Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul. Tokyo Ghoul belongs to Sui Ishida.
A/N: I'm not really into dark animes, but I'm glad I watched Tokyo Ghoul! I'm now reading the manga, but I haven't finished it yet so my knowledge is limited. Hopefully I did Kaneki justice. Please leave a review and enjoy! Thanks for reading.
Warning for language. Sorry, I've never had the guts to actually say swear words in real life xD
Half-Crazed
Kaneki hadn't eaten in days. He thought nothing could satisfy his hunger, until he forced himself to eat his only food source.
It haunted him. It mocked at him and tempted him, until he couldn't ignore it anymore. It was controlling him.
Miss Rize... the ghoul.
His breath was quick, choppy, and uncontrolled. Never constant, always a different rhythm, like he was taking turns breathing and sharing his lungs with someone else. He hunched over, feeling like they were going to collapse.
That scent... Why am I-? It's so...
Delicious! Mine!
It wafted into his nose, filling his lungs, sending shivers of pleasure down his spine. The hunger made his stomach growl and ache. Fire boiled in his stomach, but the smell made it settle slightly. He had to resist the urge to lunge and rip his food apart with his teeth.
Fight it! Fight it! No, I'll -
Devour... I'll fucking devour it! Give it to me!
Trembling with fear and at the edge of insanity, he reached for it. He couldn't stop his hand from moving. His body was acting on instinct, but now his instincts weren't even human.
I don't want this!
His eyes twitched just looking at it. His right eye had tears flowing down, staining his cheeks, but his left eye glowed and burned, gazing desperately at his meal in front of him.
No, please...
His clenched his teeth, his molars grinding together in attempt to keep his mouth shut. But he couldn't help imagining sinking his teeth into his meal. Morbid emotions, cravings, and desires that weren't even his were racing through him. He could barely think straight. It was consuming him, taking over him.
Consume. Eat.
St... Stop!
So I can eat.
His mouth slowly opened and he pulled the food closer to his mouth with a shaking hand. Closer, closer, only inches away from a bite. In an instant, without thinking...
No. NEVER!
He had one bite.
It's all mine!
And another.
With the strength he had left, he stuck his free hand into his mouth and near his throat, desperately trying to upchuck. If he swallowed, he would be a monster. His fingers reached his throat. He wanted to vomit. If he ate, he would not be human.
No more...
He was too late.
More.
It was already in his system, and he was going for another bite. He couldn't fight the temptation. In defeat, he tried to quickly swallow and get it over with, but his tongue wouldn't allow him, as this time he continued to chew and let the taste linger on his taste buds. He expected it to be foul.
More.
He'd never taste anything like it...
I want -
More!
to -
EAT MORE!
He knew a hint of the taste. Multiple times, he tasted it as he would spit up blood or when he'd accidentally bite his lip or the inside of his cheek. He recognized the metallic smell and flavour, but there was something different about this one - someone else's. It was like the taste was combined with foreign flavours and seasonings. His pulse was racing. He could feel his blood throbbing in his ears, his veins popping out of his skin.
Stop!
And let me savour it!
Suddenly it became a pleasing scent, similar to his mother's home cooking, but greater than that. Something beyond even that, so irresistible and addicting! One bite already and he couldn't stop eating. It gave his body energy. He twitched as he felt a surge of power and mixed emotions.
I need... want... more...
He swallowed, catching his breath. His voice trembled and came out as a low, gritty growl. It sounded raw and alien, something no human would ever make.
What did I get myself into?
One of his eyes would not stop crying, tears streaming down like a waterfall. His human self was almost forgotten now.
Kaneki, you fucked up! How pathetic!
At first it started out as a low, breathy, chuckle, then he burst out and started laughing at himself, his face drenched with tears and sweat.
Does Mother know? About... her weak son? You miserable boy. It's hilarious.
His hunger was finally satisfied - so easily filled by a single human. What more if he ate multiple? He never had anything like it, but he loved it. The sound of tearing skin. The rare, vibrant, crimson colour against the darkness, which could only be seen when it would seep through the wounds. Bones crunched beneath his palms, turning to dust between his fingertips. Before, he would question his morals and wonder if his meal had thoughts, any loved ones, or a life ahead of them, but none of that mattered anymore.
This was something he had to do. He had no choice.
I'll never be the same. I'm no longer Kaneki...
The wide smile never left his lips, which were covered in his saliva, as he drooled from hunger. He was a messy eater, and his special treat was just so goddamn delicious.
Kill, hunt, and eat to survive. Take lives to live your own. That is how a ghoul lives in this cruel world. Being only half, he never felt like he truly belonged anywhere. But for once, the two halves came together, piecing into something greater, something whole. And in exchange he turned into a monster, a ghoul disguised as a human.
At the moment, he didn't give a damn. He just loved the feeling of being full.
Full from humans. Flesh. Blood. Meat. He loved it all.
Slowly, he realized that the woman, Rize, was never really there. It was just him, and him alone.
Mmm...
He ate it all.