oh, i just want to hold you
Together, they had been vampire best friends.
Apart, they had been so alone without even realizing it.
He could practically feel Lexi watching him from the other side, silently urging him to go after the one person that made him happier than he had ever been before.
Of course, he couldn't. He wasn't about to wreck what he had once had with that young vampire.
But leaving all the same, it made everything that they had built up go away.
. . .
"Where are we going?" he demanded for the fifth time that hour.
Klaus cocked an eyebrow before finally pulling the car over onto the side of the road. "Just an errand."
"An errand?" Stefan repeated, glaring viciously in the Original's direction. "What kind of an errand?"
"Well, not really an errand," said Klaus as he got out of the car. Stefan followed suit and immediately recognized where they were. The old apartment building where he had lived in the 20's and early 30's. The place was a bucket of dust, mold, and rust but it still stood high and proud.
The two men walked inside, Klaus leading the way. They walked up the rickety steps, neither saying a word to each other for several minutes. Stefan found himself silently counting the floors, knowing exactly which one that they would come to a standstill at.
And they did finally reach it, entering the hallway that he had walked down several times almost seventy years ago.
"Apartment 2D, correct?" Klaus said. Stefan jutted his head in a small nod. Klaus pushed open the door to reveal a seemingly darkened, seemingly empty living room. "An old friend has popped by to say hello."
That's when he made out the shape in the corner of the floor. She was huddled in the corner, coated with scarlet and surrounded by empty blood bags.
Caroline.
"Caroline?!" He flew to her side, falling to his knees. "Caroline, look at me!"
She growled instead, lashing out with long nails when he tried to take the blood bag away.
"You should have seen it, Stefan," says Klaus. "She showed up here about a day ago, asking for anything to allow your release. Who was I to turn away such a pretty young thing? And mighty strong for such a young vampire! Are you the one who turned her? That would explain it."
"Let her go, you son of a bitch!" He was on his feet again, less than an inch away from the elder vampire. "She has nothing to do with this!"
"But alas, dear Stefan. Caroline came to me. She was the one who offered herself up. I don't give a damn about your brother or even that doppleganger," he says with a leer. "But maybe this little thing has something to offer. I can teach her to embrace what she truly is."
"Caroline isn't like that. She's-" His voice broke off.
"She's what, Stefan? Too good? Too kind?" Klaus asks. "You were once too, remember? And look at yourself now. You are here with me, ripping out throats and draining bodies dry. Bringing Caroline in would make it even more interesting, would it not?"
"Stefan..."
He whirled around. Caroline was slowly pushing herself to her feet, the veins still quite protrudent underneath her eyes. The large amount of blood she had taken in was almost weakening to her and her knees were trembling.
"Caroline, you can't do this-"
"Yes, I can," she says carefully. "It's the only way to make sure-"
"To make sure that you're safe," Klaus finishes.
He stares at Caroline's huddled form, unable to take his eyes away. She looks back at him, the veins starting to fade away. Her form straightens up and she doesn't tear her gaze away.
He can practically hear her voice, half irritating, half so damn beautiful.
"I'm here. It's okay."
. . .
And there, she stayed.
Klaus didn't hold her to her deal. He offered her a way out every time, testing her devotion and her faith.
And every time, she stayed.
"The one thing bigger than your lust for blood and your love for that one girl, is her love for you," Stefan hears Klaus's voice at his ear one night. "She may not romantically love you but she is devoted to you." The elder vampire sounds almost jealous.
"She thinks she owes me," he says quietly, watching Caroline's sleeping form on the cot across from them. "I helped her through her transition and rescued her from a pack of werewolves."
Klaus looks back and forth between them thoughtfully. "She doesn't owe you a thing," he says. "She's here because she wants to be."
. . .
Damon and Elena showed up about a month after that fateful night.
They walked in on Klaus's test of Caroline's loyalty to him. Her draining an innocent man dry.
The bloodbath that followed was ugly. Caroline managed to snap herself out of it in time and pulled Elena out of the wreckage while Damon and Klaus fought.
"Caroline, what are you doing?!" Elena practically wailed. "Where's Stefan?"
"Stefan's all right," Caroline says quickly. "He's alive and he's well. But he's not coming home any time soon. You need to collect Damon and get the hell out before Klaus-"
"Before what, Caroline? Before he what?"
"He will make me kill you. Now go before that happens, all right? Just go!"
. . .
"Is she out of her mind?! She's going to get both of them killed."
Elena sighed tiredly. "She's protecting Stefan, Damon. And Klaus...he likes her."
"So he makes her into a ripper like Stefan?" Damon demands angrily. "That's just what we need. Now we have two of them to dry out."
She shakes her head. "No, we won't."
. . .
"You are free to go."
For a moment, he thought he was dreaming.
"What?"
"You have earned your freedom. No harm will come to Elena or your brother. You may go home to them."
It had been months. Bodies were scattered to the wind and Caroline was dealing with such guilt that she knew that she would take her own life once this ordeal was over. It was either that or she was going to flip that switch. She couldn't do this anymore.
Only one thing was holding her to the earth. One person was keeping her alive. All she had to do was remind herself that she was doing this to protect him.
But the ripper within her was roaring away.
And she finally knew what Stefan had gone through.
"Good," Stefan whispers. "Caroline, let's go."
"Caroline still has some time to serve with me."
Both young vampires froze. "What?" Stefan says, his green eyes narrowing.
"I have no need for you anymore," Klaus says. "But Caroline...she has spirit. She has fire. She could definitely be something great."
"She's not a ruthless killer, Klaus," says Stefan. And it was true. In the past months, it had been Stefan who had done most of the killing. "Let her go."
Klaus takes a wary step forward, almost like he was ready to hit him.
And then he grabs Caroline's arms, pulling her forward.
"No!" Stefan cries out but is thrown backward with a forceful punch.
Caroline feels herself being compelled for the first time in nearly a year.
. . .
He returns to Mystic Falls alone, shutting himself up in a tiny apartment away from the world. He ignores Damon's calls, Elena's pleas. It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing at all could get him back out.
Except her.
"Do you want to tell me why you are holed up here instead of out searching for the love of your life?"
"Lexi?!"
She gives him the sweetest, most dangerous smile ever. "Hey, buttercup."
. . .
"Damn it, Stefan. I thought you were stronger than that! Why didn't you keep fighting?!"
"I fought as hard as I could, Lexi! He's too strong! He would have killed us both!"
"God forgive me for saying this but better both of you die together than Caroline being left in Klaus's clutches!"
. . .
So he began to fight again. To fight for her and to fight for himself.
He loved his brother. He wouldn't take back a single day of what he went through if it meant Damon was alive and well. He would take the hate and the disdain, no matter how much it hurt as long as Damon was okay.
He loved Elena too. He would always love her.
But now, after nearly a year of what he had gone through, maybe she wasn't the one he was meant to spend the rest of his life with.
Caroline had been the one that had turned up and got pushy with Klaus for him. She had been able to deal with him becoming the ripper once again, to be that evil figure he had been known as all those years ago. And yes, it seemed like she was a ripper now too. But he knew Caroline-he knew her heart. Her spirit.
And she was never a true ripper.
Because even in Death, her heart was innocent.
And through her beauty and her absolute joy, he was able to find his humanity once again.
. . .
"Well, you never give up, do you?"
"She's paid her dues, Klaus," he says quietly. "Now let her go home."
Klaus let out an evil chuckle. "I'm afraid I can't do that. See, I need a ripper and she is the perfect one. Even better than you ever were, I'm afraid."
His stomach turned. "You're lying."
"Am I?" Klaus quirked an eyebrow. "Have you been paying attention to the papers these last few months? All of those 'animal attacks'," he made the air quotes with his fingers. "Those weren't my victims, Stefan. They were Caroline's."
. . .
She had escaped. She had fled far away into the wilderness, slowly becoming the wild animal that she was always meant to be.
He found her. He wasn't about to let her go.
She thrashed against the bonds, the effects of the loss of blood frying what was left of her brain cells.
"Damn you, Stefan!" she screamed. This had been the second time that she had been plopped in that chair, nearly tortured to death. Of course, Stefan didn't know that.
He wasn't torturing her like Lexi had done to him all those years ago. He wasn't staking her or even starving her. He allowed her to have bits of animal blood to stay alive but not one drop of human.
"You're not getting out of that chair until the old Caroline is back," he says.
The old Caroline was still there. Deep down inside, she was there. That humanity switch needed to get flipped back on.
. . .
"It's a never ending chain reaction with you people, isn't it? Stefan gives up everything, including Elena, to keep me alive. And then you give up everything-your life, Tyler, your mom, to go after my baby brother and protect him from Klaus. Why?"
She would like nothing more than to be able to get out of this chair and rip Damon's head off. But of course, these stupid bonds were stopping her from doing that.
"Because, Damon," she snarled. "That's how family works."
"But you and Stefan aren't family. You're not blood-"
"It doesn't matter!" she growls viciously, startling him into taking a step back. "After everything, Stefan was the one that was there for me. He fought for me when you were using me as your little squeak toy. I was not about to stand by and allow the same thing to happen to him."
Damon started to circle her. "So you did it because you owed him?" It was an honest question. He wanted to know-he had to know.
Caroline sighed. "I don't owe him a damn thing," she snapped. "Like how you don't owe him anything. I did it because I loved him and wanted him to be okay. Even if it meant becoming another chew toy for Klaus to play with. At least I was there and I was able to make sure that he was alive."
"Then why didn't he use me?!" His sudden outburst causes Caroline to fall into silence. "I did that! I offered a trade. I could've-"
"No, you couldn't have!" Caroline nearly shouted. Damon frowned and she continued on. "You have no value in Klaus's eyes. But Stefan did and apparently, so did I. I guess I remind him of Rebekah or something, I don't know. But you have no value. Any chance that he gets, he will kill you just to get you the hell out of his way."
Damon glares. "Then why am I still alive?"
"Because he made Stefan a promise. And he made me a promise."
. . .
She wasn't surprised that it was Damon who released her from the underground dungeon. She was surprised to see Elena there though, waiting outside.
The brunette held up a half of a cup of blood, B positive by the smell of it. Her favorite. Caroline gingerly took it with three fingers, looking at her friend questionably.
"Just a little bit at a time," Elena whispers, eyes downcast. And with that, she turns and walks away.
. . .
She finds him sitting on her porch the next morning.
"Why did you fight for me?"
She sighs, lowering herself down beside him on the front stoop. "Because I wanted too," she whispers. "Because you are the one person that means more to me than anyone. Because you are the only one that has fought for me."
They sit in silence for several moments, relishing the sweetness of the night air.
And then Caroline slaps him as hard as she could in the arm.
"Ow! What the hell was that for?!" Stefan leans back, glaring at her.
"If you ever leave without saying goodbye again, I swear to God, I will kick your ass!"
. . .
He sees Elena slowly approaching him and finds that he is unable to walk away.
She stops about a foot from him, her eyes sad but understanding.
"It's like..." her voice breaks. "It's like she chose you. And she knew that only she could break through."
"You can't help who you care about, Elena," he whispers.
She nods slowly, forcing back tears. "I know that now, Stefan. And I know that you can't help loving her back."
. . .
And even in the case of Death, there can be a small bit of light left in the world. With a bit of love and a little bit of simple joy, that light can overpower the darkness.
The blonde blinked rapidly when the long dead vampire took form in front of her. She stopped and took a step backward, finally recognizing who this person really was.
"Lexi?"
"Hi Caroline."
And for once, she's not afraid.
"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at peace," she whispers, lowering herself down onto the porch swing.
"Not yet," the other blonde sighed slightly. "I just need to check on one thing."
Caroline swallowed noisily. "And what's that?"
"You."
She stared. "Excuse me?"
Lexi stepped forward somewhat. "You are the one person that has made Stefan happy. Hell, he smiles when he is with you. Even with me, it took years for it to happen."
Caroline allowed herself to smile. "He makes me happy too. He gives me that fire that I need and-"
"You give him the joy that he so desperately needs," Lexi finishes quietly. "And you know what?"
"You're not at peace because he is still so miserable," Caroline sums up lightly.
The corner of her mouth quirks and Lexi straightens. "I think I can be now," she says.
The sound of a car door slamming makes them both start ever so slightly. Lexi turns and they both see Stefan coming up the walk. He sees her and freezes.
"Lexi-?"
It's different this time. She isn't swept away in a bolt of wind, not able to get her last words out in time. It's much more gentle, much more peaceful.
A little light breaks through the clouds, encircling the blonde in it's warmth. Stefan and Caroline can both feel it.
She casts a tender nod in Caroline's direction before she turns to fully face her dear friend of two centuries. The light is taking her in, slowly fading her away.
"You're okay now," she whispers. And then she smiles. "You are okay now." Their gaze into each other's eyes never breaks.
And then she's gone, into the light with the ease of peace and love.
. . .
I'm leaving it there so you can make your own decisions about what happens to Caroline and Stefan. Either they continue into a romantic relationship or they remain friends. They had Lexi's full blessing because she knew how happy Caroline makes Stefan and the real sacrifices that she is willing to make for him that I don't see Damon or Elena making.
Anyway, I hope you liked. Reviews are much appreciated. Have an amazing and safe Christmas everyone. God bless.