A/N: I haven't logged on to fanfic in a long time, but the last few episodes of Season 8 left me a tad upset. I'm really not a Kathy fan. So I had to start reading/writing some stuff that I wanted to see. The last thing I want to see is Kathy and Elliot having a baby- BARF A ROOO. Although if Dick Wolf is gonna get Olivia hooked up I'm glad that they picked a nice looking guy like the one playing Dean Porter. Vincent something or other. He's no Hugh Jackman, but he's swarthy none the less. This is just a small set up. If you're a EO fan don't get too disappointed by this first chapter. Drop me a line if you have any opinions about it. Either way. It's cool.

New Life

Part One

Fidelity

"The heart is the place where we live our passions. It is frail and easily broken, but wonderfully resilient. There is no point in trying to deceive the heart. It depends upon our honesty for its survival. Born For Love" - Leo F. Buscaglia

Broken Glass

A light rain drizzled onto Olivia's face as she walked toward her lonely Manhattan apartment. She had just had the worst and possibly the last day of her career. She called her brother's cell phone one more time.

"You've reached the Marsdon's you know what to do. Beep"

She flipped the phone closed and sat on the stoop of her building. Her hair grew heavy from the rain. She held her face to the sky and closed her eyes. The rain was the only thing keeping her from feeling completely isolated and untouchable. For a second she almost smiled at the release of tension from her long day. The stress drained from her mind and a familiar face stained the back of her eyelids.

Images of a family sitting around a table flashed by. He sat across from her. A few children giggled in the background. Her brother and his wife laughed at a joke he just told. All at once fear came over her body. It was a fear of emptiness. She had waited so long to begin this dream. The story played over and over again in her mind for years. He had his happy memories and she wanted so badly to be a part of them. "Don't be stupid, Olivia. It's too late, you stubborn fool," she thought to herself before opening her eyes and shaking back the tears.

"Olivia?"

Olivia looked up to see Dean Porter standing in front of her.

"Enjoying the lovely weather we're having?" He gazed at her bloodshot eyes from under a large umbrella.

She stood up. Her face was level with his but she avoided eye contact as much as possible. "Yeah. Who gave you my address?"

Dean held the umbrella over her head. "FBI."

Olivia ducked from his umbrella and headed towards her buildings' door. "So what are you stocking me now? It's illegal to obtain personal information without reason."

"Whoa, wait. Olivia, I just came to tell you the results."

Olivia froze, "The results? I didn't know they started broadcasting that information."

"Rodger Manning is a good friend of mine. He evaluated your interview with internal affairs. I thought you should hear it in person, so I waited for him after you left."

"I'm glad to know that my foolish mistakes are now making their way around the FBI water cooler. Thanks for your concern Dean, but I'd rather get my news from an 8x11 doubled spaced letter in black ink. Good night." Olivia turned to open her building door when a gruff voice spoke from behind Dean's figure.

"Don't be a hard ass Olivia. When did you become so interested in the board of internal affairs journalism abilities?" Don Cragen pushed passed Dean and handed Olivia a letter.

"Dean helped me quicken the process. I'd tell you to open it, but it sounds so much better coming out of my mouth. You're not fired yet."

Olivia scrunched her brow in disbelief and ripped open the letter.

Don smiled, "They've put you on probation starting next week and they're going to be watching you like a hawk, which means you better stay focused. But if you're not sick of seeing my saggy face you can throw the classified ads away. You just saved your ass."

Olivia hugged Cragen with tears in her eyes, "Thanks Don."

"Don't thank me. Dean was the one with all the compliments."

Olivia smiled, "Now who's being a hard ass."

The three of them stood in awkward silence and Dean backed away, "Well, Congratulations, Benson. I'll see both of you around."

"Dean, wait. Thank you."

Olivia touched his arm and he swore his heart stopped, "It was nothing. You would have done the same for me."

Don cleared his throat, "Well, I had a long night. I'll see you in the morning, Liv. Dean, Good night."

"Good night Captain," Olivia replied.

The silence came over Olivia and the handsome FBI agent, Dean Porter, once again. The pause was so deafening that she had almost forgotten about the rain.

"You wanna come up?"

"No, I'd better go." Dean took a step towards the sidewalk.

"No, really, Dean. Please. Come up and have something to drink. It's the least I can do. Heck, if you ask nicely I might even be up for making omelets."

Scene

Olivia burst into a fit of genuine laughter as Dean scooped the burnt omelet into the wastebasket, "I thought you said you were good at this."

"I lied,"Dean replied as he watched her cute nose scrunch in the middle and her smile that brightened the room. It was an infectious smile. He couldn't help but laugh and stare in her presence.

"Lied!? You better hope I never evaluate you. Dean Porter, he's a bullheaded agent. I'd be willing to forgive his transgressions except that he makes a real shitty omelet."

She stepped toward him and traced the top of her wine glass with the tip of her finger.

He moved closer to her. "You're all talk Benson. You're good at your job, but Nancy Drew doesn't play well in the kitchen."

Olivia coyly smiled ", My Nancy Drew could beat your Inspector Gadget any day."

He leaned next to her on the counter ", Try me."

She locked eyes with him. His intentions seemed playful, but Olivia wasn't the type to let down her guard.

Her body froze unable to decide what she wanted.

He touched her shoulder to get her to relax. "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue."

"No," she replied with a half of a smile and frustration in her eyes.

"Relax," he whispered as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

The touch of his face made her clinch up with nervous excitement.

A man hadn't touched her like that in years. The smell of his cologne consumed her.

The hard protective shell she carried softened with the touch of his hand on hers.

He slowly kissed her neck and traced the fingers that she wrapped around the wine glass.

The feeling of his lips and tongue sent wild chills to her to her head. She closed her eyes and let a sound slip from her throat.

Smoothly he stopped and opened her crossed arms. She had yearned to be with a man, but something kept her mind detached.

She felt as if she were watching the act from above. The out of body experience didn't seem right, but her body kept up with the movement of Dean's intimate gestures.

His kisses grew passionate and he slid his tongue into her mouth. She pulled away slightly, but he was persistent and his hand followed the line of her neck.

The tips of his fingers glided over her collarbone and pulled the strap of her black tank top from the curve of her shoulder.

His dark eyes followed his hand as he uncovered her soft dark breast.

Olivia started to shake. Dean watched her while his fingertips played with her nipple. Olivia blinked and twitched away from him before he could take it any further.

"What's wrong?"

For the first time in front of Dean, Olivia felt small and ashamed. "I'm sorry. I- it's been a long time. I'm not sure-"

"We can stop."

Olivia didn't answer him right away. She knew Dean was a great guy and she wanted this, but a fear ran over her as she contemplated her actions.

"Liv, it's ok. We don't have to do this. I understand."

And then her world stopped. Olivia dropped her wine glass at the sound of it. Her name, and his voice casually saying it, as if they'd broken the first step to knowing each other. There were only a few people who ever called her that and he was not one of them.

The pieces of glass smashed across the floor and she clenched her eyes tightly closed.

The sound of it all made her numb.

Elliot's voice rang in her ears and before she could react a vibration coming from her pocket stopped her.

Olivia walked away and pulled her shirt back on.

"Benson, " she said as she flipped open the phone.

"Liv, meet me at the warehouses on 52nd. It's a TV set. There's been a kidnapping and possible rape. Victims' in hysterics."

"Got it."

She turned to see Dean cleaning up the wine glass, "That was my partner. I've gotta go."

"All right. It's probably better that way."

"Yeah."

"I wouldn't want to get too personal," Dean grabbed his coat and headed towards the door.

"What did you say?"

"Too personal. I wouldn't want to mess that up."

Olivia stood next to him by the door unsure of her opinion on that. "Sounds like something Elliot would say."

"He's a smart man. Good night, Olivia Benson," Dean turned and disappeared down the hallway.

Olivia grabbed her gun and badge and closed her door shut. Slowly she locked the bolt as the words "too personal" ran through her mind.