An Average Day in Forks
Disclaimer: Twlight, Buffy, X-files and any other things used in this story do not belong to me or my friend. They belong to their makers respectively.
AN: We wrote this over the Christmas holidays. We were bored. This is what resulted. In most cases its one line each but that doesn't really matter to you. Any way please review. I like reviews.
Once upon a time there lived a girl. Her name was Buffy Summers. She lived with her sister, Bella Swan. Who had a different last name because she was separated at birth but found Buffy on a holiday to Sunnydale. Bella and Buffy found it very annoying that their parents had given them names that were not only the same amount of letters long but both started with B as well. Buffy and Bella fought a lot because Buffy tried to kill Bella's boyfriend, Edward Cullen, and the rest of her family. Then Edward threatened to leave for Bella's own good, which only made her yell at her sister even more. Buffy was very annoyed and refused to talk to anyone. Except Spike, who was a member of an evil coven, and Giles, was a librarian. Buffy would never admit it but she was very happy to have those two people to talk to. And Bella would never let Edward leave, but Buffy didn't know that. The two girls didn't get on very well, which was probably because they were sisters. But Emmett Cullen, Edward's brother, picked fights with Buffy and inadvertently caused trouble between the sisters.
One evening Bella and Buffy went for a nice stroll in the graveyard nearby. Unknown to them, Emmett and Edward had mistaken their sister Alice's vision of spike – and because of Edwards over-protectiveness of Bella - set out to stop him going near her, a nearly unavoidable situation because Bella and Buffy were walking, and now inside the Forks Cemetery. In fact, at that moment, Bella and Buffy bumped right into spike, quite literally. 'Bloody hell!' Spike shouted as he jumped to his feet (they'd knocked him over).
'What are you doing here?' Bella snapped, she was very annoyed that they'd been interrupted because Buffy was going to say something very important
'You didn't tell me you had a little mini slayer' Spike grinned, staring at Bella, who was glaring at him.
'I am precisely the same age as Buffy' said Bella who really was very peeved 'and I do not intend to slay anyone at present'
'Why exactly is that, love?' Spike stepped towards her, leading to the discovery that he was in fact way taller than her, something Bella wasn't at all happy about.
'Spike this is…' Buffy didn't finish because at that moment Edward and Emmett arrived.
'Bella!' Edward yelled 'Get the hell away from him!'
Spike looked at Edward, who was very upset, then at Emmett, who looked as though he was wondering why he was there, then at Bella, who looked very shocked, and then at Buffy, who couldn't help but laugh and Spike laughed too
'I take it back, any guy who laughs at Edward must be ok' Bella said and Edward glared while Emmett high-fived her.
Buffy suddenly produced from out of nowhere a picnic rug and basket and set them on the ground "well, now we can start' she said happily
Bella's jaw dropped 'You cannot be serious,' she glared at Emmet and Spike 'did they put you up to this?'
'No I just thought it'd be nice, I invited everyone, see' said Buffy pointing at a group of assorted friends and relations coming their way.
Bella raised an eyebrow, pointing at the three vampire males present 'you're going to let the rock-star wannabe vampire mingle with my overprotective boyfriend and his brother when they want to maim and possibly re-kill each other?!?'
'Oh but mum and Giles made such a lovely tea for us' Buffy cried 'You three are going to be civil aren't you?'
All three glared at each other, and Buffy rolled her eyes 'You don't need Mulder and Scully to figure this out, they're gonna fight' Bella retorted but they all turned at an oh so familiar voice
'Look Scully, we have fans' and thus Mulder and Scully enter the scene because this writer is deeply obsessed and likes to annoy the other writer.
'Oh My Gosh,' said Emmett 'its Mulder and Scully off the X-files'
'And who are Mulder and Scully when they're at home?' snapped Edward.
'You're my idol' Emmett yelled at Mulder, while Bella yelled the same words at Scully, both ignoring a) Edward's question and b) the amused expressions on the agents faces; no-one noticed Spike rolling around laughing.
'You no I never knew having Bella and her family to stay would be so funny' Buffy commented.
Buffy had forgotten that she was visiting Forks! Meanwhile Edward was yelling at Emmett 'I told you how easily Bella gets obsessed and you've gotten her obsessed with the X-files!' The two FBI agents exchanged a glance.
'Who do you think they are?' Scully asked
'And what do they mean "from the X-files"? Those files were confidential' Mulder frowned, glancing at his partner then at Bella and Emmett.
Suddenly there was a large crash 'Oops' they all heard Emmett say.
'What have you done to ruin the picnic now?' Buffy sighed perhaps the whole picnic thing had been a bad idea after all.
'Uh, Buffy?' Bella was pointing at the hole in the ground that used to be the picnic basket.
'Did he do that to my picnic basket?' Buffy asked, icy calm and pointing at Emmett.
'Um, possibly' Bella bit her lip, shrugging. Everyone turned to look at Emmett who was trying very hard to vanish.
Mulder and Scully bent down beside the hole, glancing at each other as they examined it and hearing shouts from a certain slayer to a certain vampire in the background. Meanwhile the Slayer's sister and the two other vampires tried firstly to calm her down then, when that failed, to confiscate anything sharp and pointy in the vicinity. Bella upon getting the stake and accidentally nearly hitting him in the heart, was arguing with Spike.
'Watch where you're pointing that!' yelled Spike
'Well the vampires I know aren't hurt by stakes' Bella retorted, pointing the stake at his chest again by mistake.
'Watch it!' Spike snapped, taking a hurried step backward and bumping into Buffy, who was still yelling at Emmett.
'What made you think I wasn't doing it on purpose?' Bella demanded angrily.
'I hate to interrupt' said Mulder causing everyone to pause 'but would somebody mind telling us what's going on'
'It'd be easier to do that if we knew ourselves, but then again, isn't it your job to solve mysteries and crimes?' Buffy glanced at Emmett 'and I have your criminal! He murdered my picnic basket!'
'I'm not sure that qualifies as a crime let alone for a jail sentence' Scully said, amused.
'That's not…' Again Buffy was interrupted, this time by her sister.
'Edward!' Bella cried. Edward's fist paused an inch away from Spike's face and Bella clapped her hand to her forehead in exasperation.
'Bella' Edward complained. So now everyone was arguing with someone, except for Mulder and Scully who were still a little confused.
'Mulder, what possessed you to drag us to Forks?' Scully asked, turning to Mulder.
'You know, I have absolutely no idea' said Mulder 'why don't we just go back home Scully?' (Except for the fact that I have no idea where home is!)
'Normally, I'd agree with you Mulder but if we've appeared here with no recollection of how we got here, maybe we should look into it.' Scully sighed, observing the graveyard around them. Just then Buffy collapsed.
'Buffy!' Both Bella and Spike yelled. Everyone else just stared.
'She's not breathing' Scully said after checking her life signs.
'No way, that's my job!' Spike shouted.
'Hey,' said Emmett 'you're not the only vampire here you know'
'Can't you do anything?' Bella asked.
Scully was busy trying to make Buffy breath when Spike spoke up 'if need be, can I do the mouth to mouth?'
'Excuse me?' said Scully and Bella gave a hysterical little giggle.
'Sounds like this guy's been taking lessons off you, Mulder' Scully said as she continued to revive the slayer. At that Spike looked very put out and Bella couldn't help wondering if Spike had ever seen the X-files.
Suddenly Buffy started breathing and Scully sat back relieved that it had worked. 'Thank goodness' said Bella and Spike, although pleased that buffy was not dead, muttered several semi inaudible curses.
'Good job Scully' Mulder murmured to her as she stood up, both backing away from the hugging Spike was all to keen to be part of.
'What happened?' Buffy asked and Edward replied for them all,
'We were just about to ask you that' he said.
'All I remember is black' Buffy frowned.
Scully spoke up 'its common to lose a certain amount of memory after losing consciousness, especially when you need to be revived.'
'Oh' said Buffy 'that explains a lot… I fainted?'