Traveling On
Disclaimer: Not mine! Mutant X belongs to Tribune and Marvel.
Summary: Their last mission had been seeped in the past; little did they know their next one would test the realities of the present, taking them on a new journey of discovery for them all. Sequel to Traveling Souls and Part II of the Journey of Discovery Series. B/S and some J/E.
Rating: PG to a mild PG-13
A/N: I'm finally back! The idea for this story came to me as I was listening to a song on the radio on my way into work. The following question popped into my head: What if Brennan woke up to find it had all been a dream? Ideas took off from there, and this story was born. For the longest time I couldn't decide if I should continue on from Traveling Souls into an AU world since it is set right before episode 222 with Adam and Emma or if I should continue after episode 222 with the death of Adam and Emma and the joining of Lexa. I hope you'll like how I finally decided to resolve that little dilemma, although it won't fully be shown until later. I was given requests for both settings, so I did my best to balance out all requests. On a side note, since we never know the exact timeline of MX, I've set this series "sometime in the near future," so am not assuming a present year of 2005 for this story. Jesse states in episode 222 that he is 28 years old, so I am assuming Brennan is one to two years older. There is also a slight reference to episode 204 in this chapter, although I took the liberty of adding a memory to the events of that episode. As last time, this is still a work in progress, and my schedule is busier than ever, so I will most likely be updating only once a week. I hope you'll stay with me through this new story and join me on a new journey of discovery; of the past, of the present, and of the future, of life, of love, and of home. Thank you!
Excerpt From Traveling Souls:
"Traveling souls."
The words were so soft, she might have only imagined them. She glanced back over her shoulder at Brennan, and he tightened his hold on her fingers. Her eyes drifted back to their footprints, partially erased by rolling waves, slowly washing away their path, making way for a new one. Traveling souls. That's what it was all really about. The universe had more than one road, more than one fate. It was up to them to make their own choice, to choose their own road. Their souls had connected while traveling this journey. With each other and maybe, she thought as she glanced over at Brennan's shadowed face, just maybe even with others…
…The firelight was low, crackling warmly when they returned to their family. Emma was sleeping in Jesse's arms, nose pushed into his shoulder, stirring slightly when Jesse lifted his head to smile, welcoming them back. She muttered something in her sleep, and he grinned, pressing a long kiss into her red hair, glowing like a sunburst in the reflected light. Adam had gone back to reading, smiling at them over the top of his book as they settled back down by the fire. Brennan sat down first, and Shalimar climbed into his lap, leaning back on his chest. As she settled against him, her weight brought with it a familiar warmth, and he pulled her a little closer. Her head fit snugly into the crock of his elbow, and he tenderly kissed her forehead as her eyes fell shut, sleeping in his arms. It wasn't before long that her eyes darted under her closed lids, her lips curving into a smile as she curled in more tightly against him. She was dreaming. The thought made him smile. They were back to where it had first started, that night when she had held him after his dream.
Only this time, it was peaceful.
Brennan tenderly kissed her forehead. "Dream in sunlight, Shal."
His whispered words touched her, and she smiled, hearing him even in sleep, knowing the moment he believed, heart and mind racing toward new possibilities. He lifted their twined fingers and pressed a kiss against her knuckles. They had undergone much on this journey of discovery together, only to learn their choice had already been made. It had been made long ago when something within one recognized the other. They were connected, and they shared the same road.
Firelight winked and wind stirred, catching up long strands of her hair until it wrapped around them both in a golden halo. Light mists moved across the water, rippling the calm surface in a steady drone until Brennan fell asleep as well, forehead coming to rest against hers, moonlight bathing them in a gentle glow…
Traveling On—Chapter One
Prelude:
California, 1986
He was falling.
That much registered in his brain as his body thrashed in panic, cold wind whistling against his back, the oversized sweater bunching up under his arms to reveal a long, thin chest not yet developed, but hinting at future strength.
It was a short fall, the cement rushing up and slamming into his skinny back before coherent thought remembered where he was. He lay still a moment, the wind knocked out of him, already feeling the throbbing of painful bruises.
None of them compared to the ringing in his ears as the furious face of his mother bent over him, hurtling an angry lecture at him.
He winced, pushing himself into a sitting position, yanking the edge of his sweater back down to his waist. He had almost done it that time. Just a few more sparks and he would have gotten it started…
"And just what do you think you were you planning to do with that thing!" His mother gestured to the shiny car up on display on the raised platform, gripping his bony shoulder with tight fingers as she shoved her face close to his. He stared morosely at the ground. "I will not have my son become a thief--"
He glanced up sharply as her voice dropped abruptly, hot guilt coursing through him at the fear and grief twisting her face as she struggled for control.
She was crying.
He kicked at a clump of weeds sprouting through a crack in the sidewalk as his friends gawked nearby.
"What am I going to do with you?" She whispered in defeat, releasing her grip on him suddenly, turning away.
She looked old, frail, as she slowly walked away from him, shoulders slumped, and a new fear struck him. "Wait—Ma—I'm sorry!" He ran after her, stumbling in his haste, heart pounding when for a moment it looked like she wasn't going to stop. But she did, and uncaring of any audience, he wrapped shaking arms around her thin waist, pressing his nose into her stomach, startled to find his arms easily reached all the way around her now. She had lost so much weight recently. Too much. "I'm sorry."
He was short, the top of his head barely reaching her chest, but she knew if he was anything like his father, he would be shooting up tall in no time. She sighed, brushing a strand of unruly dark hair off his lean forehead. His father. She blinked her eyes rapidly at the still painful memory, and of others lost to them. Her arms tightened around her son.
He was all she had left.
God help her, the next thought scared her even more.
She was all he had left.
She swallowed bitterly at the tears clogging her throat, at the unfairness of it all, that his biggest fear was being left alone, and that she was powerless to prevent it from happening, and that she might not be able to raise him properly in the time she had left. She reached up, ripping a chain from around her neck, releasing her hold on her son, kneeling down beside him instead.
"Here, baby."
"Ma," He squirmed in embarrassment at his mother's words, ears turning pink at the tittering laughter behind him, knowing the bigger boys had heard, barely noticing as she clasped a light chain around his neck. "Can I go play now?" He asked impatiently as she straightening the pendant, dropping it under the thickness of his sweater. His eyes darted anxiously towards the gang of boys still watching.
"Yeah." She stood back up, arms achingly empty as her son darted down the sidewalk. "But you stay away from that car or so help me---"
He waved back, disappearing in the swell of boys surrounding him, closing him off from her view.
A silent sob wracked her frail body, and she turned away from the sight, afraid her son was already lost to her.
He barely heard the voice of his friends as they crowded around him, the cold chain hanging heavy on his thin neck, the pendant pounding against his heart as he ran…
Sanctuary, Present Day
Brennan's head jerked upward in sudden awareness, wincing as skin pulled and popped, sticky with sweat where their foreheads had been pressed together in the warmth of the fire. He grimaced, rubbed at his temple with one hand as his muscles protested next, having grown stiff from his awkward slumped position. His other arm was completely numb from where Shalimar lay limp and heavy against him. He blinked sleepily, memory groggily returning. They were still on the beach below Sanctuary. He had been dreaming again. He hadn't had that dream about that particular childhood memory for a long time, and he wasn't sure what brought it on now.
He squinted, scrubbing a hand across his face, pausing after a moment to hold it out in front of him.
He couldn't see it.
It was pitch dark.
He turned his eyes towards where he thought the fire might be. Warmth still radiated in the air around him, but even the embers had lost their glow sometime while they slept. It might have been hours or it might have been minutes, he wasn't even sure.
"Brennan."
He recognized Jesse's whispered voice in the darkness. "Yeah?"
"Just checking to see if that was you."
Brennan chuckled. "Who else would I be?" He sensed Jesse's wry face in the darkness.
"What time do you think it is?"
"I don't know." Brennan shifted Shalimar's head to his other shoulder, rotating his numb arm, feeling the telltale tingles prickling their way up and down his skin.
"Jesse?" Emma's voice came out of the shadows next.
"Right here, babe."
Brennan listened to their murmuring voices as he flexed his fingers, aiming a short blast towards the fire. A new spark fizzled and died.
Emma laughed shortly, reaching over to place a few new sticks into the blackened ring. "Try again."
"That would have been helpful a few minutes ago." Brennan ignored Emma's look as he sent another well-aimed blast and this time small flames roared to life. He smiled, arm dropping back around Shalimar as she instinctively pressed back against him, away from the fire. Her fingers curled reflexively into his shirt, and closed his hand around hers.
"Adam's gone." Emma straightened up in sudden awareness. She tilted her head, concentrating, lips spreading into a wide smile after a moment.
"Emma?"
"He's sound asleep in his bed, having a good dream too."
Jesse grinned. "Guess the thought of a comfortable mattress was more alluring than a dying campfire."
Normally Brennan couldn't have agreed more, but just this once, with Shalimar curled pliant and soft against his chest and the flickering warmth of the fire against his back, he was content right where he was. The wind blew, and the crash of the surf against the shore brought a waft of sea salt and evening primrose. They fell back into silence, the sound of their relaxed breathing mingling with the light rustling of nearby trees. The fire popped, and it was loud in the night.
"We should go swimming." Emma's voice finally broke the silence.
"Now?" Jesse glanced down at her, eyebrows askance.
"Yeah, haven't you ever gone swimming at night? It's exhilarating. We used to go all the time when I was a kid."
"I thought you hated camping, all that fuss a few days ago to Adam about sleeping on the trail."
"Not necessarily." Her voice had taken on a sultry tone.
Jesse swallowed hard.
Brennan half-dozed, listening to their voices, battling between the tempting idea of never moving again and visions of Shalimar's creamy wet skin reflecting in the moonlight. Beneath his warm palm, Shalimar's fingers spread open. His fingers slid naturally between hers, distracting his train of thought, marveling at the soft warmth of her skin. It took him a moment to realize her thumb had begun to rub lightly back and forth, teasing the sensitive underside of his hand, and his muscles tensed in awareness, heat coursing through him at the simple touch. Her fingers gave a gentle answering squeeze, and he quickly cleared his throat. It took him another second to realize Jesse and Emma had stopped talking, turned toward him in expectation.
"Why don't you guys go on, I'll just ah, stay here with Shal, no sense in disturbing her." He felt her smile against his chest and cleared his throat again, squirming slightly as Shalimar's other hand began to roam across his back.
"Alright." Jesse and Emma barely noticed, already starting toward the water. He could hear their footprints picking up speed and then a breathy squeal from Emma as they melted into the inky darkness.
He waited only a moment more to make sure they were really gone before turning his head down towards hers. Her head was tilted up, watching him. He saw the slight flare of her nostrils as she inhaled his scent, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt to steady herself as her heart rate began to pick up.
"Shal…" His own heart began to pound in return as he brought his hands up to gently cup her face. He had never seen anything so beautiful as the way she was looking up at him right at that moment, eyes luminous in the soft firelight. His knuckles brushed her cheek without any conscious effort, and then his lips followed, mouth meeting hers in a swirl of color and emotion. Her lips were bare and warm as he brushed his own back and forth against hers, the gentleness belaying the stirring hunger raging within. He had thought about kissing her so many times over the years, that he could scarcely believe he had the right to do so now. This was Shalimar, his Shalimar. He groaned, arms circling around her to pull her even closer yet. She deepened the kiss in response, until everything else disappeared except the taste and texture of their joined mouths.
Jesse stared over the dark water, conscious of Emma standing silently next to him. It looked inviting, cool, tempting. It looked beautiful.
He didn't have a suit on under his clothes like Emma did.
"Who said anything about suits?"
Startled, he glanced over at Emma.
She looked back.
A small smile tugged at his lips at the slight blush rising up her neck. "Skinny dipping?" He broke eye contact first, looking back at the water, dark as the trees. He could almost feel the cool water against his skin. "Alright." He turned his gaze back toward her, a hint of gleam in the moonlight. If you promise not to look."
She stifled a surprised laugh, fingers pressed against her lips. "I wouldn't have it any other way." She grinned at his expression, turning away from the lake and putting her back to him. Two could play at this game. "Don't be too long," She tossed back over her shoulder as he continued to stare at her. After a moment, he shrugged, pulling off his shirt. It dropped into the sand with a gentle plop. His hands fell to his buckle next, checking to see if Emma was looking.
She was staring.
He fought to keep a straight face. "Hey, don't peek."
"I'm not." She whirled back around.
He laughed outright this time, quickly shedding his clothing and wading into the water until it was well above his waist. He turned back to face the shore, wading lazily. The moon had risen a little higher, casting a silver path across the black water in front of him. "Your turn," He called to the waiting psionic, watching as she quickly stripped down to her swimsuit.
"You forgot something," He called as she started toward the water.
Emma stopped on the shore, one brow playfully raised. "You didn't turn around."
"I never promised."
Her hands landed on her hips. "Jesse Kilmartin…"
He grinned in reply.
Shalimar relaxed back against a log and stared at the campfire. It was a cool evening, but not enough so they had needed to light the fire. But it made the campsite cozy and was small enough that she didn't fear it. She glanced up as Brennan sank back down beside her, a small brown package in his hand.
"Are Jesse and Emma still swimming?" He asked, ignoring her silent inquiry to the brown bag in his hands.
She turned her head slightly in a gesture that he recognized meant she was listening. She nodded after a brief moment. "Yeah, I hear water."
He automatically started to turn his head in the direction of the dark water, but a sharp intake of breath from Shalimar brought his head back around. "Shal?" She shook her head at his questioning look, but faint red stained her cheeks. Interesting. His lips curled into a slight understanding smirk, brows rising as he again turned an appraising look back in the direction of the water.
THUNK.
Something struck his head.
"Don't even think about it." Shalimar's soft laugh rolled in his ears as she smoothed her fingers through his hair, soothing the spot she had just playfully smacked.
He pouted, rubbing his head.
"What did you bring?" She gestured at the bag, turning his attention back to whatever he had brought back from the cooler.
"A surprise." He brightened, waving the bag triumphantly. "I remembered how you once said they were your favorite."
"What is it?" She grinned as his chest swelled proudly, pretending she couldn't already smell what waited inside, watching as he pulled out marshmallows and a slightly melted chocolate bar. Even though she had known, her throat still choked up with sudden emotion. "I can't believe you remembered."
"Of course I did." He paused, about to toss over a package of graham crackers. Their eyes met with a rush of warmth. "I couldn't believe it when I saw Adam even had the right kind of chocolate in stock…" His voice trailed away, remembering how she had been insistent that only Hershey bars, the plain kind, would do when she had told him about how to make them earlier that year. She had been hurt, badly clawed by another wild feral, and they had been stuck alone in the woods. He could still taste the fear in his mouth as she'd clung to him as they ran, gasping something to him about going camping again on a better day and making something called S'mores.
She kissed him, catching him unaware. "Brennan," she whispered his name a scant quarter inch from his lips when she finally pulled back, at a loss for words.
She felt a smile lift the edges of his mouth. "I know, I'm good."
She chuffed a tender laugh against his lips, breathing him in.
Both their eyes closed as he began to do the same to her, nuzzling her nose softly, inhaling, taking in each little breath that puffed out of her parted mouth. It was so intimate, breathing her in this way. He imagined it was the feral in him, learning from the feral in her. He caressed her cheek with his nose one last time, and then she closed the small space between them, covering his lips gently with hers. He rose up to his knees, crackers tumbling out of his lap as he framed her face, bringing her mouth back to his for another deep kiss. He lost track of all sense of time and space. There was only her, and only him, and the endless melting of mouths and souls as they finally showed each other all they meant to one another. Of their own accord, his fingers found their way to the straps tied around her neck, holding her swimsuit up beneath the baggy sweatshirt she wore over it. He gave a tug, feeling the strings loosen beneath his fingers, bringing her closer for another kiss when she started to pull back, hands wandering down her sides. He finally broke the kiss when he felt her shiver and say his name, and leaned his forehead against hers, breathing heavy. He knew the words even without giving them voice. Later. He had almost forgotten they still weren't entirely alone here. After a moment, she wrapped her arms around him to pull him fully against her in a hug. His fingers found the sliding strings, retying them before backing away a few inches. He ran a hand across his face, looking at her like she had bewitched him.
One corner of her mouth quirked up in understanding.
The feeling was mutual.
He leaned toward her once more, giving her a brief, but sweet kiss. She tasted the resignation in him, trailing her hands down his still heaving chest. She had had no idea how true her whispered words to Emma a few days ago had been when they had exchanged longing giggles while watching the guys packing up the tents.
This was going to be so good.
She watched Brennan's profile lighted up in the glow of the fire as he settled back down, opening the package of marshmallows and spearing a couple on a stick. "Roast them over the coals, not the flames," She cautioned as he thrust the stick toward the fire. He threw her a smile, turning his concentration back onto the melting marshmallow. It was already starting to turn brown, the edges dripping and spattering into the fire. She smiled as she watched him, getting the graham crackers and chocolate ready for him. His hair, sticking straight up from the humidity, made him look boyish. It hit her how cozy a moment this felt, preparing food quietly together, the soft sounds and smells of home surrounding them. She closed her eyes for a moment just taking it all in, allowing the emotions inside her to swell.
She ached for this. For him.
She smiled again as he turned towards her, head bent in studied concentration as he carefully pushed the melted marshmallow off the stick and onto the waiting graham cracker. He broke off a chunk of the chocolate bar, squishing it down into the melted whiteness and before balancing another cracker on top. She reached over, brushing his hair off his forehead with a tender hand as he looked up at her in delight, holding out his creation.
"Taste it." She encouraged him to try it first, laughing as his eyes rolled back in disbelief at the first gooey bite.
Oh yeah.
So good.
They glanced back up as Jesse and Emma came staggering back from the beach, dripping wet, but smiling widely. Brennan's mouth popped open, but Shalimar had already seen the glint in his eye and shoved her elbow into his side before he could get a word out. His mouth snapped shut with an audible click. She wasted no time making more treats and handed one over to Jesse, whose eyes lit up in appreciation.
"Thanks, Shal." He mumbled around a mouthful of chocolaty goo.
She handed one over to Emma next, brow raised in that code only another woman could understand. We definitely need to talk.
Emma grinned back with a quick nod before taking a hungry bite of her own.
The fire crackled merrily, the smell of chocolate strong on the air. Shalimar settled back down, licking her sticky fingers, smiling at Brennan as his eyes dropped predictably to her mouth. He gave her a slow wink, fingers catching hers and tugging her closer, pressing a kiss to her wind-tossed hair as she tumbled into his lap, arms wrapping around her in gentle comfort.
Finally, reluctantly, they called it a night, pushing sand onto the dying fire to distinguish the last of the flames, gathering up wet towels and supplies with tired yawns, padding barefoot through the cool sand back towards the bright warmth of Sanctuary, voices and laughter growing softer until only the rolling waves could be heard in the quiet night. Faint wisps of smoke from the cooling firepit rose silently into the air, the smell still carrying faintly on the breeze. There was a call of a gull, the hiss of rolling water, then the gentle lapping of wave against sand.
Left alone, there was no one around to notice as their footprints in the sand were slowly, doggedly, being washed away, one by one, until no trace of their presence remained.
And then there was only the sand, stretching smoothly in all directions.