May, 1960
All she could remember, from the moment her memories began, were her two older sisters and she, hiding away in the big Black mansion, fearing the moment they would be found.
It was like a game, to them, hiding from Father and Mother. A game, but with consequences.
The first one found would face their wrath, and they took turns in that.
Sisterly love you could call it.
It was more like blackmail.
"Bella," Dromeda would say "guess what I found today?" and Bella would groan and go endure her mother lesson's that day.
Druella Black née Rosier always preached the same thing.
"Talk like a lady, act like a lady, behave like a lady, eat like a lady.."
"A lady never slouches, a lady never burps, a lady never giggles, she will only give a dignified smile"
"Narcissa, hold your tongue. How will any man want you if you say such things?"
"Andromeda, you should not read so much. How will any man want you if the only thing you do is read?"
"Bellatrix don't do that. How will any man want you if you cannot eat properly?"
Oh, if her mother could see her respectable young ladies now.
One of them married to a Mudblood. One of them dead, after going crazy. And the last one..
Well, Narcissa had always been the sweetest girl, had she not? Respectably married and mother of a good boy (with no ties whatsoever to a dark lord.)
The sweetest girl, indeed.
XXX
And though Lady Black preached obedience to her daughters, she didn't listen to her pureblood husband.
The three girls saw but never asked. Even if they would have, Druella would have come up with a clever explanation.
And a clever punishment.
September, 1963
When Bella left for Hogwarts Dromeda cried because she wanted to go too.
When Andromeda left one years later, Narcissa stayed perfectly silent, because she knew her turn would come later.
Her mother congratulated her on being such a sweet and well educated young lady and her father gave her a kind, albeit tired smile.
XXX
Even though the mansion was silent and boring without her sisters, Narcissa never uttered a word of complaint.
Instead the nine year old girl roamed the halls, hearing snippets of conversation, spying on the servants and discovering secrets she would never share.
April, 1965
The walls in the Black Mansion weren't really thick.
She remembered the day everything started falling apart.
"How many times, have I asked you, Druella dear, to stop with those insane things you call lessons?"
Her father's voice became a hiss at the last word, and though he was not speaking loudly, she knew, that when he spoke his softest tones, he was most angry. There is something about velvet tones speaking cutting words, something that demands attention and that brings hurt. Her mother knew it too, and now they were speaking velvet to each other. It was her father, however, that managed to have the last say this time.
"Yes, educated, I know. Funny isn't it, how all you really do is make sure they don't follow your steps?" He uttered a hollow laugh, "what about obedience, huh, my dear, much example you give them, don't you, darling? And what about -
"Will you stop this right now, Cygnus! I won't listen to another -
"- tongue? Really an expert in keeping quiet aren't you? In behaving like a lady-"
" -and you have- what do you mean, I always behave like a lady, haven't I been the perfect wife to you?"
"- Never slouch, never-," He scoffed incredulous, and his voice lowers even further, "the perfect wife, Druella? The perfect wife? Who came to my bed, undone of her innocence, by a muggleborn? By a Mudblood as you teach our daughters? To never let them be lured by the unworthy-
His last words, however, weren't heard, because on the word Mudblood various things had happened: Bellatrix had uttered a dramatic sigh, while Andromeda and Narcissa shared a glance. Andromeda's face looked puzzled as if trying to understand something, and void of the utter hate and conviction that lay in Bellatrix's face. Narcissa's face, was perfectly blank, but inside her mind rattled. Druella had let a gut wrenching sob and was now staring wide-eyed at her husband.
"I thought," she whispered, "you told me you would never bring that up ever. Again. "
"Yes, well, my dear, you listen so often to me you must have misunderstood" Cygnus said in that lofty tone he adopted when wishing to wound, and Narcissa knew his face would be filled with a raw sort of determination, much like an eagle, who has just spotted his prey and does not intend to let go.
There was a noise in their parents' bedroom chamber, as if someone had fallen, and it lasted a while before Cygnus Black spoke again.
"Just stop the lessons, and we will not have to bring this up again"
As his form extTed through the ornate door, muffled sobs started to sound, and in the dimly lit hall next to the bedroom, the three girls exchanged glances again.
Narcissa knew, that moment, that nothing would ever be the same again.
August 1966
The lessons stopped shortly before Narissa would leave to Hogwarts.
With a forced smile Druella regarded her daughters affectionately, proclaiming she didn't believe the lessons would be necessary anymore, now that her three daughters would have enrolled in education. She believed they would learn what else there needed to be learned at Hogwarts, now that they would be surrounded by other respectable purebloods, in the most respectable house.
So three years after Andromeda, she got to go. And after a kiss from her mother and a hug from her father (with a jealous Bella standing behind some bags and a very lonely cat and a distraught Andromeda in the background) she boarded the Hogwarts express and the three sisters were finally reunited.
Needless to say, she was sorted into Slytherin.
And it would always be her little secret that she had actually wanted to be placed in Ravenclaw instead.
Oktober 1966
Narcissa meets the Malfoy's heir, the Lestrange's, Nott, Crabbe and Goyle. She talks to Parkinson, Bullstrode and Zabini. She gives amused smiles when the Weasley's and the Longbottom's are discussed, gives irritaded glances to halfbloods like Snape and avoids Muggleborns at all costs.
She only sits with Slytherins in class, and girls if she can choose. She makes remarks about Gryffindors and behaves haughty around Hufflepuffs.
She is every bit the perfect pureblood daughter she has to be.
She makes sure no one sees her engaging Ravenclaws in conversation, or helping the lost muggleborn boy once.
July, 1968
Summer after second year, Bellatrix talks about nothing but boys, and Andromeda receives letters very frequently. When asked about it she acts as if it is no big deal, speaking about a pen-friend from Italy.
Narcissa, however, sees the exitment in her eyes, and notices the way she leaves suddenly whenever she receives a letter, quill ready to answer.
Still, she says nothing, and pretends to listen to her oldest sister, while she reads.
May, 1969
It is a warm summer day in may, when it happens. Narcissa is on her way to the library, to study for her Owl's when she sees the couple.
Not a couple, no, the couple, and she thinks various things at once, why didn't she tell me, are they engaged, do mother and father know, before she pauses.
Because now she has identified the boy as Ted Tonks, the muggleborn boy who once bumped int Dromeda and had to endure Bellatrix's wrath for an entire two weeks, and no, this can't be, her sister, her respectable pureblood sister, is making out with a, with a
"Mudblood?"
The last word is spoken out loud and the effect is instantaneous. Andromeda and Tonks pull apart and spin towards her, Dromeda has her wand half raised before she realises who it is.
"Cissy?" she asks, taking a step closer.
Narcisa blinks, raises her head and looks coldly at her sister.
"Narcissa to you" she hisses.
Andromeda straightens up too and a look of understanding passes her features.
"Anything you want, Ci- Narcissa, anything," she whispers, "just don't tell them, please."
"What were you about to do, Dromeda?" Narcissa asks, "obliviate me?"
"I-I-" her older sister, the always so composed witch, fumbles for words. It is the first time Narcissa has ever seen her do that, and it is also the first time she has seen tears in her sisters eyes. Not even when Lady Black punished her had the girl let out a single tear.
Narcissa lowers her chin a little bit, because she already knows what she will have to do, but this is her sister, and-
"What would you do? If it was me?"
Andromeda locks her eyes with Narcissa's because they both know.
There has never really been any form of sisterly love between the Black sisters.
"Why him?" she asks, because out of all the Slytherin boys, she had to go and pick a Hufflepuff, a Mudblood.
Dromeda smiles wistfully "I love him" she says, though it is as simple as that, I love him, and the unsaid 'and he loves me'
With those three words her decision is cemented.
There has never really been any form of sisterly love between the Black sisters. It is time for that to change.
"I won't tell" Narcissa says.
Andromeda's eyes widen and she smiles wide, like no smile she has ever smiled to her sister before.
Narcissa feels a pang of jealousy and of regret, because she knows that the secret will come out eventually, and she now wishes she had known that kind of smiles sooner.
"Thank-you" Andromeda whispers, "thank-you
There are so many words Narcissa wants to utter. Words of love, of hate, of reproach, words of worry, of trust, of warning.
Instead she smiles hesitantly back at her sister, and when Tonks smiles at her too, she nods at him.
She would like to embrace her sister, to hug her, to really talk to her.
Instead, she turns around and walks away.
August, 1969
Bellatrix passes her last summer vacation in company of Rodolphus Lestrange, Andromeda is quiet and removed, and Narcissa dutifully presents her perfect scores and then locks herself away in the library, and reads.
September, 1969
It is shameful, an abomination, not acceptable in society and they are all strictly forbidden to have anything to do with him.
When he salutes them in the hall, Andromeda secretly smiles back, Narcissa looks away and Bellatrix..
Bellatrix talks about him with such intense hatred that Narcissa is a bit scared.
Because he still is family. He still is their cousin, with whom they used to play, and if Bellatrix regards Sirius Black so badly because he simply wasn't sorted into Slytherin house..
She doesn't dare think how her oldest sister would think about Andromeda.
December, 1969
It happens right before New Year, and it is so fitting it is ironic. The whole day the tension has been brooding and brooding between her two older sisters, and Narcissa feels it will explode any moment.
And she is right.
The moment they finish the soup, Bellatrix stands up, giving her sister a sinister smile.
"Father, I believe Andromeda dear has an announcement to make."
Narcissa looks between the confused faces of her parents, the ashamed face of her sister and Bellatrix' cruel face, and suddenly she knows, without a doubt what's about to happen.
"What is going on?" she still asks, pretending to be confused, to give her sister more time, and fine, maybe to save herself too.
Slytherins look after themselves after all, and she has never claimed not to belong.
"A good question you ask, sister! Maybe Dromeda should tell us?"
Andromeda and Narcissa exchange glances, Andromeda's face pleading, Narcissa's pitying but resolved.
"Bellatrix, stop this nonsense. Tell us what is going on at once or sit down now"
"Yes father," Bella grudgingly continues, but her face is quickly thruimphant again.
It is an expression Narcissa will come to hate later.
"Our beloved sister has promised herself to a boy"
Her mother, still confused, looks at Andromeda, because normally this would be good news, unless.. unless..
"Andromeda, dear? Is this true? Who may this boy be?"
"There is the matter mother! This boy, is none other than a Hufflepuff from our year. His name, is Edward Tonks," Bellatrix pauses dramatically.
The drama is another thing Narcissa will hate about her sister.
"A Mudblood" she finishes, and then, as if nothing is going on, as if she didn't just ruin her sister's life she sits down, takes her napkin and asks Narcissa dryly "Pass me the bread, would you?"
Narcissa raises her eyebrows t her, but before she can comment, a hell has broken loose.
It is much later, when her mother is sobbing in bed, that Narcissa will see a tear-stained Andromeda closing a door she will never pass again.
In the shadows, she will witness her father cry, but also smile a little.
And later, she will pretend she doesn't know where the pouch full of galleons went, but will amandantly insist her sister would never steal.
Her mother will believe her.
Because Narcissa always was the sweetest girl, was she not?
January, 1970
Andromeda is shunned at the Slytherin table. News travels quickly in such small circles and there is nothing Purebloods (and Slytherins) enjoy more than be able to look down at someone else.
Bloodtraitor are the whispers in the hall.
Mudblood lover, anyone can hear Bella say, she is no sister of mine. She doesn't deserve to call herself the name Black anymore. She isn't worthy of Slytherin house.
And one day, Andromeda has had enough.
Standing up from her last meal at Slytherin table, she goes to sit by the Hufflepuffs instead. Always the first one out of the common room in the morning, and the last one back at night.
Narcissa slips her a parchment slip full of protective incantations one day, and though her sister will never know it was her when they meet in the castle Andromeda always smiles at her.
Sometimes she smiles back.
April, 1970
When they return for Easter break, there is no evidence to be found of a third daughter, of a second sister. Andromeda's room has been turned into a guest chamber, one of many the Black estate holds.
Andromeda's clothing has been given away, and the personal things she didn't take with her have been destroyed.
She has been magically removed of all photographs, and her inheritance has been divided between the only two black heiresses.
There is no evidence left at all, except for the scorch mark on the wall tapestry and the ashes in the fireplace, of a letter that speaks of sisterly love.
Narcissa secretly keeps hers, unread, untouched.
September 1972
Lucius Malfoy kisses her on the cheek in greeting and she wonders about love and about marriages and how the two don't always meet.
She thinks of her father's silence and of Bellatrix sweet smiles to Rodolphus, but her rolling eyes once he looks away.
She thinks of her sister, and tries to imagine how she must've looked in her wedding gown, such a striking resemblance to her oldest (only) sister, and yet so different.
Elisabeth Parkinson greets her kindly, but with envy written on her face, and she remembers two years ago, in fifth year, when she would not stop talking about Lucius.
Yes, love is a strange thing, she decides, and smiles back at Lucius before following Elisabeth to an empty compartment.
March, 1973
Bellatrix marries Rodolphus when she is twenty-two.
She is now finally Lady Lestrange.
June, 1973
She graduates with honours, though not few people are there.
Andromeda has not been invited, and Lady Lestrange is on her honeymoon.
Her mother is ill, and her father leaves soon.
The Malfoy's invite her to join them, and from the way they treat her she notices she already is their future daughter-in-law.
She does not knows if she has to feel honoured or bothered by this.
November, 1975
Lucius asks her to marry him after two years courtship, though it is not so much of a question when he knows she won't say no.
He has already asked her parents for permission, and her mother's letter burns in her pocket.
Her father's letter, however, is the one on her mind. He speaks of happiness instead of obedience, and urges her to follow the path she thinks is right for her.
She considers saying no on principle, just to prove herself but in the end she does what is expected.
She is sure she will be able to be happy as Lucius Malfoy's wife. She knows he feels affection for her, and she does too. Maybe that is enough.
Besides, Narcissa always had been the sweetest girl, right?
July, 1976
It is a warm summer evening when Bellatrix comes to her, speaking wonders of a man who calls himself a Lord. She talks and talks, recounting his ideas and his plans, and is delighted about the possibilities for a better world.
Narcissa listens in silence, and does not shows the worry that is growing inside of her.
When Bella finishes her tale, Narcissa enquires about her Pureblood wife duties.
Bellatrix waves them away.
"Let me tell you a little secret, Cissy," she whispers giggling, but her tone grows serious, and perhaps even sad " I am barren."
Narcissa gasps softly, because it is not something easily accepted in their society, and it is something Bellatrix knows as well.
The later only shrugs at her reaction.
"Pretend a few miscarriages, and you're fine, you know. Besides, how would I be any use to the Dark Lord if I was with child?"
She laughs, and it is the first time she will have justified her actions by the Dark Lord.
She will keep doing that until the day she dies.
March, 1977
Lucius and Narcissa's wedding is probably the grandest of the century.
Everyone who is someone has been invited and they all have turned up.
However, she finds it hard to look past the two faces that are missing, one sister chooses her beloved lord above her and her other sister.. well she is not someone, is she?
Stil she smiles, and to everybody she is the sweetest girl of all.
February, 1978
Lucius smile is radiant when he shows her the mark on his arm, and tells her it is official now.
He kisses her with so much passion she is left breathless.
She only hopes he will not follow her sister on the twisted path of devotion and insanity.
June, 1980
She clutches her newborn son in her arms, and smiles, promising him the world.
Lucius kisses her on top of her head, and then whispers it into her ear.
And it's perfect. He is perfect.
Draco.
Oktober, 1981
While the wizarding comunity rejoices, Narcissa sits in the cold and empty drawing room, waiting anxiously for her husband to return.
Three hours later, he is finally there.
He's gone, he whispers, he is gone, and then proceeds to tell her the tale of a little baby named Harry Potter, and the defeat of perhaps the greatest wizard of the century.
The greatest madman, she thinks, and is secretly relieved.
Outwardly, she hugs Lucius, and as always, plays the role of perfect wife, and sweetest girl.
March, 1983
Relief. Profound relief.
And while she should feel bad for the woman, she is glad. And so relieved.
Bellatrix has been brought to Azkaban, and her son will never have to experience her influence.
June, 1991
"Mum! The letter arrived! My letter!"
"Draco, what have I told you about screaming in the house?"
"I apologise, father"
Lucius smiles at his son, tells him he is proud of him, and announces a trip to Diagon Alley.
August, 1996
He is back, Lucius had announced, talking about glory and rewards.
Draco had smirked and narrowed his eyes bit.
Now, her husband is in Azkaban, and as her kind sister repeats every five minutes, defeated by mere teenagers. She conveniently forgets she has been defeated too.
The Dark Lord is furious, and all Bellatrix' speech about honour and sacrifices does simply not matter to her, because she refuses to lose her son.
She knows it is only punishment, the intention of their beloved Lord.
And as the golden bands unite Severus' hand with hers, under quiet surveillance of her sister, she thinks perhaps she is not that sweet girl anymore.
She wonders if this is a good thing or not.
May, 1998
No more, she thinks. No more.
"Draco.. is he alive?" she breathes, a bit of pressure behind it to form words. Behind her the Dark Lord waits impatiently for a response, her sister restless with her devotion and the madness that never left her since she came back from the Dementors. The ugly bloodthirst that made her kill her very own niece, and her nephew before her.
Lost in thought she almost misses the tiny nod the boy gives, sprawled out on the ground, with his glasses laying a few feet away and his wand, seemingly limp in his hands.
Draco is alive. Triumphant she stands, because the only reason she has fought is to ensure his safety, when her husband couldn't.
Lucius scrutinises her as she first levels her gaze on him, and the raw desperation she sees in her eyes cements her decision. Not much of the glory promised to the Malfoy family had been given to them, and she knows, with one action, she could finally claim all that glory.
'He is alive' is all she has to say, and stand aside as the Dark Lord kills that boy he has been running after for seventeen years.
But it will never be over. They will never be free, as he builds and shapes the society to his wish. Because, if there is one lesson she had learned from her mother, from her eldest sister, is that for people with an obsession, it really never is enough.
Bellatrix would probably end up killing her whole family because they were not pure enough. Just as her mother had removed Andromeda from the family tree with one simple incantation, Bellatrix would do the same to remove them from her life.
And if it wasn't her sister, it would be him. The man who had claimed her house, sat on her husband's place, even slept in their beds.
Enough, she thinks. Enough.
If there is anyone who has the chance to defeat him, to free them, it is the boy laying at her feet.
So, she turns to him, and gives a cold smile.
"He is dead" she speaks.
And remembering her father's teary eyes and her sister closing the door in pursuit of her happiness she makes another decision.
Never again will she be the sweetest girl.
A/N: So uhm, tell me what you think about it? :)