Agony of love
"I just don't know how much longer I can take it Robin!" The sobs of the orange haired pirate made her whole body shake. Even the soft touch and calming words of her best friend didn't help her anymore. In the past few months Nami had come crying almost every other day and the black haired woman couldn't help but worry about her friend's well-being. "You should let go of him Nami-san, I don't want you to cry over him so often, he's not worth that." With red rimmed eyes, the navigator of the strawhats looked up. "B-But I love him so much." A sad smile formed around Robin's lips. "I know. Get some rest for now, it's been a long day." Exhausted from all the crying, the young woman fell asleep very soon and Robin quietly left the room.
Night had fallen hours ago and the sky was decorated with a million stars. Even though this was an exceptionally beautiful night, Robin couldn't enjoy the view and instead she searched for the mechanic of their pirate crew. She found him in his workshop, working on something she could not define. When he turned around he wanted to greet her warmly, but her face made him frown: "What's wrong?" A deep sigh escaped from Robin's lips as she sat down on a stool and leaned against the wall. "Nami." Franky was the only person Robin had told about Nami's misery. He mimicked her sigh and crossed his legs casually, his frown still in place. "I just don't know how to help her. She says she loves him, but I just can't understand why she still feels that way, even if he treats her like trash." A weak smile was sent Robin's way. "You can't control your heart. As much as we'd like to, we can't decide whom we fall in love with, Robin." "I just wish I could help her." "I know." Strong arms were wrapped around the raven haired woman for comfort. "I would never treat you like he treats her." Robin smiled fondly at Franky and kissed him softly. "I know."
Even though Franky and Robin were the only two people who knew exactly what was going on, the other people of the crew had noticed that something was most definitely wrong with their navigator. Sanji had seen how Robin left Nami's cabin and he secretly went to the door to listen. The sobs didn't surprise him – they merely confirmed what he already knew: there was something wrong with his Nami and it was breaking her. "Oi Sanji, what are you doing you pervert?!" "Shht! Be quiet, Usopp!" The sniper pulled a face at him and looked like he wanted to say something else, but something in Sanji's expression made him remain silent. "She's crying." Usopp's face grew sad and he leaned against the mast. "Just what's eating her? She's been so sad lately." The silence that followed was awkward, because Sanji just didn't know what was wrong with Nami and that made him feel helpless. He wanted to help her badly, but he couldn't as long as he didn't know what was wrong with her. Sanji shook his head, threw away his cigarette and went towards the sleeping quarters, waving at his crewmate as a way to say goodnight. Usopp sighed and looked up at the crow's nest, freezing in place when his eyes met Zoro's cold gaze. Uncomfortable under the icy stare, Usopp swallowed hard and followed the cook to bed.
Huffing, Zoro looked up at the stars and placed his katana by his side. The stupid woman always confused him and bothered him. He ran a hand through his hair and closed his eye momentarily. When he opened it and glanced out of the window again he accidently met Nami's gaze. Startled, he turned his face away from her and removed himself from the window, but even though Zoro distanced himself from her, he could see the image of her red rimmed eyes clearly inside of his head. "Tch, troublesome woman." His hand combed through his green hair once more as he paced nervously around his room.
Sad eyes lowered and even though droplets of water still clung to here eyelashes, new tears formed in the brown eyes of the young woman. Her hand had still been at the doorknob when her eyes had met Zoro's, but now it hung lifelessly by her side. Nami walked to the side of the ship and gazed at the water, wondering if maybe it would be better to leave. She had been in love with Zoro almost since the moment she'd met him, but never even once had she told him or even hinted it. But after not seeing him for two years she just couldn't hold it back and she'd confessed how she felt for him. With a sad sigh, Nami placed her chin on her arms that she'd folded on the railing. "Zoro! I… I need to tell you something." He had looked up at her with disinterest, but she just had to tell him. "I ehm… I meant to tell you this a long time ago and I know I'm not supposed to since we're crewmates and such, but… I love you." Sinking down to her knees, Nami turned around and sat down, leaning with her back against the railing. He had frowned and looked away. "You're right, you're not supposed to." That was all he'd said and ever since he had started being harsh toward her. And in the beginning she had hoped that it was because he didn't know how to react, but by now she had realized that is was to make her stop loving him.
"I can't stop loving you," she whispered, face hidden at her pulled up knees. "You should, Nami. I have no time for love on my way to becoming the best swordsman and besides; you don't want a guy like me." The swordsman had silently gotten onto the deck and had watched her. "Don't decide for me what I want!" "Nami, you would be worrying far too much. We will be meeting far more dangerous enemies from now on and fact is that you are one of the weakest crew members. We try our best to protect every one of us, but love would only get in the way." Nami shook her head, orange curls cupping her face, sticking to her wet cheeks. "I don't understand." Sighing deep, Zoro slid down against the mast and looked calmly at his crying crewmate. This was the first time since she'd confessed they actually talked. "Enemies always look for weak points in a crew. Chopper, Usopp and you are just not as strong as the rest of us." Biting her lip in an attempt to hold a sob back, Nami said in a strained voice: "That hasn't been much of a problem so far." The swordsman sighed and closed his eye. "I can't afford you to be my weak point Nami." Confused, tear-filled eyes were directed at Zoro, who smiled helplessly. "You're supposed to be one of the smartest here, Nami." "B-But -" Suddenly, Zoro looked a little helpless, scratching his neck with an uncomfortable look in his eye. "It's not that I don't… well… you know, love you. It's just that… I can't." He came close to her and kneeled before her, cupping her cheeks. "I can't allow myself to love you, because I'd be worried sick about you all the time." He softly leaned his forehead against hers and caressed her cheek with his thumb. "You act quite tough, but in my arms you feel so breakable. Chopper secretly is a monster, Usopp has the strange ability to survive pretty much everything, but you – you're so fragile." Zoro pulled Nami close in an embrace and whispered: "I just can't allow myself to love you, because it would hurt too much if I'd lose you. So please, try to swallow your feelings, at least for now, until I am strong enough to protect you from everyone." Holding him close for the moment, Nami nodded at his chest.
He leaned back and cupped her cheeks once more: "Try to smile again, will you? Everyone's worried about you. It's just not the same without your smile." A weak smile formed around Nami's lips, as tears continued to stream down her cheeks. Breathing deeply, Zoro smiled at her and tenderly placed a kiss on her lips. "I'll always be yours, but until I'm strong enough to protect you, you can't be mine."