Welcome to my domain
a place of grey, secrets, and often…pain
so watch your step as you wander my land,
or sometime, you may loose a hand.

This little glimpse into my life story
Is more than most others do see
But if you walk away from that land of gray
You'll see it's replaced by a much better view (that's what I say)

Sit in the meadow over there,
and talk to a passing cloud; and with that creature please share
Your mid-day meal— you see,
they get cranky when they're hungry.

Do you think I'm crazy?
That glance you gave me
Says that and more
Well, I hate to inform you that I've been asked that before

I'm not, I'm certain; honestly
No, not really, but please don't roll your eyes and whisper 'crazy'
O! look, a shiny. Never-mind, it's only a raven
Oh, thank you my little winged friend—that feather will make an excellent new pen.

Well, here's a place you haven't seen yet:
It's a castle built of that stone: jet.
It's quite warm and lovely
Though it may seem a bit…un-comfy?
(I must wonder if that 'tis a word)

The books are un-numbered, the carpets are (necessarily) soft
A fire is burning in all rooms but the loft.
If you look in the kitchen, than maybe you'll see
A jolly old cook mixing another delicacy

I'm very well fed: that's why I don't eat that nasty school lunch
Here, I can eat breakfast, lunch, supper and brunch!
See here's the place where I keep my swords:
And no, my skills are not a bunch of empty words.

I know each of these like the friends they are
And they're like parts of meh; so my arms reach far.
Yes they have names and no you can't touch
And let's go somewhere else, before you hurt yourself too much.

My healers can only do so much to a severed arm
And now they're rather busy: my dragons torched a farm
All the people on that land
Now are being treated for second-degree burns on the face and hand.

See here's the stable where my steeds are kept
Now they're out in the fields, I suspect.
Over there, no, the other way—watch for that step, fool!
Are the places where we keep food that must be cool.
(I would advise not entering there)

Up the last few stairs, look, now we're up on top:
This is called the danger spot.
No jumping or running please
And keep arms, legs and body inside the wall. It's for safety, you see.

Over there by the east
My forests do sit; inhabited by many a wild beast
I often go there simply to talk and study
The poor creatures are starved of anything that's not muddy.

So I bring my books, and I bring my fire
And so they gather.
The elves in the woods also
Sometimes grow mad (but rarely does it show)

So I bring some gold, silver and SHINY THINGS
And smile when I see them as bracelets and rings.
But enough of that place, let's go down below
Where the walls drip and torches only dimly glow.

Welcome to the dungeons, so nasty as can be
What can I say: do you want them nice, clean and cuddly?
The torture room's not for the faint of heart…
oh, you look squeamish, shall we from here depart?

So I think you've seen it all
What's that? The great feasting hall?
My apologies, I totally forgot to bring you there
…would you like to sample our fare?

We've got stews and soups in silver dishes
Steaks and vegetables arranged in the shape of multi-colored fishes.
The desserts, well I must say are quite fine
And I could go on forever about the wine.

Last week the cake was a swan,
And the pies were the likeness of the Kahn.
Yes that's a person, who…
I have no clue.

Cook said, so it be.
Just a warning—and for free!
Keep your cooks happy and paid
If not, well, to eat— I'd be afraid.

I thank thee for coming to this humble home
And feasting with me—it is quite lonely here, all alone
Welcome back you are
But now I must wish you fare-

thee-well, for the day does draw swiftly
to a close, and I must soon be
off to the land-out-of-my-mind
and leave this place behind…

So how did you like my home extraordinaire?
It's where I've lived for years, and sometimes it seems unfair
I have a castle in my mind
While others are left behind