A Love Note
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephanie Meyer came up with characters and my friend came up with the plot. I'm just an author trying to make my way...
I kissed each finger on her hand and took her hand in mine, my fingertips brushing against the wedding band resting on her ring finger. She didn't look up, but I could feel her pain, it burnt in my heart as well as it did in hers. I felt like my chest was being ripped out and though it went against my entire being to leave her, I knew I had to. I went and sat next to her. Pulling her small form into my lap and leaning against the wodden backboard, feeling the wooden engravings pushing into my back. She lay back in my embrace, more of a natural reaction than anything else.
"How can I live with you gone?"
Her voice was devoid of emotion, but I could feel the tears creeping into her voice.
"I'm here," I said.
She sighed leaning even further back, getting as close to me as possible. I would miss this. She sensed it too, because for the moment she was silent and she just let me kiss her. She broke it off, her sobs coming out and I found a track of tears trailing down my cheeks. There was nothing I could say to comfort her. I couldn't say that I'd be back, I didn't know if I would. I couldn't say I'd stay alive; I could be dead within the week. I couldn't even say, I'd love her forever, for forever suddenly seemed a lot closer than before.
"I'll miss you," I said softly.
"Me, too," she sobbed and I longed to wipe the tears from her eyes, to kiss her and tell her it would be okay.
"They need me," I said instead.
She frowned, the sobbing had stopped but the tears remained.
"I need you," she said desperately, clinging on to my shirt.
"I need you, more than I need air," she said her voice was louder, and it was angry. She banged small fists against my chest. I let her. The sobbing broke out again and I grabbed her and pulled her into my lap and placed my head upon hers, breathing in her familiar scent.
"I'll write," I said, "I had hoped that you would too."
She laughed, and just this once it wasn't the tinkling of bells, it was a different kind of laugh. One made of bitterness.
"Anything for you, Jasper," she said.
"Thank you," I said hugging her as tight as I could without breaking her apart.
I saw Hayden appear at the door, his own cheeks stained with tears. His parting with his wife had been just as tough, I could tell from the haunted expression in his normally bright eyes. I was scared to see what would happen after a year had gone by. A year, so short, but it would seem indefinitely longer without Alice.
"Alice," I whispered into her hair, half hoping she wouldn't hear me, "I have to go."
She clung to me even tighter and I pried her off my body. It seemed to hurt to do so, and the pain clung, sinking deep into my chest. She pressed a hard kiss against my lips, and when I broke off the look in her eyes was desperate. It looked like she would never see me again. I hoped it would not be so.
I kissed her palm and whispered in her ear, "I love you."
"I love you, too," she said taking a deep breath.
I took a step away and it seemed for a moment that she wouldn't let me go. She let go with a sigh and I turned away, I would not see her face as I left. It would tear me apart, before I'd been gone even a minute. Hayden patted me on the back and I smiled at him in an attempt to reassure him. He had said goodbye to his wife just moments before, he wasn't fooled for a minute.
A battered van waited for us, filled with young men, who wore eager smiles of anticipation that I didn't share, not for a minute. I spared one glance at the window where I knew Alice watched and then climbed into the van. As I stuck my hand into the pocket of my coat I felt a small folded piece of paper. I took it out and held it to my nose. It smelled like her and I smiled and unfolded the paper.