Title: Unfailing
Author: Cassandra Mulder
Rating: T
Classification: The Office, Jim/Pam, romance
Spoilers: Season nine, post-"Paper Airplanes"
Disclaimer: The Office in no way belongs to me, nor is any infringement intended.
Written: April 26, 2013
Summary: If love never failed, then how had they gotten here?
A/N: It's been about a million years since I've written (or, at least, completed) fic, but this week's episode of The Office moved me to tears at the end, so I was inspired to take that lovely scene of Jim and Pam's reconciliation a little further. I hope you enjoy, and if so, feedback is always appreciated.
When Jim saw Pam turn away, it was as if lightning struck him. All he could see was her back, stiff and tense, walking back toward the office building, and suddenly he didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know how it had come to this. The last several months had turned them into people he didn't even recognize anymore, and he blamed himself.
She was all he had ever wanted. She was the one he saw in his dreams and imagined in his fantasies for years on end, and he had her. It was supposed to be forever, but all he seemed to do anymore was hurt her. The Jim from six years ago would absolutely kill him for that. The Jim from six years ago would feel about him like he used to feel about Roy. Roy took her for granted, and didn't consider her feelings.
Like he was doing now.
He sprinted toward her, his long legs reaching her in just a couple of long strides, and he grabbed her arm to turn her around. Pam had no idea what was happening, but he didn't stop to explain. He simply wrapped his arms all the way around her, and held her close. She didn't resist, but she didn't reciprocate immediately. He pulled her closer. He buried his face in her hair, nuzzled into her neck, and tried to breathe her in. He remembered the electric shock of when they met (for him, anyway), how it felt to love her and not be able to have her, what it felt like when he could finally have her - their wedding, their children... He couldn't believe he was letting it slip away over a job; something that had never been more than a paycheck to him before.
He wanted to want things, and he wanted to be able to support his family doing something he actually enjoyed, but not at their expense. He wanted her more than any of that, because without her nothing else would matter.
Pam finally wrapped her arms around his back, and he felt a small shudder go through her. She pulled back and he could see her face crumple just before she took his face in both hands and kissed him. When they parted, they were both smiling as they said, "I love you" in unison, and he hugged her so tightly he almost picked her up off the ground.
The taxi driver, about whom they had forgotten, honked his horn, bringing them back down to earth.
Pam's face fell. "You have to go."
Jim had already made up his mind. "No, I don't. Not tonight. Maybe not even tomorrow, just..." He held out his hands. "Just stay right here."
He ran back to the cab, grabbed his bag out of the back seat, and compensated the cabbie for his time. When he walked back to Pam, he could see tears shining in her eyes. He wrapped an arm around her, and she leaned into his chest, her hands clutching the front of his shirt. She dissolved into tears, and his heart broke because he knew he had caused them. Whether it was sadness or relief, it didn't matter. She needed to let it out, and he needed to be the one to be there for her. He dropped his bag on the ground, and completed the embrace. He stroked her hair and came close to crying with her as he paid penance for letting things get this bad.
When she finally settled down a bit, she stepped back, tear stained and possibly more beautiful than he had ever seen her in his life. He swallowed hard, praying for the right words to say. He began with the obvious.
"I am so sorry, Pam," he said. "I have been so incredibly selfish, and I don't know how I let it get this far."
She shook her head. "I'm sorry I didn't speak up. I should have known better. I should have been honest about how I felt. It's never been hard to be honest with you, Jim, but I've never seen you want anything so much."
"Yes, you have," he said, and he didn't have to explain. She just knew. It was like the lines of communication had suddenly been reopened. "It's just a job, and I let the excitement of something new overtake me, and I was stupid. And we will talk about all of that, but right now, I need you to go upstairs and get your things. Please," he said.
She looked up at him and then the building, and back again. He thought she was about to protest that it was only three-thirty in the afternoon and she couldn't leave, but then she turned and headed for the building. They both knew Andy wasn't going to stop her, and if he tried she would just make up an excuse.
While he waited for her to come back, he called his mother-in-law and made arrangements for her to pick up CeCe and Phillip from daycare and keep them over night. He also made a mental note to have her sainted, as she had been a tremendous help to Pam ever since he had decided to commute to Philadelphia.
When Pam came back down with her purse, he escorted her to the car, opened her door for her, and then got in the driver's seat. She looked like she might ask him what they were doing, but the drive home passed quietly, and when he reached out to hold her hand, she met him halfway. Except for the last six months, it was like nothing had ever changed. He wanted to make her - them - forget that it ever had.
When they arrived home, he got everything out of the car and carried it in as she unlocked and opened the door. He dropped his luggage in the foyer and reached for her. He bent down to kiss her, slowly and sweetly for the first few moments, and then it was like something rapidly intensified in both of them. She deepened the kiss, and he hauled her against him, lifting her up so the height difference didn't matter so much. He stumbled a bit by accident, and Pam ended up against the wall with a gasp. He stepped back, scared that he had hurt her, but she just laughed, and pulled his head back down.
Neither of them had any idea what they were doing or where this was headed, but they were eager to find out. The need to be as close as possible was overwhelming them both as Jim whirled them around and tried to find his way to the bedroom without having to stop kissing her.
When they reached their room, he picked her up and gently placed her on the bed. He resumed kissing her, while trying to remove her outer layers of clothing. He raised up and looked at her, really looked at her, for the first time in what felt like forever. "I love you so much, Pam," he said, his voice slightly breaking. "And I am so sorry if it ever felt like I forgot that."
"Me, too," she said, cradling his face in her hands. "I just didn't know what to do."
"I think I know now," Jim said, the mischievous grin she loved so much spreading across his face. "The rest we will figure out later. Together. I promise."
She smiled back, and hope was reborn in both of them. For better or for worse, everything was going to be totally fine.
Finis