A/N: Reviews are very much appreciated!
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THE GAMES WE PLAY
Ziva's heart skips a beat as she walks into the break room. Despite herself, a small knowing smile pulls at her mouth, because he's there. She hasn't had an opportunity to have a real conversation with Tony all week, but there he is and suddenly the small voice inside her is telling her that it's all going to be okay.
Then Tony abruptly shifts in his chair revealing a woman sitting beside him. She is slight with brown hair and eyes that light up as she talks with Tony. Instantly, Ziva knows, she's the one he's been with all this time. He smiles and laughs as unbeknownst to him Ziva approaches the table. "I didn't know you had company here." she greets. Remembering he was not alone, Tony uncomfortably turns back to the woman, "Uh yes this is Jeanne, my…" Tony stutters, his eyes locked on Ziva's. "Girlfriend." Jeanne quickly supplies, "Sorry for intruding I just thought I'd stop to bring Tony lunch for once. He's always so nice visiting me I felt it was my turn. I'm sorry if I'm inconveniencing you." Jeanne smiles broadly at Ziva and extends a hand to her. "It is no problem. I will just be on my way."
With a tight smile Ziva leaves the break room before Jeanne has a chance to say anything else. Upon exiting, she lingers outside the doorway and watches as Tony returns to his conversation with Jeanne. He laughs at something she says and grabs her hand, interlacing their fingers. Ziva works her way back to her desk in the now empty squad room. He's always with her. Does she have to intrude on the workplace now too? Ziva evaluated the woman who had been consuming her partners time. She is pretty and naïve. If she only knew what the world was really like.
A headache starts to pulse behind her temples and she tries desperately to push it away, to push all feeling away. She had been trained to be able to shut down. Her emotions were a switch that she could turn on and off as she pleased, but with Tony it was different. It was never as easy as she wished it could be. How could I have been so foolish? He deserves better. He deserves someone who makes him laugh like she does. The game we played was fun, but now he's found someone to love and the game is over. Regardless of how hard she tried she was unable to squash the small amount of hope that remained inside her.
Hope that maybe one day he would change his mind, maybe one day he would come back to her, maybe one day he would chase her again. She missed those days, back when they were inseparable. Things were so much easier then. Tony would tease her about silly little things that drove her insane, but secretly she looked forward to those moments most of all. The moments where he made her laugh, and for that time she forgot about all of the pain and heartache. It seemed that was all she could remember at times like this. She had lost nearly everyone she loved –Tali, Ari, her mother. Their ghosts followed her.
She sometimes wondered when it all changed. When he pulled away and their friendship wilted like a flower in a drought. Deep inside she worried that she pushed him away; that it was her fault everything had changed. Ziva felt like she was losing Tony the same way she lost everyone else she loved. She liked the way he had once teased her and pursued her while she enjoyed toying with him. It was a kind of cat and mouse game, always waiting to see who would be the first to break. I lost, she thought bitterly, He has found happiness and I have lost my only chance at mine.
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