of nostalgia took over him; Sitting in this bench again. It had been a whole year. It was so long, yet seemed like yesterday.

Carlos didn't want to tell James that day. He didn't know how he could, really. He truly loved Carlos with all his hard. But he thought he found someone else he could really call his soul mate, but what he didn't know was he already had. And his name was James Diamond.

Carlos regretted his words since the minute he walked out of James' life. He knew, though, he could never be part of James' life again. Not after what he did and said.

"James..." Carlos gasped as walked down the long sidewalk in the park. He felt like time was ticking slower when he saw him. No, if felt like everything had stopped. Except for him. He continued to walk down the sidewalk to the bench.

At first Carlos thought his lonely mind was playing a trick on him. But as he got closer he knew he wasn't hallucinating. It was really James. On the bench. Sitting there. It really was.

"James," Key muttered quietly to himself. "James!" He finally yelled.

James popped his head up and looked for the voice. It called again. It sounded almost like his. Even after a year without hearing it, James could remember exactly what it sounded like.

"James!" There it was again. James looked around and spotted the voice's owner.

There he was. After a whole year. There he was again. He looked so different, but the same. James squinted his eyes to get a better look. It really was him.

James got off the park bench and ran towards Carlos. Carlos prepared himself for the hug James was going to give him. He didn't, however, prepare for the kiss.

James glued his lips to Carlos'. For a moment he had forgotten Carlos had broken his heart when they broke up. Forgotten that a year had past. Forgotten everything.

Carlos pushed James off of him and stared him deep in his eyes. "Ja--mes. It really is you. I'm so glad I found you. I have to tell you something."

"I still love you." James came out with it. He knew he shouldn't keep it bottled up. He couldn't. And Carlos needed to know.

"Wh-" Carlos started to say, but stopped. He dropped his eyes and looked down at the ground. His mind raced with possible rebuttals to James' abrupt confession. "I...I love you too."

James pulled Carlos into another kiss. Carlos passionately kissed back. James' soft lips pressed hard against Carlos'. He had missed those that set of lips. It had been a year since he felt them.

Overrun by lust and feelings that were exploding inside them, the two hurried back to James' apartment. Carlos kicked off his shoes and pulled his shirt off. James did the same as he led Carlos into his bedroom. James carelessly tossed the flowers he had purchased for Logan on the ground.

The big king sized bed was still un-made from James and Logan's previous night. Logan had been the last thing on James' mind, though.

Carlos landed on his back on the soft bed. James fell on top and started to kiss the older boy's chest. James' hot, steamy breath sent chills running down Carlos' spine. James planted wet kisses all over Carlos' bare chest.

James could feel himself getting aroused. As did Carlos. James quickly undid Carlos' pants and pulled them down. He removed Carlos' underwear and took his member in hand.

James brought his lips to Carlos' member and kissed it softly. Carlos shuddered and let out a soft moan of pleasure. James then took the entire length of his ex-boyfriend's member in his mouth. James' hot, wet mouth sucked hard on Carlos' growing member.

Carlos arched his back and moved his hips in tune with James' bopping head. James licked and sucked every inch of Carlos' growing self until he knew Carlos was at his hardest.

James' own member had been growing to be fully erect, as well. James quickly pulled the rest of his clothes off and started to pleasure himself.

Carlos turned over on this stomach, showing his bare side to James. James' eyes glazed over with desire as he stared upon Carlos' caramel colored body once again. James crawled up over Carlos and laid on top of his bare back.

"I want you in me." Carlos gasped, feeling James' stark erecting on his lower back.

James nodded and slowly positioned himself above Carlos' entrance and slowly inserted himself into the older male. Carlos let out a soft whimper. James went further, causing Carlos to cry out in pain.

"Oh god!" James yelled in pleasure as he furthered himself into Carlos. James let loud moans escape his lips as he thrust in and out. Carlos' tight skin squeezed snuggly around James' huge cock.

Carlos gasped in pain and pleasure as James jerked himself in and out of the Latino's tight hole. "It's been to long..." Carlos grunted in between moans.

James could feel his orgasm coming. He went quicker and harder, hitting Carlos' spot each time. Carlos let out loud 'oh's mixed with James' name. James grabbed onto the Egyptian cotton bed sheets. He was going to cum any second now. "Oh!" He yelled as he spilled his warm juices into Key. Carlos gasped at the feeling of his once lover cum inside. His own member spurted out the juices on the sheets.

James pulled out of Carlos and rolled over next to him. Both boys didn't say anything for a long while. Their chests heaving up and down in unison. Their hearts beating in tune with one another. This was how it was supposed to be. Carlos was never supposed to break up with James. James was never supposed to find Logan. They were supposed to be together forever. Like this.

"James..." Carlos finally spoke up.

James looked over at Carlos. "Yes?"

"I'm so sorry." Key felt tears coming to his eyes. "I'm so sorry." Tears ran down his eyes. "I'm sorry. I loved you. I still do. James, I love you!" He panted for breath as he confessed his feelings once more. "I never meant for things to get the way they did. I never meant to break up with you like that. I...I just, I wasn't thinking that day I'm sorry I-"

James stopped Carlos' words with a kiss. Carlos moaned softly and pulled away. James smiled warmly and said, "I know. I forgive you. I love you."

Suddenly, Logan's face appeared in James' mind. James' expression turned gray. He had just had sex with another man, behind Logan's back. He had sex with his ex-lover. The man he once, no, still loved. James gulped and looked away from Carlos. He knew he wanted Carlos back in his life. But he couldn't break up with Logan. He couldn't bear knowing he would be putting Logan through the same pain Carlos once had. He just couldn't.

"James?" Carlos rolled over on his side and stared at James. "What's wrong," Carlos asked, noting James' apparent grim presence.