Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Slightly Abridged but Mostly Intact.
The Vampire Girl
Disclaimer: I don't own.
Plea: Don't hurt me. It's all in fun. I actually love the series.
It was a dark and stormy night, just before Harry Potter's seventeenth birthday. The seconds ticked by, and the boy- nearly man- watched his alarm clock with a tension he couldn't place.
Oh. Right. He was probably going to get attacked in a few moments.
The magic that secured Harry's life whilst he could call the Number Four, Privet Drive his home would run out in a matter of seconds. At this point in time, their was a brilliant possibility that entire armies of Death Eaters would flock upon Magnolia Crescent to have a cup of tea made of Chose One tears and Muggle blood.
Happy birthday.
The clock beeped.
It occurred to Harry then that his life pretty much sucked. There really wasn't much of an incentive to stick around. With a bemused expression, he pointed his wand at himself and declared,
"Avada Kedavra."
And that is how the series probably would have ended if I'd written it.