My first fanfic so be nice.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto; if I did I'd be like the freaking ruler
Second Time
First time you marry for love the second time for comfort.
Hinata laid out her giant wedding gown across her bed, their bed. Saying it was beautiful would be an insult, it was breath taking. It was so delicate looking with intricate lace framing its hems of the skirts and bodice, with a simple lavender sash tie around its waist. It was completely made for her.
She ran her pale fingers gently along its form, mesmerized and in distant thought. The dress she's been hiding in the back of her closet for the past two years. The horrid reminder of the life she wished she had. The life she would've had.
She felt tears well up in her eyes, letting them run down her pale face. He was gone forever, never to come back. She's been waiting the past two years in self delusion that he'd return to her. Obsidian eyes glimmering with pride and affection like when she agreed to his proposal, his special smile she was only privileged to see, and those strong tan arms enclosed around her dainty form. But that couldn't happen and never will.
She was here isolated on earth without him, alone and lost in an abyss pulling at her limbs to never let her escape. Life moved on, but she can't she's struck in the memory of their happily ever after. Secluded to herself, she felt as though she were in a portrait. Life went on around her but she stayed in that same fixed position, watching hopelessly for a way to escape that metal frame that chained her.
That is why she agreed to marry Uzamaki Naruto; it seemed like a temporary solution for a permanent problem. She decided maybe letting another in might just give her that second to escape from her past. Of course she new no one could ever dream of replacing her love for Sasuke Uchiha, but she was desperate for anything to heal her wounds of loss and pain. If she couldn't find an outlet she would certainly lose her sanity and give into her only option: suicide.
She brushed of the thought feeling ice cold hands clasp around her neck as she thought of such dark notions, before losing Sasuke she had never thought in such a way. She was aware he had his entire childhood, but when they were together she was able to kiss away his hurt and pain. Having such ability made her feel powerful like she could destroy all evil. But she couldn't, and it was foolish to feel so high when she was so low.
They were together on an A-rank mission when her life was destroyed. She was concealing the elaborate wooden box addressed to the Hidden Sand when they were attacked. She was stupid to not concentrate on her blind spot. Sasuke saved her from the poisonous blade but at the cost of himself. It was her fault he was dead and she never let herself forget it. For many nights she had nightmares of the same event.
Hinata brushed away the tears that streamed down her cheeks, refusing to let herself give in the depression that ran deep into her mentality for so long. Depression was a snake that crawled inch by inch when you weren't expecting it. Once you were vulnerable it struck deep into your veins, never releasing it coil on you, watching you squirm and fall apart by the seems. Such an ugly thing depression was.
She took a deep breath in attempt to even out her mind. She didn't want to think like the melancholy woman she really was under the fake smile. In a couple months she would be Hinata Uzamaki and bleed out all her remembrance of Sasuke.
She could marry Naruto, it wasn't the worst solution. Deep in her heart she new she would be encased in her bridal chamber, if she had allowed her depression to take over she would have truly been a bride of death itself.
Of course she liked Naruto, he was very handsome and throughout her childhood she admired him greatly, but she could never love him the way she loved Sasuke. She could respect Naruto as a great leader to Konaha, protecting and ruling the village with a fair heart. He had wealth to provide for a family should they start one, and he was a very honorable man to value, any woman would kill to be in her position as fiancée to Naruto Uzamaki. But he was just an opportunity to strive and claw her way out of her memories.
Did she feel bad for using Naruto's emotions in such a way? Undoubtedly, she regretted every action she did no matter how minor. She hurt people in her lifetime and it burned inside her like the snake, Depression's venom crept closer and closer to her heart every time, waiting till it killed her off slowly. But Naruto was her outlet to at the very least keep her grounded. How selfish she felt.
It wasn't as if he was in love with her either. He had only settled for her after being rejected by Haruno Sakura. This small fact made Hinata find relief in her intentions; they were both close friends finding comfort in one another for losing the one they truly loved. It was a marriage running on console not love.
Hinata pulled her left hand close to her face studying the diamond ring on her finger, it was stunning and something about it showed it was from Naruto, like it screamed it was in his tastes for the one he loved. She guessed he had gotten it for Sakura when they were a couple about a year and half ago. Why didn't she accept his proposal? Everyone couldn't help but wonder why, when they were dating she seemed so happy and yet when he asked for her hand she straight out refused him. This bitter fact gnawed at the back of Hinata's head, when Sasuke had proposed to her with his mother's ring she felt like she was walking on air and everything just melted away into a pink fuzzy mist of blissful happiness. Why would Sakura give up such a blessing?
Hinata sighed forgetting the mystery of Sakura. The ring Sasuke had given her two years ago remained at her night stand. She had worn up until last month, she figured it was offensive to wear Sasuke's engagement ring when she was Naruto's fiancée. She liked to consider her and Sasuke married even though they were months away from the wedding when he died. She loved the way Hinata Uchiha sounded on her lips, and so did he.
Hanging her wedding dress Hinata felt the poison of that damn snake, Depression stir in her veins. She new when she hurt people it poison ran thicker, but more than anyone else she was harming herself and destroying herself quicker and quicker as she permitted the toxin to encase her into isolating depression.
"The first time I married for love," Hinata thought of Sasuke's dark protective somber eyes that she grew so accustomed to "the second time is for comfort" She pictured Naruto's deep blue compassionate eyes that she took console in.
"And yet Bride of Death I will always be."
Finally done! So this is like I said my first fanfic so don't judge me. Idk it's sort of random but I was listening to Vermillion by Slipknot while typing so it kind of makes sense, in way. Also my mom always told me "First time you marry for love, the second time for money." Kinda sad i mean come on who actually says that to their daughter!? anyways so this is my fav Naruto person in that perspective. No flames allowed! Criticism accepted.
